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(Some Guy)   Help the Brits on Fark understand Yanks better: create an American version of this chart   ( blog.geekpress.com) divider line
    More: Cool, Fark, Yankees, Americans, civility  
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890 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 27 Sep 2013 at 7:44 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

24 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
2013-09-27 03:37:01 AM  
That. Is. SPOT ON.
2013-09-27 04:43:44 AM  
I'm not even British and this makes perfect sense to me.
2013-09-27 07:00:22 AM  
"you are a farking idiot"

translation: "you have expressed an opinion contrary to an opinion I have"
2013-09-27 07:46:17 AM  
I get it. British understate things whilst Americans are filled with hyperbole.

American Saying -> What Is meant -> What Foreigners hear

Obama is a Hitler Commie -> I vote Republican -> I am an idiot
2013-09-27 07:51:00 AM  
I'll do another one, non political this time

American Saying -> What Is meant -> What Foreigners hear

This hamburger is so farking good -> I am hungry, this satiates me -> I do not know what good food is
2013-09-27 08:00:26 AM  
We call it maize. You call it corn.
2013-09-27 08:06:51 AM  
Bless her heart------> I am about to disparage this person---->She really cares about her
2013-09-27 08:13:51 AM  
I have lots of black friends----->I have met a black person------>America is so racially diverse
2013-09-27 08:15:12 AM  
No, that's cool. -> I may not like it, but I don't want to argue about it. -> Hey, an American thinks I'm cool!
2013-09-27 08:16:43 AM  
I'm so glad the EPL is on TV----->Jesus, is it football season already----->I still have hope for these people
2013-09-27 08:22:28 AM  
You jagoff   ------->  You're a friendly idiot -------> I'm German?
2013-09-27 08:24:08 AM  
From my cold, dead hands -----> 2nd Amendment forever -------> don't look at my undersize penis
2013-09-27 08:28:20 AM  
I am the Walrus---->I'm making a Beatles reference---->I'm out of my element
2013-09-27 08:29:12 AM  
that's nice -> go fark yourself -> that's nice.
2013-09-27 08:30:18 AM  
A Yankee is a New York baseball team member.  We don't like them either.
2013-09-27 09:45:56 AM  
thanks for the drink -> I'm not talking to you anymore -> you want me to buy you more drinks until we go back to my place to tear each other's clothes off

are you sure you don't want another drink?  --> does this rag smell like chloroform? --> you are so hot that men buy you drinks just because they're nice and carry no pretense

how long have you been in this dumpster? -> score! crazy naked homeless chick! -> you're in a dumpster again and those trashbags make you look fat

do you need a ride home? -> does this rag smell like chloroform? --> you are so hot that men buy you drinks just because they're nice and carry no pretense
2013-09-27 10:10:02 AM  
Southerners approach politeness in an almost British fashion. Almost, because there is a bit more emotion and effusiveness that the British seem to fear and recoil from. It is a way of talking around a subject, that Southerners parse fair quickly. Like the use of "God bless his poor, dear, sweet heart" is Southern for "my God but that boy is an idiot..." Though, when applied to a direct conversation, "bless your heart" generally translates to "I'm glad that such a mess of crap landed in your lap, and you deserve every moment of discomfort you mean spirited dumbass, and don't you dare track this mess back on me."

Or "I reckon you oughta" which means "do this now. Do it fast. Do it without question. Do this and drive your enemies before you and hear the lamentations of their women!"

"I like what you've done with your hair" generally translates to "Jeebus Frist what in the Hells did you let Trudy do to you, and have you no mirror?"

"I'll never tell a soul" usually means "O Lord, EVERYONE I know is going to hear about this." Add a "cross my heart" and it means that said person will tell all their friends to spread this around. "hope to die" adds on the implied meaning that family, friends and relations in distant states will know before your ass leaves the driveway.

Where the English deadpan and impassive, Southerners go warmer, effusive, and cattily b*tchy right to your face, saying the worst things in the world, in the very nicest of ways.
2013-09-27 10:53:22 AM  
That whole "WHAT FOREIGNERS UNDERSTAND" bit appears to be for non-native English speakers, because most of the phrases mean the same thing outside of Britain.
2013-09-27 11:19:00 AM  
Bob's your uncle...And there you have it...I will give you money for a ride on your father's brother's funstick
2013-09-27 11:20:44 AM  

Because People in power are Stupid: American Saying -> What Is meant -> What Foreigners hear

"I've researched both sides of this issue" -> "I've taken Rush/Hannity/Fox's blathering as fact" -> "What a well-informed person. I should value his views."
2013-09-27 12:35:37 PM  
Quick and dirty:

s11.postimg.orgView Full Size
2013-09-27 01:19:07 PM  
An American would have formatted the list better
2013-09-27 02:52:14 PM  
THis one seems to be just for me, I think.

I say -> I mean -> you hear:

Excuse me -> I apologize for inconveniencing you -> GET OUT OF MY WAY
2013-09-27 05:28:29 PM  
I was so pissed -> I was so angry -> I was so drunk
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