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(NJ.com)   Sincerely pleading your case to a parking officer may get you out of a ticket. Throwing feces at her? Probably not   ( nj.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, parking enforcement, field, parking officer, 9th Street  
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2142 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Sep 2013 at 4:37 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

35 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
2013-09-19 12:00:20 AM  
You're not supposed to do it yourself.

sidesalad.netView Full Size
2013-09-19 12:21:50 AM  
Well, most people consider parking officers shiatheads anyways.
2013-09-19 04:44:44 AM  
The Jersey Smore?

4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2013-09-19 04:44:48 AM  
Once the ticket is writ
There's no way to acquit.

i651.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-09-19 04:47:46 AM  
There is no reasoning with parking droids
2013-09-19 04:50:22 AM  
FTFA: The victim was treated at Hoboken University Medical Center for possible contamination from the feces, reports said. Her attacker also visited the hospital after she complained to police that she was having an anxiety attack.

So one goes to the hospital for being shiatfaced, and the other goes to the hospital for throwing a shiatfit.
2013-09-19 05:39:00 AM  
Well, you never know until you try.
2013-09-19 05:44:46 AM  
She must have weighed the odds of being able to get out of the ticket against the odds that throwing poo would brighten the internet's day. It's truly uplifting to hear about someone as selfless as her. I'll urge everyone I meet today to scoop one for the team.

/Or: I thought this sort of thing only happened in the Politics tab
2013-09-19 05:50:25 AM  
But did the fecal matter hit the rotary propulsion unit?
2013-09-19 05:51:18 AM  
I am pretty sure both have the same chance of success.
2013-09-19 06:01:09 AM  
I knew parking offical work was really the shiats, but I had no ide it literally was.
2013-09-19 06:01:34 AM  
Trevor should be able to throw his shiat in GTA 5. Also jerk off at chick cops, if there were any. But who take women cops seriously? No one, that's who.
2013-09-19 06:15:21 AM  
It seems to work for monkeys.
2013-09-19 06:19:32 AM  
s17.postimg.orgView Full Size

When it gets dark I tow your heart awaaaaaay
2013-09-19 06:32:56 AM  
What a nutty story. Corny as well....

2013-09-19 06:37:12 AM  
Oh come now - this is a traditional form of communication among primates. People are so quick to forget their roots these days.
2013-09-19 06:48:15 AM  
So you're saying there's a chance...?
2013-09-19 06:48:30 AM  
I used to work at a federal agency in which one of the women would store her feces in a bucket and throw it out the window at passing tourists.   She was finally caught once the USDA cameras filmed it.  Thanks to the federal firing process it took a year and half to get rid of her.
2013-09-19 06:53:27 AM  
Before I RTFA, I thought it was her own feces. But no, it was just some dog (ostensibly) poop off the street. I mean, if you're not going to put in serious effort, then why bother? If she had squeezed out her own poop right there, the meter maid would have seen her sincerity and let her off with a warning. With it still warm, how could she doubt the seriousness of the situation? This is what's wrong with America today.
2013-09-19 07:00:16 AM  
Tell them they're not really cops. They like that.
2013-09-19 07:01:48 AM  

EvilEgg: I am pretty sure both have the same chance of success.

Well, technically, since reasoning has a zero percent chance and you could accidentally KILL them with the fecal throw, it does actually increase your chance of no ticket.
2013-09-19 07:05:28 AM  
This is why monkeys get so many parking tickets.
2013-09-19 07:11:24 AM  

jeffowl: There is no reasoning with parking droids

So much this.
2013-09-19 07:32:53 AM  
Sure, now you tell me
2013-09-19 07:35:52 AM  
if you're going to play the Latino card at least stick the person with a knife. live the stereotype.
2013-09-19 07:41:28 AM  
I don't know, feces gives your request a personal touch that makes it just that much more compelling.
2013-09-19 07:42:44 AM  
Sincerely pleading your case to a parking officer may get you out of a ticket.

No. No it won't.

Me: Sorry, I got held up in line. I know the meter expired but it was just two minutes ago.
Parking Cop: I already started writing the ticket, I have it issue it now.
Me: *looks at ticket* Um, there's nothing on it.
PC: *draws mark on ticket* Now there is.

CSB2: I was installing a camera system at a hotel in downtown Norfolk. The closest avaliable parking was two blocks away. I had abut 150 lbs of tools and equipment and lots of boxes. So I parked on the street so I could at least off load the equipment. I parked in front of a private parking lot. The back of my van  went about 3 feet in front of the parking lot entrance, but six feet of it was blocked by orange construction barrels. I had literally just dumped my crap on the sidewalk and closed the side door when a plains clothes undercover parking enforcer screechs to a halt in a pickup, jumps out, pulls out a badge hanging around his neck like he just left the set of Bad Boys II and runs up to me:

PC: I am giving you a ticket for illegal parking!
Me: I was just offloading my equipment, I havn't even left the van here.
PC: Doesn't matter. You are illegally parked.
Me: I'll move the van right now.
PC: NO SIR! You will NOT! You may move the van AFTER I issue the citation or I will have you arrested for obstruction.
Me: What exactly is the problem with me parking here for 5 minutes to offload my gear?
PC: You are blocking this private parking lot.
Me: How do you figure? I am only taking up 3 feet of the space. There is at least 20 more feet of entrance ramp. There is more then enough room to get a car in there, and there is another entrance/exit not 40 feet that way. The space isnt' blocked at all!
PC: Sir, don't argue with me. You have blocked it.
Me: Well not really. Because these traffic barrels where already here. It would have been blocked anyway.
Me: Illeg...what?
PC: I am going to have to confisicate and dispose of these barrels for blocking this lot.
*PC starts grabbing barrels and tossing them in the back of his pickup whislt smirking at me*
Me: Knock yourself out. They arn't mine.
PC: No sir. Not any more.
Me: Maybe you arn't understanding this. I didn't put those barrels there. I am not trying to pull a fast one. I sure as hell didn't put those 100 other construction barrels all up and down this street where they are, in fact, doing construction, just so I could sneak in here and park for 5 minutes. Those barrels you are 'confiscating' most likely belong to the city. The same city you work for. You are stealing from yourself.
PC: I will not tolerate illegal parking or illegal barrels.
Me: Sure. Why not? But I only parked here because those barrels where already there.
PC: Well they arn't there now, are they? And you are now obstructing this parking lot. *starts writing ticket*.
PC: You have 15 minutes to move this van or I am having it towed. Don't let me catch you parking here again.
Me: *Snaps to attention, renders salute* "jawohl, Sturmbannführer!"
PC: Oh, you think you're farking funny?
Me: Yes?
PC: Well we'll see how funny it is when I have your van towed and scrapped. Be here when I get back, and we'll see then.

Later on I noticed he had the plate wrong by one letter on the ticket. I considered not paying it, but I didn't know if the city would say "Well we know what he *ment* to put, so we are doubling the fine and suspending your license (or whatever they do if you don't pay) so I paid it anyway. Besides, that guy was out for me. I've never seen someone so pissed about 'illegal' parking that had a resonable excuse.
2013-09-19 08:26:32 AM  
Came back to my car once to see a ticket. My slip had 20 minutes left before it expired. Pissed, I wrote a check and put 'chicken shiat ticket' in huge angry letters on memo line (after ticket reference number), circled my time left on parking slip, and ripped the ticket into confetti. Shoved all in handy provided envelope and dropped it off at courthouse A week later, I received a check from the city refunding the ticket cost, a copy of ticket and my parking slip, and a short letter of apology.

Victory was mine!
2013-09-19 08:55:45 AM  

Girion47: I used to work at a federal agency in which one of the women would store her feces in a bucket and throw it out the window at passing tourists.   She was finally caught once the USDA cameras filmed it.  Thanks to the federal firing process it took a year and half to get rid of her.

Tell us more...
2013-09-19 09:33:13 AM  
You were targeted for being Latina.

You through poop because you're Latina.

/Yeah, I can't back that up, but it is so awesome racist that I felt an obligation to post it.
2013-09-19 09:52:20 AM  
dammit.  I farked up twice there.

You weren't targeted for being Latina.

You threw poop because you're Latina.

/Yeah.  I blew that because I'm too stupid.
2013-09-19 09:53:39 AM  
Pleading your case won't work so you may as well.
2013-09-19 10:29:02 AM  

Bslim: I don't know, feces gives your request a personal touch that makes it just that much more compelling.

Only if it's your own feces. Random dog poop just doesn't have as personal a touch.
2013-09-19 11:40:25 AM  
Think of how mad you'd have to be to throw your own poop at someone.  Mad enough to pause the argument, put your hand down the back of your pants, cup your palm, strain, release, pull the poop-filled cupped palm out of your pants (likely smearing the interior of your pants with feces), articulate your wrist awkwardly around so that you can get the poop-hand into throwing position, and launch the poop.  What happens then? You have a poop-covered hand, poop-covered pants, and the police are coming.  How are you going to deny that you threw poop when you're covered in it?  Would an arrest even matter for a person so enraged as to do this?

This person needs to be committed.
2013-09-19 03:06:34 PM  
You can't spell Hoboken without hobo.
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