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(Phoenix New Times)   Sorry about that whole bloody-diarrhea thing. How about a free burrito?   ( blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, E. coli O157, e. coli outbreak, diarrhea  
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10670 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Sep 2013 at 3:29 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-09-12 03:49:52 PM  
6 votes:
Is this the burrito or the diarrhea?

federicosmexicanfood.comView Full Size

Trick question! It's both!
2013-09-12 03:34:49 PM  
5 votes:
eatmedaily.comView Full Size
2013-09-12 03:52:36 PM  
4 votes:
Lord. do I have to do everything here?

"I got food poisoning from a Chipotle restaurant burrito once. I remember sitting on the toilet,
gripping tight onto the seat so I wouldn't fly off from the sheer jet propulsion. Screaming
as brown cider slime erupted from my leather cheerio, offering prayers to any god or being willing
to grant me surcease or the cold final embrace of death itself. Eventually, I slipped into madness
as endless volleys of greenish viscous horror unleashed from my bowels, blasting like a hellish condemned
freight train through my excruciating tiny butt-gate. I recall with each fresh explosion of agonized
Lovecraftian goo, fresh from my flaming ass-portal I would scream "CHIPOTLEEEEEE!!!" in a tone that
was an unholy mix of mortal fear, humiliation and a deep accusatory boom.
You know, I don't even remember why I told this story. What were we talking about again?"
2013-09-12 04:05:29 PM  
3 votes:
img5.joyreactor.comView Full Size
2013-09-12 02:07:46 PM  
3 votes:
Sorry, Making Runs For The Border cannot be used as your new slogan.`
2013-09-12 04:56:09 PM  
2 votes:
That restaurant location voluntarily closed but will be serving free burritos for Mexican Independence Day, which is on Monday.

Yeah. Because what says American like bloody explosive power dumps in honor of Mexico.

If I want to celebrate Mexican Independence, I'll go down to Nogo and haggle a hooker down to half her price. A real woman hooker too.
2013-09-12 03:55:40 PM  
2 votes:
Eat half the burrito and stuff the other half up your tooter like a tampon.
2013-09-12 03:45:02 PM  
2 votes:
There was something in the air that night
That didn't sit quite right, Federico
2013-09-12 03:38:33 PM  
2 votes:
cdn.firstwefeast.comView Full Size
2013-09-12 03:33:10 PM  
2 votes:
2013-09-12 03:12:35 PM  
2 votes:
The only thing that disturbs me about this article is that it reminded me that I actually own a copy of  Talking Dirty With The Queen of Clean.

She's the woman featured in the ad.  Sadly the book wasn't the erotic bombshell I was hoping for but rather offered advice on how to remove stains with common household materials.  Actually it came in handy later but I don't want to talk about it.
2013-09-12 06:13:46 PM  
1 vote:
Come for our famous #2 Combo!
2013-09-12 05:06:36 PM  
1 vote:

Yeah. Because what says American like bloody explosive power dumps in honor of Mexico.

Uh...kind of...

img.photobucket.comView Full Size

/oh POWER...not POWDER
2013-09-12 03:56:43 PM  
1 vote:
i1.ytimg.comView Full Size
2013-09-12 03:49:42 PM  
1 vote:
I call it my "butt period"
2013-09-12 03:41:43 PM  
1 vote:
Sorry about that whole bloody-diarrhea thing. How about a free burrito?
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2013-09-12 03:40:55 PM  
1 vote:
+1 for the asinine tag
2013-09-12 03:39:34 PM  
1 vote:
So they're going to compensate victims with more bloody-diarrhea?
2013-09-12 03:31:36 PM  
1 vote:
Shiat yeah!
2013-09-12 03:31:35 PM  
1 vote:
Fool me twice, shame on me.
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