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Hasan chopped, man at Home Depot successfully locates a ho, and Victoria's Secret models giving out handjobs: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/25 - 8/31
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-09-03 3:50:57 PM (12 comments) | Permalink

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4497 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Sep 2013 at 4:01 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Getting this out today, since yesterday was a holiday. Cheers!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-08-25 to Sat 2013-08-31:

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  Leaks in Fukushima No. 1 radioactive water tank attributed to blown seals. Yet another fetish that ends badly for all concerned  

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  Listening to their favorite music makes teens drive badly, according to terrified researchers covered in tread marks  

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  Introducing the Megaburgerpizza, which is either a new Japanese fast food invention or a SyFy original movie  

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  "Married with children" is on the decline, as the U.S. Census Bureau has made so Al Bundyntly clear  

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  Hasan chopped  

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  Inmate dies in prison after decades-long fight. WHERE THE HELL WERE THE GUARDS?  

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  Man goes into Home Depot shed looking for a ho and finds one  

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  California wildfires prompts unhealthy air warnings in Nevada. Air quality now rated between "casino" and "brothel"  

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  San Diego mayor waves goodbye. With his hand this time  

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  Obama asks Congress to include strikes on Syria in their next attempt to repeal Obamacare  

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  You're supposed to put the lime in the coconut, not the coke in the lime, you nut  


Sports:

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  The Bills sign Matt Leinart. On purpose  

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  Sprinklers go off during 4th inning of Colorado Rockies' game, giving Coors Field an even closer resemblance to its namesake  

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  Jesus walks  


Geek:

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  Babies remember words heard before birth. OH MY GOD  

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  Researchers performed first non-invasive brain-to-brain interface. In totally unrelated news: Victoria's Secret model inexplicably begins giving out hand-jobs at MIT  

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  Article: Why do poisonous caterpillars jump? In other news, THERE ARE POISONOUS CATERPILLARS THAT JUMP  


Entertainment:

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  Lindsay Lohan tells Oprah that she gave cocaine 10 to 15 tries then decided she'd be better off without it. Ironically, that's the same way Hollywood now looks at Lindsay  

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  Chris Brown beats nightclub charges  

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  How Macklemore is like Martin Luther King. Man, I remember MLK's "I Got a Great Deal On This Suit" speech  


Politics:

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  Old man yells at cloud  

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  Washington DC will bid on the 2024 Olympics. Plans include lighting the Olympic flame only after an 11th hour House resolution to pay the gas bill for the cauldron  

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  Judge: U.S. can't deny benefits to lesbian war vet's wife. In other news, there's been a lesbian war  


Business:

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  George Lucas invests $10 million in Starbucks. So this is how the evil Empire begins  

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  After restructuring, Chiquita's earnings are no longer slipping  

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  Health inspectors close second Family Dollar store for rat infestation. In other news, Family Dollar will be adding a Pet Department
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12 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2013-09-03 04:14:47 PM  
I don't get the Hasan Chopped headline.
 
2013-09-03 04:21:08 PM  

TripSixes: I don't get the Hasan Chopped headline.


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Disapproves
 
2013-09-03 04:28:02 PM  
TripSixes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lo-VFP9jyYc">http://www.youtube.com/w atch?v=lo-VFP9jyYc
 
2013-09-03 04:31:30 PM  

robertus: TripSixes: I don't get the Hasan Chopped headline.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 300x225]
Disapproves


I like Freling and McKimson better, but that is one the best Chuck Jones things he ever did.  Chuck was the good stuff coontil he went to MGM).
 
2013-09-03 05:23:02 PM  
More:hand jobs

LOLWUT?
 
2013-09-03 05:26:22 PM  
Hey has anyone answered Trips question yet?  Here ya go:

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When the going gets rough, he's super tough, with a Hong Kong Phooey Chop!
 
2013-09-03 05:42:00 PM  
Wow. My second time getting a HOTW. Both times for sports.
 
2013-09-03 05:55:00 PM  

Cybernetic: Wow. My second time getting a HOTW. Both times for sports.


Which one?  (seems like subbys only hang out here)
 
2013-09-03 07:33:24 PM  
GUILD WARS 2 ECONOMY UNRAVELS!

Felicia Day Unavailable for Comment!
 
2013-09-03 07:49:25 PM  
Heh ... Hasan chopped was mine.

/I'll take what I can get
 
2013-09-03 08:10:14 PM  
Cybernetic Wow. My second time getting a HOTW. Both times for sports.

Congrats! I got in under 'Business' this week-but confidentially, doc, the bigger rush is HOTY
 
2013-09-04 01:19:08 PM  

FlyingJ: Cybernetic Wow. My second time getting a HOTW. Both times for sports.

Congrats! I got in under 'Business' this week-but confidentially, doc, the bigger rush is HOTY


I got my first non-self-promoting green this week, and it's a HOTW as well.  Must have rolled a nat 20.

It wasn't even that original, but I'm surprised nobody beat me to it (the lime in the coconut one).
 
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