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(NPR)   Area man starts fake newspaper to sell pizza coupons. Happy 25th anniversary to The Onion, America's finest news source   ( npr.org) divider line
    More: Spiffy, Area Man, Renee Montagne, pizza coupons  
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7871 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Aug 2013 at 8:39 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2013-08-29 10:05:40 AM  

SmackLT: Sorry, but this thread lacks some Smoove B

I agree.

Corn will be served.
2013-08-29 10:08:00 AM  
Saved this one from the print version years ago:

"PBS to air more of that Yanni shiat."
2013-08-29 10:14:53 AM  

paulseta: Fano: FlashHarry: very first onion headline i saw, back in madison in about 1990: AREA COCKROACH farkING HUGE

one of the first i remember was the area zookeeper attacked raped by bear

17 seconds! Amazing...

/ sorry about the formatting of my previous post, it had paragraphs when I pasted it...

Nice! i hadn't seen that one in years, i remembered it being over the top shocking back then. Thanks for posting the whole thing
2013-08-29 10:16:29 AM  
I Think I'll Drive The Kids Up To The State Park To See This 'Glory Hole'

How did I hear about the Glory Hole? Well, when I took Skipper to get his nails clipped, I overheard one of the groomers talking about it to Don, who had his poodle in for a shampoo. The groomer said the Glory Hole was "mind-blowing," and Don said he was definitely going to check it out. When I asked them about it, they clammed up. They always seem to be clued-in to the newest restaurants and art museums, so I'll bet they wanted to keep the Glory Hole a secret. Well, for once, the McTaggerts are in the know!
2013-08-29 10:18:35 AM  
2013-08-29 10:21:34 AM  

Repo Man: Study: Children Of Divorce Twice As Likely To Write Bad Poetry

"The Purple Lake of Desolation" is comedy gold.
2013-08-29 10:26:12 AM  

wingnut396: czei: SoupJohnB: I discovered "The Onion" during the Bush/Gore/Florida "Recount" crisis, when they showed foreign troops landing in D.C. in an effort to stabilize our government.  This was at work, and other cubicle dwellers started 'prairie dogging' when I laughed the way I did.


prarie doggingThe act of a turd poking its top out of ones anus repeatedly"Dude, pull the car over I gotta shiat, I'm prarie dogging here"

Can also refer to cubicle workers popping their heads about the cube to see whats is going on.

Thank you.
2013-08-29 10:27:34 AM  
Forget the exact title,

Miami construction workers find out they built the new marlins stadium.
2013-08-29 10:29:05 AM  
"No one murdered because of this image" gets my nod as favorite ,if nothing else for the "holy shiat, they went there" factor (NSFW, btw).
2013-08-29 10:31:52 AM  
2013-08-29 10:41:48 AM  
2013-08-29 10:42:01 AM  

Perlin Noise: Rabid Badger Beaver Weasel: One of the most accurate tech stories they've ever done. (NSFW)

that is by far my favorite video by them.

Funny, but I still submit that mine beats it. It doesn't have to be Sony. It can be true of almost any big tech company. (Lately, Microsoft)
2013-08-29 10:42:18 AM  
God Answers Prayers of Dying Little Boy
"No," God says.
2013-08-29 10:44:33 AM  
2013-08-29 10:51:45 AM  

SmackLT: Sorry, but this thread lacks some Smoove B

Damn I miss Smoove B. And the one you linked is one of my favorites.

"It is then that I will hit you doggy-style."
2013-08-29 10:56:28 AM  
2013-08-29 10:57:47 AM  
This is my favorite article-free headline.
2013-08-29 11:20:44 AM  
i238.photobucket.comView Full Size

o.onionstatic.comView Full Size
2013-08-29 11:22:58 AM  

Fano: FlashHarry: very first onion headline i saw, back in madison in about 1990: AREA COCKROACH farkING HUGE

one of the first i remember was the area zookeeper attacked raped by bear

early headlines i remember:

Area Bassist Fellated
Area Bowl Cashed
New Soap to Cleanse Filthy Irish
(with helpful Irish Spring infographic)
2013-08-29 11:29:49 AM  
Half-remembered from the print version: "Sting: 'Yeah, I Used to be Cool'"
2013-08-29 11:40:48 AM  

Thaddeus Mutton: This is my favorite article-free headline.

my favorite article-free...
2013-08-29 11:41:29 AM  
These are great. I don't know why, but I've always been partial to "Nation's Dentists Can't Make Teeth Any Damn Whiter."
2013-08-29 11:46:38 AM  
2013-08-29 11:57:10 AM  

theknuckler_33: [o.onionstatic.com image 90x120]

R.I.P. H-Dog

Mourn ya til I join ya.

/accounts payabo represent!
2013-08-29 11:57:58 AM  
I discovered The Onion the summer between 6th and 7th grade, and liked it so much it became my Fark and email handle.
2013-08-29 12:15:48 PM  
Their Holy farking shiat Attack on America (9/11) articles were (are) fantastic. I remember my first visit to the website after the towers fell, and wondering how could someone possibly cover those events with any sort of satire. The Onion delivered.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/god-angrily-clarifies-dont-kill-rul e, 222/


http://www.theonion.com/articles/we-must-retaliate-with-blind-rage-v s- we-must-retal,11537/
2013-08-29 12:17:00 PM  
2013-08-29 12:18:09 PM  
They did a great job with all their post-9/11 stuff. I remember the weird sense of relief from chuckling at "Holy F*cking shiat!"
2013-08-29 12:24:40 PM  
Also, this one was particularly relevant at the time it came out, as my girlfriend was studying abroad that semester.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/european-men-are-so-much-more-roman ti c-than-americ,11552/
2013-08-29 12:28:36 PM  
humanistsforlabour.typepad.comView Full Size
2013-08-29 12:28:59 PM  
My fave article was from 1997 about Taco Bell introducing a new morning-after burrito, the Contraceptimelt. It had this diagram about what the 7 layers do. I think the purpose of the lettuce was to scrape the uterine lining. :)
2013-08-29 12:29:17 PM  

dickfreckle: And of course:

*shakes tiny fist*
2013-08-29 12:30:03 PM  

Rapmaster2000: [qph.is.quoracdn.net image 400x400]

My all time favorite. I have a print of it taped to my office door.
2013-08-29 12:30:47 PM  
My personal favorite (headline only):

Jackie Chan Attacked While Holding World's Most Expensive Cake
2013-08-29 12:51:53 PM  

dickfreckle: And of course:


That's my fav of all time
2013-08-29 12:52:03 PM  
My favorite (from 2001, from just right after Bush took office):

Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'
2013-08-29 01:03:37 PM  
2013-08-29 01:07:16 PM  
2013-08-29 01:08:50 PM  
2013-08-29 01:08:53 PM  

Rabid Badger Beaver Weasel: One of the most accurate tech stories they've ever done. (NSFW)

That one is my absolute favorite. I always laugh at the "and being god damn ass backward as fark" line
2013-08-29 01:21:33 PM  
One of my favorite sidebars: "Your Kids: Are They Sexy Enough?"

Fave article include:

"Lilith Fair Concertgoers Experience Largest Mass Ovulation"

"Mothership Accidentally Descends on Hootie Concert"

and the aforementioned "American Girls are Soooo Easy"
2013-08-29 01:22:27 PM  
2013-08-29 01:24:27 PM  
And no love for The Cruise, by Jim Anchower? One of my favorite columns.
2013-08-29 01:29:21 PM  
2013-08-29 01:32:52 PM  
This is going back a little but it's always been my favorite:  http://www.theonion.com/articles/nations-experts-give-up,682/
2013-08-29 01:33:37 PM  
I dunno why, but this one made me laugh more than any other article:

Bo Obama Recieves Visiting Dognitaries from Furuguay.

/I also loved Our Dumb World
2013-08-29 01:34:29 PM  

theorellior: And no love for The Cruise, by Jim Anchower? One of my favorite columns.

Jim Anchower is some funny shiat. I used to always read that column back in my university days. I don't know how many times my friends and I were working late in a computer lab trying to get an assignment done and instead of working on it and getting to leave at a reasonable time we would take massive breaks to read archived Jim Anchower articles.
2013-08-29 01:41:44 PM  
2013-08-29 01:57:23 PM  
And i still cant find the article about Pakistan ready tap their mountains for a fireball, but wary of india's two untapped islands.

Also remember the day of 'oh shiat, the onion went color'
2013-08-29 02:33:05 PM  
Really, no one posted this yet?
Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cawk?
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