If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Opposing Views)   Parents are outraged that their elementary school kids are learning about something that'll consume their lives in about two years   ( opposingviews.com) divider line
    More: Stupid, elementary school kids, Wisconsin, elementary schools, suicides  
•       •       •

19734 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Aug 2013 at 1:28 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-08-25 01:53:55 PM  
4 votes:
I masturbate at a 4th grade level.
2013-08-25 01:40:32 PM  
4 votes:
Teaching third grade students about masturbation, suicide and other sensitive topics

i105.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-08-25 01:52:09 PM  
3 votes:

Talondel: spman: serial_crusher: spman: Teaching third graders about suicide? Fine, I could see that as being a potential issue they may have to deal with

What kind of horrible childhood did you have?

I think for sex and drugs it's about getting the brainwashing in early.  You're impressionable enough at that age that a police officer coming to your school telling you drugs are bad makes a difference that lasts.

/ My school did DARE in 5th grade.  I knew of a couple kids experimenting with pot in 6th.

In the sense that even children deal with depression, and are aware of the concept of death and the permanence of it, I could see suicide being an issue children might deal with. On the other hand, unless you live in an abusive household with absent or neglectful parents, no normal kids under the age of maybe 12 is dealing with sex and drugs, and by the time they do, fifth grade is going to be nothing but a fleeting memory.

It is not unusual, and certainly not abnormal, for children to masturbate in kindergarten or early elementary school.

Yet when I masturbate in the elementary school, I get arrested and thrown in jail.  Nice double standard.
2013-08-25 03:35:38 PM  
2 votes:

Just another Heartland Weirdass: Csb believe it or not. I had a trunk full of fith when I was 9. This was the early 80s heartland

N o farking playboy shiat Hustlers, cherri, private swank all the way

I jacked it to all of em and on the reg. O showed em to the chicks on classes and seached thier faces for any hint of excitement or intrigue. I showed to the boys too told this is hoe a man farks a woman, not that mary jane rotten crotch you been shelling out for.

A bunch of us got together and called every farking number in the backpages in order so as not to miss one..I personally told some lady how my cock would punish her butthole before she cleaned me up and thanked me for my savagery. I jack it and jacked and jacked it. I was stealing booze and putting it down. Wild Turkey, jd etc. I packed a shiatty butterfly knife and a good ka bar. I could shoot. Not well but I was in go mode. Some of my older friends had much more lucrative scams and better drugs. I tried coke and other stimulants. The town new it, and they kept their distance. This was before I was 10 years old,in hays Kansas. I was a moderate kid. My brother thou gh....

t0.gstatic.comView Full Size
2013-08-25 03:05:05 PM  
2 votes:
I don't necessarily have a problem with the policy, but I do wonder how out-of-sync you have to be with your own body for any kind of spankulation instruction to be helpful.

/Never too late to be immature csb: every time my wife asks me to macerate fruit (ie. coat them with sugar/wine/etc prior to dessert-making), I love to make her eye-roll by substituting "masturbate" in subsequent follow-up.  "Which fruit did you want me to masturbate?  How long does it have to stay in the fridge to be fully masturbated?" etc.
2013-08-25 01:49:01 PM  
2 votes:
If you masturbate, while cutting oxygen to yourself, you get an amazing high at climax, kids.
2013-08-25 05:22:05 PM  
1 vote:

Thurston Howell: /Never too late to be immature csb: every time my wife asks me to macerate fruit (ie. coat them with sugar/wine/etc prior to dessert-making), I love to make her eye-roll by substituting "masturbate" in subsequent follow-up.  "Which fruit did you want me to masturbate?  How long does it have to stay in the fridge to be fully masturbated?" etc.

I'm glad I'm not the only person who's immature enough to do that. Well, mostly I go eat some and tell her I thought she wanted me to masticate it after I made the masturbate joke in front of my mother-in-law out of habit.
2013-08-25 04:34:52 PM  
1 vote:
You can never be too prepared for masturbation. Should be teaching it in the womb, before the little shiats turn into humans.
2013-08-25 03:40:55 PM  
1 vote:
haolegirl:Lmao, I'm gonna guess he's about 12 or so...

Bingo. We were at a friend of ours house when her 12 year old son was showering. He had been in there about 20 minutes and she hopped up and said "I hope he's ok, I'm going to check on him". She came back red-faced with her jaw hanging and said "I ummm... He was... umm... He's ok". I almost pissed myself laughing.

It's amazing that some parents live in denial that their kid is growing up and figuring shiat out.
2013-08-25 03:15:12 PM  
1 vote:

StoPPeRmobile: God and all your dead friends and relatives are watching you masturbate.

Hope they enjoy the show, but it's mostly reruns.
2013-08-25 03:02:48 PM  
1 vote:

haolegirl: , nobody knows what menstrual cramps feels like except a woman...

behance.vo.llnwd.netView Full Size
2013-08-25 03:01:14 PM  
1 vote:

huchipapa: I was not ready for that conversation/thought process/exposure for another oh 6 years or so.

i.imgur.comView Full Size

18? You thought it wasn't going to come up until she's 18?
2013-08-25 02:28:54 PM  
1 vote:

rkiller1: So they're gonna teach third grade girls masturbation?  Isn't that a felony?

Apparently the State is invoking the right of Prima Nocta.
2013-08-25 02:10:37 PM  
1 vote:
Here in Georgia, Uncle Steve teaches us about masterbation.
2013-08-25 01:48:48 PM  
1 vote:
How else will predatory teachers be able to pick out the vulnerable so that they can rape the kids?
2013-08-25 01:45:40 PM  
1 vote:
At least they wait until middle school to teach them about flogging, rimming and edging.
2013-08-25 01:37:41 PM  
1 vote:
The handbook says that students will "be encouraged to talk to parents in order to help them develop their own values and beliefs about masturbation."

2013-08-25 01:36:07 PM  
1 vote:
We should really stick to this system we got goin, where we treat kids like little fragile angels who cant stand hearing about societal issues or learning about the good bad and the ugly about our country and culture. As far as I can tell, thats been working out great so far.
2013-08-25 01:33:57 PM  
1 vote:
2013-08-25 12:23:27 PM  
1 vote:
They spelled California wrong.
Displayed 20 of 20 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.