If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Cancer.org)   Stage 4 liver cancer that spread is beginning to spread to bones. Suggestions and experiences for my friend please. His illness is not brought on by drinking or smoking. So sad   ( cancer.org) divider line
    More: Scary, liver cancers, cirrhosis, lymph nodes, survival rate, illness, smoking, drinks, experiences  
•       •       •

283 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 25 Aug 2013 at 11:11 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-08-25 08:41:25 AM  
3 votes:

ginandbacon: Morphine and good hospice care. Sorry for your friend,  Subby.

No, opiates cap out.  Get him to a state with medical marijuana; it will reduce his opiate need and nausea from chemotherapy.

It'll also keep him closer to how you remember him in the end stages.  Nobody wants to be remembered as a sleepy idiot in a hospital gown with tubes all over.
2013-08-25 03:18:36 PM  
2 votes:
My FIL passed away last year and I was not super impressed with the family members who decided that since travel is expensive, they would make it out for the funeral but not the bedside hand-holding in hospice.  I would gently (like with a big stick or something) remind all of your friend's loved ones that if they're strapped for cash and only going to travel once, it's way more important to visit with the guy while he lives and breathes than to make it to the funeral.
2013-08-25 11:54:41 AM  
2 votes:
Sadly, I've had recent experience with loved ones and cancer.  My takeaway was that the simplest, and most fun things you can do is give them a tour of tastes and textures.  Food id a big farking deal and when someone reaches that stage their tastes change dramatically.  Give him the widest range of flavors imaginable and he'll discover new things that give him pleasure.
2013-08-25 11:04:14 AM  
2 votes:
I'm with the fark you all, get the drugs that work legally or illegally. Not really worried about addiction at this point.

Make a bucket list. Do as many as you can.

Party a lot.

Hook up with old friends and relatives.

Make some recordings of whatever - can he sing? Dance? Tell stories? Just reminisce? :)

Get his friends and relatives to talk about the good times, too.
2013-08-25 09:36:04 AM  
2 votes:
I'm so sorry subs. My dad had the same thing. Liver cancer. Stage 4 at diagnosis. They tried to shrink the largest of his tumors (on his spine) with radiation and it didn't help at all. In fact, he seemed a bit worse for wear after that. The chemo/radiation probably isn't going to help your friend at his point and will likely make him decline faster. Pain management and hospice care are the most important things for your friend at this time. The morphine (plus a metric asston of methadone) each day really did make a difference for my dad. They kept him out of pain. He was diagnosed in June and died in September.

Seeing someone you love die of cancer is just brutal and I wouldn't wish it on anybody. I hope you've got some emotional support because you're going to need it. EIP if you have questions or need some internet hugs.
2013-08-25 09:52:58 PM  
1 vote:
My sympathy to you Subby.  My mom died 2 weeks ago from lung cancer.  Cancer sucks hard.

Aside from the advice others said, see to it that he has his estate in order while he still has a mind for things.  If he has family, make sure they know his wishes regarding end of life care: resuscitation, intubation, feed tube.  Sign up for hospice, and see what the options are for home care/cancer support/in facility.  Get his bills itemized (credit cards, mortgage, insurances), so you have an idea for afterwards.  Even things like passwords to online accounts and e-mail should be written down or known by family - ditto for social security number (for funeral home).  Go over his wishes for after his passing: what sort of memorial service (religious, what church/whatever), what songs to be played at the service, even things like what he wants to be buried in.  His family will be overwhelmed by the amount of minutia to deal with.  If he has possessions he wants others to have, and if it doesn't interfere with probate, have him give while alive - again, not sure of the legality of this, so check with a lawyer.  Oh yeah, if he has a will or anything, check with a lawyer before passing for general advice on bills.

If he is doing home care, get the non-emergency numbers for either ambulance service or fire department - if there is a fall at home and he can't get up/assistants can't get him up.  Peapod or other grocery delivery services are good.  Some small, local pharmacies will deliver to homes.  Some scripts are not carried by major chains (liquid morphine and liquid ativan in my mom's case), so find out the local medical supply or specialty pharmacies - again, these guys will often deliver.  Think about what you will need for homecare: shower chair, diapers/butt cream/baby wipes/rubber gloves, a basin for washing up in bed.  Let me repeat: rubber gloves!  Oh my lord, rubber gloves (get the nitrile or vinyl, not latex imo).

If he has pets, make sure they are cared for, and know if there are special requirements for them - if the cat is hyperthyroid and requires meds daily, for instance.

Let him cry/get angry/vent fears - it's ok and normal.  If he must make peace with anyone, do it now because you don't know when it will be.  Have people visit, and if they can't, have them phone.  Talk to him, have visitors talk to him.  Even when it gets towards the end, still talk and remember the good times.  They still hear you, even when they are unconscious (I know my mom heard things, because once in a while she would raise an eyebrow after someone said something, like she acknowledged what was said).  Also, let others help you, since you as a friend are losing someone too.  When he passes, don't be upset or surprised if he goes when the room empties for a moment - it's uncanny how they seem to wait for people to step out, even briefly.

Again, my sympathy goes to you and your friend.
2013-08-25 06:13:24 PM  
1 vote:
Give your friend a joint, go watch a sunset or sunrise, and just chat.
/had a good friend die from cancer like that. He didn't smoke, rarely drank, and was a marathon runner.
Make sure your friend share some good times with family. :)
Sucks, but dying is a part of life. We all do it.
2013-08-25 01:55:28 PM  
1 vote:
Google Phoenix Tears. Apparently cannabis oil high in CBDs has shown some promise against certain types of cancer. What have you got to lose?

Here's the story of one Stage 4 liver patient who is surviving so far: http://www.chrisbeatcancer.com/ed-crushing-stage-four-liver-cancer-wi t h-cannabis-oil/
2013-08-25 01:29:25 PM  
1 vote:
Enjoy your time you have left with him. Cherish what you have.

Tell him to party like it's 1999, as well. Once liver cancer mets like that, there's no hope of long term survival.
2013-08-25 09:49:16 AM  
1 vote:

ginandbacon: Morphine and good hospice care. Sorry for your friend,  Subby.

This.  Hospice isn't where anyone WANTS to wind up, but I've seen it first hand, they are truly angels of mercy.  It's sad when the doctors basically shrug their shoulders and tell them to go home and await death, but sometimes that's all there is to do.  My brother in law's father passed last year after his cancer (which started as skin cancer) spread to, well everything.  Somebody who totally wasn't me may have supplied him with a certain plant material, which really helped him maintain at least some weight, but at that stage, you really need hospice level painkillers.

Sorry about your friend, I don't think there's anyone on Fark who hasn't watched someone go through the nastiness that is cancer.  Just lost a family friend a few weeks ago, and my daughter's "pa paw" is getting a bone marrow transplant next week.  Fark cancer.
2013-08-25 08:04:21 AM  
1 vote:

ginandbacon: Well that sucks. What can you do for people in end stage liver cancer? Is there any palliative care that works?

 Once they are admitted to hospice there most likely will not be an autopsy.  You're free to invent your own methods of pain control and possibly euthanasia at that point.  Me personally?  I would be taking up a heroin habit.  Easy to get and quite effective.
2013-08-25 06:59:48 AM  
1 vote:
Morphine and good hospice care. Sorry for your friend,  Subby.
2013-08-25 06:58:18 AM  
1 vote:

Staffist: Charter a jet and take him on a trip to the places he's always wanted to see.

And make sure he pays via credit card.  In fact, I'd start maxing out credit cards and taking out loans now!
2013-08-25 05:40:44 AM  
1 vote:

sithon: Metastisis to the bones? Not good. It means the cancer is seating all over his body. chemo and radiation therapy is all I can think of that might help.

Once it's in the liver and bones it will probably be in the lymph as well.  Screw chemo, just live happy for as long as possible.
Displayed 14 of 14 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.