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(Bleacher Report)   All right, Fark. I needs some help. Fantasy football team names. GO   ( divider line
    More: Advice, macklemore, Dennis Pitta, Nick Foles, LenDale White, IDP, Shonn Greene, Anquan Boldin, redemption  
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235 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 09 Aug 2013 at 8:45 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

70 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
2013-08-09 07:59:52 AM  
Previous names were Hoof Hearted and Herschel Walker Texas Ranger. I was pretty proud of those.
2013-08-09 08:06:37 AM  
People who wish they were LARPers?
2013-08-09 08:16:01 AM  
Most of my league over the last couple years went with references to The League: The Vinegar Stroke,s Vaginal Hubris, etc.
2013-08-09 08:16:44 AM  
God's Vagina
2013-08-09 08:25:44 AM  
My couch pulls out, but I don't.
Often wrong; never unsure.
Jerry Sandusky's prison fanclub.
2013-08-09 08:29:22 AM  
The pocket rockets.
2013-08-09 08:33:05 AM  
Jurevicius Bunch of Bastards
2013-08-09 08:33:21 AM  
Sophia Viagra.
2013-08-09 08:37:35 AM  
Masturbate and Tackle
2013-08-09 08:42:42 AM  
Felonious Monks
2013-08-09 08:53:05 AM  
Political inspiration:
Unindicted Co-Conspirators
Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy
Gang of Eleven

Pop Culture
Walter Whites
Bisexual Vampires
Bieber's Monkeys
The Fighting Kardashians
2013-08-09 09:13:02 AM  
Soccer Stars
X-trerme(amount of victory)
2013-08-09 09:14:35 AM  
the Burgundy Rob Burgundies.
2013-08-09 09:16:27 AM  
I still like Fear Boner

t.qkme.meView Full Size
2013-08-09 09:16:37 AM  
Ectopic Pregnancy
2013-08-09 09:19:37 AM  
The Silly Nannies
2013-08-09 09:37:16 AM  
Hernandez' Hitmen
2013-08-09 09:39:05 AM  
The Gritty Ureters
2013-08-09 09:47:44 AM  
I'm thinking something along the lines of "OJ Simpson's Did It"
2013-08-09 09:51:27 AM  
Cecil's by the sea shorts

mc2saintbarth.comView Full Size
2013-08-09 09:54:36 AM  
Team Priapism
2013-08-09 10:02:06 AM  
Off In Church (because no one wants to beat Off In Church)

Flacco Seagulls
2013-08-09 10:11:39 AM  
Back when I lived in Sayreville, NJ my team name was the "Sayreville Palsys".

I'm going to hell.
2013-08-09 10:19:57 AM  
Ministry of Silly Walks
Department of Arguments
moose bites Kan be pretty nasti
Brave Brave Sir Robin
Huge... tracks of land
People's Front of Judea
2013-08-09 10:22:23 AM  
Peter Northenders
2013-08-09 10:24:15 AM  
Keyser Söze's Minions
Klaatu Barada Nikto-nauts
Too Blave to Fail Castle Stormers
2013-08-09 10:27:15 AM  

scottydoesntknow: Hernandez' Hitmen

Ha! That is my team name in one of my leagues.
2013-08-09 10:32:26 AM  
Caffeinated Purse Dogs.
2013-08-09 10:49:03 AM  
My team this year is the Cooper Clux Clan, but only because I couldn't get Hernandez's Housekeepers to fit.
2013-08-09 10:50:59 AM  
The Ravening Ravens (although I'm an Eagles fan).
Is on like Ndamukong (stolen from a Matthew Berry column).
2013-08-09 10:55:45 AM  

Current Resident: Off In Church (because no one wants to beat Off In Church)

This works really well in Yahoo leagues since they implemented the automated weekly recap.
The recap headline is set to "Team A beats Team B" or in this case would be: "Current Resident beats Off in Church"
Good times. Last year I was
A Dead Horse
Red Headed Stepchild
Midgets Furiously
but mostly things similar to "Off in Church"

Yes, by the way, I lost a lot last year. 3rd most points but always played a team scoring it's highest point total against me for some reason.
2013-08-09 10:58:27 AM  
Redcoat Texans
2013-08-09 10:58:38 AM  
I chose Lustful Cockmonsters last year, in honor of Chris Kluwe.
2013-08-09 10:59:35 AM  

kronicfeld: I chose Lustful Cockmonsters last year, in honor of Chris Kluwe.

Well played.
2013-08-09 11:08:43 AM  

Nana's Vibrator: Yes, by the way, I lost a lot last year. 3rd most points but always played a team scoring it's highest point total against me for some reason.

That's exactly what happened to me. Didn't matter if I scored 160 points, it would be the one week where the worst team in the league ended up having a fantastic week and getting 165 points.
2013-08-09 11:11:18 AM  
It's not current, but you can't go wrong with "Brett Favre's Dick"
2013-08-09 11:22:22 AM  
The FIghting Amish
2013-08-09 11:29:46 AM  

Current Resident: Off In Church (because no one wants to beat Off In Church)

Flacco Seagulls

theworldsbestever.s3.amazonaws.comView Full Size

Still the greatest headline to ever see print.
2013-08-09 11:37:10 AM  

WhiskeySticks: It's not current, but you can't go wrong with "Brett Favre's Dick"

Brett Favre disagrees.
2013-08-09 11:49:37 AM  
I've been going with the 'Ham Wallets' lately, but Ditka's Spitka is always a good one.
2013-08-09 12:00:14 PM  
How about The San Francisco Bottoms?
2013-08-09 12:12:33 PM  
Furious George Livingston Seagull
2013-08-09 12:34:34 PM  
Fourth and Wrong
2013-08-09 12:37:16 PM  
A Jewish friend went w/ Red Sea Pedestrians

I suggest "The Concussed".
2013-08-09 01:05:13 PM  
Fantasy Football is for Tools
2013-08-09 01:36:39 PM  
Rainbow Unicorns
Jew Smelldat
Frank Stallone
Dread Pirate Westley
Grabthar's Hammer

This year
Seminole Fluid
2013-08-09 02:02:51 PM  

NASAM: Fantasy Football is for Tools

That's not a very good team name at all.  In fact, most websites limit the amount of characters in your team name and you're not allowed those 30 characters including spaces.
2013-08-09 02:14:55 PM  
Last year I was Reign in Booze. I usually switch it up but I'm feeling lazy this year.
2013-08-09 02:54:36 PM  
2013-08-09 03:00:46 PM  
Last Season: Knights Who Say Knee
2013-08-09 03:11:17 PM  
Wrecked 'Em Ralphs
2013-08-09 03:26:27 PM  
Bipolar Barbie
Camel Toe Jam
Moose Knuckle Sandwich
Tijuana Donkey Show
2013-08-09 04:01:00 PM  
Old Skool would be Unpaid Bills or Burninators (with an avatar stolen for UAB Flamers.....),
Mean Machine is you want to be beyond obvious....

Weiner's Willies or Pelosi's Nook
Clowncar of Desire
Cincinnati Bengals' Legal Team
Ammurika's Steam
Insert Name Here
2013-08-09 04:01:54 PM  
In our Game of Thrones themed league: The Blackwater Bay Bucs (last year), Hodor's Thesaurus (this year)

In our Simpsons themed league- Ogdenville Wildcats (ly), Ralph's Wookiees (ty)

For unthemed leagues: AClowneyQuestionBro, CleverTeamName, San Fran Ferries, AllBarkeviousNoBite, Cheese on the Cobb, D-Bowe's D-Bags, Gronk Droids
2013-08-09 04:24:24 PM  
Most of my friends and I always named our fantasy football (and hockey) teams using actual cities or countries, like a real football league normally would, but trying to come up with the worst/best puns imaginable for them, whether or not they were sports-related.  Some of the better ones I still can remember:

Boston Massacre (keep in mind, this was long before the Marathon bombing)
Los Angeles Riot
Toulouse Cannons
Djibouti Call
Alberta Moose
Juneau Watts (it helps to say this one out loud)
Minsk Meatpies
2013-08-09 05:21:54 PM  
My team name is Trayvon's Martini.
2013-08-09 05:23:58 PM  
Someone in my league had A Flock of Smeagols as a team name last year.
2013-08-09 06:25:53 PM  
Hot Cabbage Fart
Filthy Trout Sniffer
Trashcan Giner
2013-08-09 07:16:45 PM  
The Master Baiters
2013-08-09 07:18:41 PM  
Smeg's Ma
2013-08-09 07:38:03 PM  
Helen Keller's Seeing Eye Dogs
Lootie's Booty Call
Jack Mehoff's One-handed Applause
Rusty Gaited Community Service
FARK's Sperm Bank
2013-08-09 07:54:53 PM  
Two years ago: Casey Anthony Daycare
One year ago: Aurora The Crowd
This year: Sanford Neighborhood Watch (subject to change)

The Battle of RG Knee
Dwayne Bowe Connection
Romosexual Tendencies
Riley Cooper's Concert
Killer Hernandez
Innegan's Wake
Delhomme Free
2013-08-09 09:04:12 PM  
Ass Grabbers
2013-08-09 10:11:26 PM  
Royal Society of Ancient Flatulence

Adrian Peter's Son

The Other Manning Kid

Rancid Polecats
2013-08-09 11:12:27 PM  
Soylent Green Beans
2013-08-10 12:55:46 AM  
Butt Stallions.
2013-08-10 02:25:50 AM  
The N Words
2013-08-10 07:44:46 AM  
My Little Bronys

2013-08-10 09:30:55 AM  
The Really Real IRA
2013-08-10 02:16:03 PM  
Riley Cooper's sensitivity coach
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