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(BBC)   If you were the first human to set foot on Mars, what would you say?   ( bbc.co.uk) divider line
    More: Interesting, first human, Roman mythology, artificial gravity, Imperial College London  
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3539 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2013 at 12:47 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

379 Comments     (+0 »)
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2013-07-26 01:14:21 PM  
So, this family walks in to a talent agents office.
The agent looks at them as asks "Ok, so what do you do?"
2013-07-26 01:14:29 PM  
"Science.  It works, biatches."

2013-07-26 01:14:45 PM  

Circusdog320: Yatahai

i105.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-07-26 01:14:57 PM  
"Why did I bother coming here? It's just a big red desert."
2013-07-26 01:15:02 PM  
Rand's lacy underwear: "Let sleeping dogs lie."

I wish someone would remaster it using modern rendering techniques and hardware.

// yeah, the original models were lost but people have recreated passable models for game mods.
2013-07-26 01:15:58 PM  
"Hold on a second guys! One of the lights is making a shadow on the backdrop"
2013-07-26 01:16:17 PM  
Probably "Oh shiat! I'm farked"
2013-07-26 01:16:25 PM  
"C'mon man, who dropped ass"
2013-07-26 01:16:33 PM  
"That's one stall smep for a...

Aw crap.

Can I have another take, Mr. Spielberg?"
2013-07-26 01:17:06 PM  
"Weeeeee'rrree OFF to see the WIZARD!"

/hopefully not obscure
2013-07-26 01:17:17 PM  
Wait...  This isn't Chicago!  What flight did I get on?
2013-07-26 01:17:33 PM  
klaatu barada nikto
2013-07-26 01:18:03 PM  
Actually, what I'd say is:

"Don't fark up.  Don't fark up. Don't fark up."

And then I would fark up.
2013-07-26 01:18:26 PM  
"Thanks Obama!"
2013-07-26 01:18:49 PM  
"See you at the party, Richter!"
2013-07-26 01:19:05 PM  
Illuminati of Earth, I have the artifact. Initiate extraction.
2013-07-26 01:19:26 PM  
Attention Martians;

Testicles. That is all.
2013-07-26 01:19:37 PM  
Depends.  Can I say what I really want, or are the PR hacks going to write it for me?
2013-07-26 01:19:39 PM  

Ed Grubermann: "Up yours, TechnoBevets! Now, let's 3D print some hot babeliens!"

You're a complete nutcase. You're imbuing a dead deadly rock with magical properties.
2013-07-26 01:20:19 PM  
"Camera three is making my shadow look weird....Can someone get that boom mike lifted?"
2013-07-26 01:20:25 PM  
" Holy shiat Marvin.. No farking BEER ? Really? No wonder you're so angry, this place sucks! "
2013-07-26 01:20:48 PM  

stuffy: klaatu barada nikto

2013-07-26 01:21:04 PM  

The Aristocrats.
2013-07-26 01:21:38 PM  
Take me to your lizard!
2013-07-26 01:21:56 PM  
All hail Groppet the first emperor of Mars, protector of Demios, King of Phobos first man to scale Olympus mons.

Or "This is way better than the moon landing set."

But nothing tacky.
2013-07-26 01:22:23 PM  
2013-07-26 01:22:26 PM  

Wodan11: Depends.  Can I say what I really want, or are the PR hacks going to write it for me?

Realistically you can probably say whatever you want.

If you make it home from Mars you are a hero for life and they wouldn't dare attempt to punish you.

If you don't make it, who gives a crap.

I wouldn't say anything to totally ruin the moment (like swearing so kids can't hear the event), but a joke seems OK after a LONG time in a little metal box.
2013-07-26 01:23:52 PM  
// EIP"

//it gets lonely out there
2013-07-26 01:24:22 PM  
cyberpunkreview.comView Full Size
2013-07-26 01:24:38 PM  
Look sir.  Droids!
2013-07-26 01:24:41 PM  
Your mom's box
2013-07-26 01:24:41 PM  
2013-07-26 01:24:42 PM  
Don't shoot!  Don't shoot!  I am not armed! We come in peace!
2013-07-26 01:25:19 PM  
2013-07-26 01:25:35 PM  
Protip, Never fart in a spacesuit.
2013-07-26 01:25:36 PM  
'Merica, fark yeah!
2013-07-26 01:25:47 PM  
Here Rover!  Here Rover!  (Followed by whistles)
2013-07-26 01:25:56 PM  
Holy crap, lift off, 6 month space flight, safe landing. Hey NASA you can you believe we actually pulled this shiat off.
2013-07-26 01:27:29 PM  
I would be saying "Ack, cough, gag, ack!"

2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2013-07-26 01:27:35 PM  
I release this dove as a symbol... holy hell did you see that thing pop?!?!

As God as my witness, I swear I thought doves could fly on Mars!!
2013-07-26 01:28:46 PM  


win win win
2013-07-26 01:28:56 PM  
King Sh*t of F*ck Island over here, copy.
2013-07-26 01:29:02 PM  
Hey all you homeboys out there in the Bronx, this one's for you.

2013-07-26 01:29:12 PM  
"Looks like we landed right on top of one of our hard-working rovers and smashed it flat"
2013-07-26 01:29:24 PM  

naughtyrev: Wookie_Jesus: Ack! Ack!

[i.imgur.com image 462x251]

I believe that it is pronounced "Nyack!  Nyack!"
2013-07-26 01:31:04 PM  
This space suit makes me feel like a tough, brute man. I can't wait for our first shore leave so I can get me some f*ckin' poontang.
2013-07-26 01:31:54 PM  

praxcelis: "Weeeeee'rrree OFF to see the WIZARD!"

/hopefully not obscure

4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

Get the hell out.
2013-07-26 01:32:47 PM  
What the...how the fark did I get here???
2013-07-26 01:33:09 PM  
We come in peace. Say, is there any livestock here?
2013-07-26 01:33:49 PM  
"Two weeks!"
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