CrazyCracka420: As an expecting parent of our first child I'm going to go with the Native American approach and not going to encourage the baby to cry (by not responding to the crying). First time it starts crying it's going to be hung up on a tree out back for 30 minutes (obviously exaggerating, but I will do my best not to respond to crying, as to not encourage it).Will pay plenty of attention to the child, but will not be a helicopter parent. I will teach them to be aware of their surroundings and will not be driving them everywhere. They can walk to the bus stop and home without my supervision. If we live close enough to the school, they can walk to the school and back without needing me to supervise or give them a ride to/from school.I will not overfeed my child, I will do my best to feed them non-processed foods. I will encourage them to be active physically as well as mentally. I will not indoctrinate them with religion, I will allow them to be a child.
CrazyCracka420: As an expecting parent of our first child I'm going to go with the Native American approach and not going to encourage the baby to cry (by not responding to the crying). First time it starts crying it's going to be hung up on a tree out back for 30 minutes (obviously exaggerating, but I will do my best not to respond to crying, as to not encourage it).
markfara: The My Little Pony Killer: Actually, if your child is acting up in public, then there *is* a second step after Calm the fark Down.And a third, and a fourth, etc.
profplump: What do you do with adults that just can't snap out of their selfishness?Here's a hint -- it's not "hit them".
dustygrimp: Being so about yourself that you ignore the basic drive to propagate the species or have life beyond your own is narcissistic
profplump: Burr: It's almost like different children might have completely different personalities and may require differing parenting styles!Adults are different and might have completely different personalities and may require completely different management styles. But none of those styles are allowed to including hitting, even for adults subject to reduced freedom or mental capacity. In fact we'd be particularly upset if we found that patients confined in a psychiatric facility were being hit to modify their behavior. Why it hitting acceptable for children?
whizbangthedirtfarmer: I was absolutely stunned at the competitiveness a lot of moms had with one another about their kids. I was a stay-at-home dad for the first year or so my son was around, and I ended up in the mom club. Maybe it was the devastating boredom of raising a baby, but damn, they went after each other."My child already learned his first letters" (he's 1)"Oh, my little boy learned his last week!"
RassilonsExWife: Tell her about the hormones. And how they rip your mind to shredsDear sweet Jesus! I didn't think girls got bat-shiat insane till puberty. How wrong I was!
RassilonsExWife: CrazyCracka420: As an expecting parent of our first child I'm going to go with the Native American approach and not going to encourage the baby to cry (by not responding to the crying). First time it starts crying it's going to be hung up on a tree out back for 30 minutes (obviously exaggerating, but I will do my best not to respond to crying, as to not encourage it).(wiping eyes) Heh. You're so adorable when you're being naïve.More seriously... Good for you for thinking ahead. And try your best. But please be aware of two things (because I had the same plan as you):1) It will all go straight to raging fark about 3/4 of the time. There is nothing is your previous existence that will prepare you for what's coming. All experts are full of shiat and so are any expectations you have of what this experience is going to be like. I promise. So any plans you might have made based on those expectations will make you laugh out loud in about a year.2) That being so, be careful. Try to follow your plan. It's a good plan (except for letting the baby cry). But understand that very little will go according to plan. Forget the trolls on here implying that the author is saying "let your kids run wild". They're morons. It is the reactions (and over-reactions) of well-meaning people with parenting plans who find the plans are going all to fark that the author is warning against.When your best intentions go straight to hell, calm the fark down.I can't always remember to calm down when my kid is freaking me out - but when I can, almost everything gets better.Good luck, fellow traveler. You're going to need it. But the best part of your life is about to begin (okay.. the worst at times... but mostly the best)
IdBeCrazyIf: cowgirl toffee: IdBeCrazyIf: cowgirl toffee: ...It's me, should it really surprise you that much?
cowgirl toffee: IdBeCrazyIf: cowgirl toffee: Typical loving family...[img9.imageshack.us image 602x440]I have the weirdest boner right nowO_o
Grumpy Cat: It's also weird because her father left her mother while her mother was 8 months pregnant with her. (Sorry about all the pronouns.) The patterns I see in this family are amazing.
meat0918: Just follow through, and they (generally) stop.
CrazyCracka420: gopher321: Made the decision not to have any kids so you can do whatever you want in your life? Calm the f*ck down....Oh wait. I'm already calm.Keep telling yourself it was a voluntary decision, you need a willing sexual partner to get a woman pregnant.
Smelly Pirate Hooker: I look forward to a lengthy, rancorous discussion filled with snotty comments about helicopter parents, snowflakes, crotch droppings, breast feeding, etc./my first green, if I'm not mistaken//Thanks, Fark, and Huffington Post
meat0918: //All bets are off if the kid is tired or hungry. In that case, get them home as quickly as possible.
Krieghund: If only there was some kind of medication that could help with that...
The My Little Pony Killer: Actually, if your child is acting up in public, then there *is* a second step after Calm the fark Down.
Diogenes: If you allow your kids to cruise TFD threads I would seriously have to question your parenting style.
If you like these links, you'll love
More Farking, less working
Sign up for the Fark NotNewsletter!
Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.
When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.
Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.
You need to create an account to submit links or post comments.
Click here to submit a link.
Also on Fark
Submit a Link »
Copyright © 1999 - 2018 Fark, Inc | Last updated: Jun 22 2018 15:54:18
Runtime: 0.398 sec (398 ms)