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(Slate)   Candy Crush saga is the worst thing ever   ( slate.com) divider line
    More: Obvious  
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23063 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jul 2013 at 4:00 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-07-07 04:25:09 PM  
7 votes:
It's totally cool, guys. The stripper told me she can't TELL me we'll get busy in the Champagne Room, but, she totally winked at me and said "once we're in there who *knows* what will happen?" Oh, here comes the bouncer back with my Visa.
2013-07-07 04:09:23 PM  
4 votes:

Popcorn Johnny: Just downloaded it after seeing this article. Fun little game.

You say this after you have just downloaded it. For now, yes, it is in fact a fun little game. But slowly... slowly this happens:

wanderlustkid.comView Full Size

And the evil begins to embrace you. Slowly at first, oh so slowly, but the tricks and plots and schemes eventually pile up, and being stuck soon gives way to being trapped, until one day you spend days, weeks, nay even months on the same level, being driven


2013-07-07 04:03:02 PM  
4 votes:
I guess you can play games on Facebook now.. neat.
2013-07-07 05:28:15 PM  
2 votes:
The only way to win ... is not to pay.
2013-07-07 04:37:15 PM  
2 votes:
This candy based game addiction of mine started when I was a child...

img69.imageshack.usView Full Size
2013-07-07 04:05:22 PM  
2 votes:
June needs to stay the hell away from Vegas.
2013-07-07 09:29:12 PM  
1 vote:

skozlaw: Dafatone: Is the problem that they're selling skins, or just that skins are "useless"?

The skins add nothing to the game that interests me and I fail to see why I should do business with a company that works on things that don't interest me.

Is this really that hard for you to understand? That I wouldn't want to purchase products from a company that is making products I don't care for? Does that confuse you so terribly?

So because Hanes also makes bras you won't buy boxers from them? I mean that's your right I guess but it's an odd position to take.
2013-07-07 06:38:49 PM  
1 vote:
i1.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
2013-07-07 06:19:54 PM  
1 vote:

hawcian: Or, to put it another way: I don't give a flying fark about what you play; I do have a problem with encouraging consumer-unfriendly practices.

It's worse.  Candy Crush is a "proof of concept" of wide-scale mind-control.  Advertising and Mososos drag people in, microtransactions and play limitations activate cognitive dissonance, and the result is a shiatty, limited version of bejeweled is MORE SUCCESSFUL than bejeweled.  It's a massive (and massively profitable) experiment in social psychology and it's proving we're the mindless drones we keep pretending not to be.

shiat, we're throwing tantrums over NSA spying and overbearing government authoritarianism, but there is NOTHING they do that we don't do a million times worse to ourselves on facebook and friendster and myspace.
2013-07-07 06:16:40 PM  
1 vote:

Moonfisher: [media.avclub.com image 627x352]

Riker just got a 5-match combo.

Damn Google Glass.
2013-07-07 05:25:29 PM  
1 vote:

Gosling: Penny Arcade put forward the theory that this is, in fact, the revival of the arcade. Play an assortment of quick games for a short time each, there are high scores to beat (and who even does high scores anymore on the console titles?), and if you want to play more, well, put your coin down.

I back the theory that consoles manufacturers see this as the primary goal, essentially making gamers pay based on time spent rather than outright ownership of the game.   It's a matter of taking the market - accepted baby steps required towards such a thing (and yes, dlc certainly is one of those steps).

Allowing you to buy a $60 game that might offer thousands of hours of gameplay is probably viewed as a monetary loss, from some twisted angle.
2013-07-07 05:06:06 PM  
1 vote:
media.avclub.comView Full Size

Riker just got a 5-match combo.

I've managed to get to level 133 thus far without spending a dime.  You just have to play when it's convenient and not give in to their adverts.  You'll get a winnable board eventually.
2013-07-07 04:58:54 PM  
1 vote:
i.qkme.meView Full Size
2013-07-07 04:57:25 PM  
1 vote:
I thought Wreck-It Ralph was wonderful.
2013-07-07 04:38:35 PM  
1 vote:
img12.imageshack.usView Full Size

There is help.
2013-07-07 04:33:25 PM  
1 vote:
img199.imageshack.usView Full Size
2013-07-07 04:31:37 PM  
1 vote:
I emailed the article to the shubs just now who plays Candy Crush horseshiat...I said..hey did you get that article I just sent you? He says: no I'm playing Candy Crush Saga...
2013-07-07 04:29:34 PM  
1 vote:

LeroyBourne: Never played it.  I heard the only way to get past certain levels is you have to pay, and doesn't fly with me.  Plus I have like 4 games of words with friends going so that takes up plenty of time.

you can either pay or bug your friends and make them hate you.
2013-07-07 04:28:58 PM  
1 vote:
I've spent $21, repeatedly drained my phone battery, and blown a deadline for the first time in years-all so I could play a game for which I have absolutely no aptitude. I've been tapping away atCandy Crush Saga on the subway (like half of New York), in front of the television, and, yes, in the bathroom for countless hours, and despite all that expense and devotion, I'm stuck at Level 38.

If you've spent $21 and are only on level 38, you suck.
2013-07-07 04:28:44 PM  
1 vote:

Shostie: It's Bejeweled meets Tetris, a veritable speedball of a puzzle game.

No. It's just Bejeweled.

But you get to pay money to buy more lives.  So it's Bejeweled meets Carny games.  There's a sucker born every minute.
2013-07-07 04:14:13 PM  
1 vote:

Shostie: It's Bejeweled meets Tetris, a veritable speedball of a puzzle game.

No. It's just Bejeweled.

THIS. Holy shiat, I cannot believe people get suckered into Candy Crush. Bejeweled is the bane of my existence as I have purchased it on three phones, one iPod, and through Steam, and yet I have probably still spent less money that the idiot who wrote that. I feel stupider having read that article.

Give your money to Popcap. They're a GOOD, respectable game company, and they will use it to create more awesome games. Pass this knowledge on to your friends and family, and if they refuse to listen, I'll help you hide the body.
2013-07-07 03:40:27 PM  
1 vote:
It's Bejeweled meets Tetris, a veritable speedball of a puzzle game.

No. It's just Bejeweled.
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