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(Scotus Blog)   The Supreme Court will make history today. Well..might make history. Well..at least there will be a thread to make Scalia jokes today. (Decisions at 10am Eastern)   ( scotusblog.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, supreme courts, history  
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4107 clicks; posted to Politics » on 24 Jun 2013 at 8:25 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-06-24 10:48:09 AM  
3 votes:

Rincewind53: JerseyTim: Lazy asses work an hour and 45 minutes a day.

You know that they have to do a lot more than just show up in court, right?

I don't count hair and makeup preparation as work.
2013-06-24 08:44:01 AM  
3 votes:
A lady goes to the vet.  He looks behind her but doesn't see a pet.  "It's about my husband, Anton Scalia... He refuses to eat anything but dog food."  She hands him an empty dog food can.  The doc reads the label.
"Hmm.  Meat, barley, meat by-products... It's not ideal, but it shouldn't hurt him."
A few months later, the vet encounters Mrs. Scalia in line at the grocery store.  He sees that she isn't buying any dog food.
"Is Justice Scalia feeling better now?"
"No, he's dead."
"Dead?  But surely it wasn't the dog food that killed him."
"No, he was licking his balls in the driveway, and I backed over him in the station wagon."
2013-06-24 10:59:33 AM  
2 votes:
But what about Earth v. Zoidberg? I want to know if we can string up that flag-eating lobster!
2013-06-24 09:11:48 AM  
2 votes:
Scalia and a duck walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig."

Scalia says, "That's not a pig, that's a duck."

He says, "I was talking to the duck."
2013-06-24 08:35:12 AM  
2 votes:
I had my Scalia removed when I was a kid, and got to eat ice cream for a week.
2013-06-24 08:26:59 AM  
2 votes:
SCOTUS will uphold DOMA and declare gays to be 3/5 people.
2013-06-24 11:57:17 AM  
1 vote:

MyRandomName: Always amazes me How liberals ask the USSC to defer to Congress in all aspects... except for DOMA. That was your primary reasoning for ACA. At least try to be slightly consistent.

It always amazes me that you think the voices in your head represent actual liberals.  SCOTUS is a check on Congress' power - nobody should expect or desire complete deference from the highest court in the land.  If Congress passed an unconstitutional law, I expect SCOTUS to strike it down in some fashion; if Congress passed a constitutional law, I expect SCOTUS to leave it alone.
2013-06-24 11:19:12 AM  
1 vote:
You're getting Scalia in my Santorum!
2013-06-24 10:36:33 AM  
1 vote:
Great.  Now I don't have any excuse for not doing work.
2013-06-24 10:32:50 AM  
1 vote:
This is more drawn out than Return of the King.
2013-06-24 10:28:12 AM  
1 vote:
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.netView Full Size
2013-06-24 10:24:25 AM  
1 vote:
Dylan Matthews  @dylanmatt
This is like the SCOTUS equivalent of the Sopranos finale.
2013-06-24 10:19:43 AM  
1 vote:
Conservatives' opinions are like assholes. Every conservative has one, and most of 'em smell like Scalia.
2013-06-24 10:16:46 AM  
1 vote:
Here I sit, just had to pee-a,
But paid my dime to take a Scalia.
2013-06-24 10:11:57 AM  
1 vote:
How can you tell your gay neighbor is a conservative?
- His dick tastes like Scalia!
2013-06-24 10:09:11 AM  
1 vote:
Private! How tall are you?
- Sir! Five nine sir!
I didn't know you could stack Scalia that high!
2013-06-24 10:05:33 AM  
1 vote:
Why doesn't Scalia like the rodeo?
- People keep shoveling him.
2013-06-24 10:00:13 AM  
1 vote:
We all tuned to CNN for the most accurate reporting on the outcome?
2013-06-24 09:38:07 AM  
1 vote:
2013-06-24 09:33:35 AM  
1 vote:
Scalia calls home to his wife, and says, "I'm gonna be out with John all night, don't wait up." Scalia's wife hangs up the phone, turns to the guy next to her in bed and says, "It's all right, John, he says he's with you."
2013-06-24 09:20:11 AM  
1 vote:
Scalia, Thomas and Alito walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
2013-06-24 08:45:37 AM  
1 vote:
...so I say "Do you love me?" and she says "No! But that's a really nice Scalia!"
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