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(Metro)   To pun, or not to pun, that is the pun. By the way, this post is about puns   ( metro.co.uk) divider line
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4557 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jun 2013 at 9:26 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2013-06-23 12:00:55 PM  
2013-06-23 12:16:48 PM  
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2013-06-23 12:34:38 PM  
I like a couple physics puns.

A photon signs in for the night at a hotel.  The person behind the counter asks if he can get the photon's bags.  The photon replies "No, I've traveling light."

The dark band in the middle of a double rainbow is called Alexander's Dark Band, as opposed to Alexander's Ragtime Band.
2013-06-23 12:35:59 PM  
My penis is 12 inches long, but I don't use it as a rule.
2013-06-23 12:38:43 PM  
A good pun is its own reword.
2013-06-23 12:40:42 PM  
What foods these morsels be?
2013-06-23 12:49:28 PM  
Not puns, but funny.  Right up there with Fry & Laurie's hardware sketch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9RbYkwj8Wc">https://www.youtube.com /watch?v=d9RbYkwj8Wc
2013-06-23 01:11:08 PM  
I guess I was drunk and not paying attention. I was counting the slits between the boards while walking out on the Santa Monica pier. I fell right off the end and into the ocean. I should have known that"when your out of slits, your out of pier".
2013-06-23 01:16:38 PM  
You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think.
Psychologists pull habits out of rats.
2013-06-23 01:46:36 PM  

porkloin: My wife and I were in a kayak in Monterey Bay.  We had pulled up next to the volunteer guard who was telling us about the various birds that had shown up that morning.  We noticed another couple paddling rather frantically in our direction.  These folks seemed very excited and crashed into our boats.

The woman in the craft exclaims, "Oh my God!  There is a dead sea lion over there!" as she points toward the shore.

The guard fellow calmy replies, "I doubt it is dead.  It is probably just sleeping.  Did you poke it with your oar?"

The woman says, "No, we didn't poke it!  But do sea lions sleep like that?  It looked like it is dead!"

I looked out across the bay and the fog, the waves sofly rolling, the gulls.  Smelling the salt air.  I looked at the frantic woman and said, "Ma'am, haven't you ever heard of a Sealy Posturepedic?"

Later we paddled away from this unlikely situation in the middle of Monterey Bay and I thought to myself, "Gees, I could live a hundred more years, and never have the opportunity to use that pun again."

That would probably be for the best.
2013-06-23 03:02:30 PM  
Use a pun, go to hell.
2013-06-23 04:22:07 PM  
The following pun was published in another article about puns. It was made by Richard Whately, Archbishop of Dublin (Church of Ireland):

Why can a man never starve in the Great Desert? Because he can eat the sand which is there. But what brought the sandwiches there? Why, Noah sent Ham, and his descendants mustered and bred.
2013-06-23 04:43:00 PM  
Somebody page nesler, I hear he loves puns.
2013-06-23 11:59:14 PM  
Kleptomaniacs take things literally.
2013-06-24 06:53:57 AM  
Puns are bad and you should feel bad
2013-06-24 03:42:06 PM  
2013-06-24 03:54:43 PM  
One day in music class, a young guitarist asked the teacher why they haven't moved on to more progressive rock. Shifting his glance to the drummer, he forlornly replied that the Beatles will continue until Morales improves.
2013-06-24 08:26:23 PM  
I'm a software engineer.  It was either that or become a boatbuilder.  The choice of careers was clear, however, when I discovered that my barque was worse than my byte,
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