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(Daily Mail)   Girl writes letter explaining in painful detail why she is dumping her boyfriend   ( dailymail.co.uk) divider line
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20519 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jun 2013 at 9:47 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-06-22 11:52:35 PM  
6 votes:
I do not believe that there is a man who wears leather pants, calls his cockatoo his baby, and has too many pictures of Michael Phelps junk-- & THIS SAME MAN---wears sweat pants to a funeral, likes predator 2, wears airbrushed clothing, and enjoys kirk cameron.
CONCLUSION: She is dating identical twins, one of whom is a homosexual and is doing his christian -conservative brother a favor by spending time with his deranged fiancee.
2013-06-22 10:07:22 PM  
4 votes:
Still a better love story than Twilight?
2013-06-23 12:04:23 AM  
2 votes:
Put on something sexy, we're goin to Red Lobster!

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2013-06-22 10:05:55 PM  
2 votes:
So someone dumped the "Get A BRAIN! MORANS" guy?
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2013-06-22 10:03:23 PM  
2 votes:
If she's grossed out by cereal in just water,
she'd die if she saw cereal in sesame milk:

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(pic of some homemade sesame milk, not mine)
2013-06-22 09:19:00 PM  
2 votes:
She sounds viral.  I can't wait to see what product, show or site they are selling.

/I can wait.
2013-06-23 05:17:42 AM  
1 vote:

Arthur Jumbles: some_beer_drinker: i hate to tell you, but he sounds kind of gay...

Gay and in denial due to conservative Christian beliefs.

Marcus and Michelle Bachmann: The Next Generation
2013-06-23 02:48:18 AM  
1 vote:

aerojockey: Ok, I'm totally with her on the "cousint" one.  I tolerate grammar oddities well, and regional variations and such, but stuff like adding a t to cousin would drive me up a wall.

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My ma calls this gemstone Perry-O-Dot.

The primary correct pronounciation is Per-ih-Doe.

The secondary correct pronounciation is Per-ih-Dot, after a town where it was first mined in the US. No blasted REE about it.

Don't argue, I knew professional jewelers. They used the primary pronounciation consistently.

Or else it's chrysolite, an old, seldom used term that is derived from Greek khrusos (gold) + lithos (stone), and a word which almost no one with even a quarter-teaspoon of partly-functional wits could mangle.

I found that one accidentally while looking up the standard name for the stone.

/pedantic cat is pedantic and slightly angry
2013-06-23 12:45:46 AM  
1 vote:

MBK: Why the hell would you date someone like that in the first place?

Because in the beginning they seem normal. That first kiss was sweet and everything you'd hoped it would be. He wasn't what you were looking for, but now you can't imagine your world without him. You begin building dreams around him.

As things progress you notice a few things that annoy you, but hey, nobody's perfect, right? But those minor annoyances don't go away. And he adds new ones. But hey, it's his quirks that make him who he is. And he does have some endearing qualities. The sex is great and his friends and family are accepting.

But the sex becomes routine. Or loses passion. Or just isn't as great anymore. And he's selfish in bed. Or he's too rough with your clit and won't listen when you tell him to ease up. Or he has a foot fetish. And he suggested that maybe your jeans are getting tight. Really? You haven't said shiat about his expanding beer pouch. Let alone the nasty beer burps. Those annoyances and quirks are becoming more like a festering sore that reveal the innermost workings of his mind.

And who knew. He's a sexist, psuedo Christian conservative jerk. Who eats cereal with farking waterl. I mean really who the fark does that?!

And all his endearing qualities just don't outweigh all the shiat he does that gets on your last farking nerve. And besides there are several cute guys who've been giving you the eye. You can do better.

And you make the list. And tell him to kick rocks.

At least that's what I think happened : )
2013-06-23 12:43:12 AM  
1 vote:
"One-too-many posters of Michael Phelps in a speedo"??? What, pray-tell, is the optimum number of such items?
2013-06-23 12:37:46 AM  
1 vote:

spidermilk: Seriously this is so fake.

I could write out 150 weird and annoying things about my SO, but I love him all the same. So if the annoying quirks aren't worth the person you're with, you know, being a good person- then you shouldn't be dating them in the first place.

She isn't dating him, she dumped him, or did you miss that part? Unless the person is someone you've known for a while, these are the kind of things you find out about by dating them.
2013-06-23 12:00:36 AM  
1 vote:
I call BS.  No one's favorite actor is Kirk Cameron.
2013-06-22 11:48:20 PM  
1 vote:
Of course it's fake (unless it was written by an 80-year-old).

Nobody under the age of 40 would bother committing a list like that to actual pen and paper; they forget those things exist after Grade 8.   It would be formulated as an email or a Facebook post instead.

There are no major spelling errors.  That would be a) impossible for today's workforce, unassisted by spell-checking, and b) atypical of ad-hoc notices composed in the heat of the moment by a person suffering the heightened emotions of relationship termination.

/Yes, I have an onion in my belt.  You could have one too, if you weren't standing on my lawn.
2013-06-22 11:29:21 PM  
1 vote:

MrHappyRotter: there's nothing gross about pouring water on cereal

Many years ago, when I was in college and the milk I'd bought had gone bad, I tried Diet Coke on cereal. This did not work at all. Water on cereal would've been an improvement. I never repeated this experiment, and kept a much closer eye on the expiration dates for the milk after that.
2013-06-22 11:17:49 PM  
1 vote:

Virtual Pariah: Can anybody make out the word at the end of the airbrushed clothes line?

The rest of it is cute funny.

"This is a big one"

I guess something had to be.
2013-06-22 10:08:25 PM  
1 vote:

zorlack7: This is greenlit why?

Because it's funny. Just my opinion. I'm kind of warped but apparently some Fark admins share my idea of funny.

On the other hand, let's discuss something about the article. How many images of Michael Phelps in a Speedo do you have stored on your computer? Let's compare? I will count mine. None. How many do you have?

Now, how many images of Kate Upton do I have on my computer? Brazillions. And I enjoy every one of them.
2013-06-22 10:02:56 PM  
1 vote:
img.fark.netView Full Size

I took my biatch to Red Lobster.  Biatches like Red Lobster.
2013-06-22 10:02:55 PM  
1 vote:
It's not that I can't enjoy a completely fake wannabe viral story, but this one is too all over the place and not really funny.

/like the guy who realized the creampie pr0no he just snapped it to was the video of his conception
//the guy who had all of his sensory nerves severed so he could perceive God free from earthly distractions
///like every captioned pic of Robert Downy Jr.
2013-06-22 09:48:10 PM  
1 vote:
I think we've found the President of the International Taylor Swift Fan Club.
2013-06-22 09:06:29 PM  
1 vote:

Arthur Jumbles: some_beer_drinker: i hate to tell you, but he sounds kind of gay...

Gay and in denial due to conservative Christian beliefs.

Yeah, but I'll bet he was polite to her parents and his place was nicely decorated, in a masculine sort of way.
2013-06-22 07:55:23 PM  
1 vote:
That list is longer than things I hated about random roommates in college. That chick needs a better filter or not move in with every guy she farks after closing time.
2013-06-22 07:37:34 PM  
1 vote:
Next time ask him that stuff in advance.
2013-06-22 07:31:20 PM  
1 vote:
i hate to tell you, but he sounds kind of gay...
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