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(Huffington Post)   Cap'n Crunch never rose past the rank of Commander. Still sounds better than Seaman Crunch   ( huffingtonpost.com) divider line
    More: Silly, Cap'n Crunch, liars, Tony the Tiger, commanders  
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4989 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2013 at 10:11 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-06-18 10:18:53 AM  
14 votes:
Crunch had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. He took me to his cabin and he told me his secret. 'I am not Cap'n Crunch' he said. 'My name is Ryan; I inherited the ship from the previous Cap'n Crunch , just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Cap'n Crunch either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Crunch has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.'

Then he explained the name was the important thing for inspiring the necessary desire. You see, no one would eat a cereal called Cap'n Westley. So we sailed ashore, took on an entirely new crew and he stayed aboard for awhile as first mate, all the time calling me Crunch. Once the crew believed, he left the ship and I have been Crunch ever since.
2013-06-18 11:05:57 AM  
4 votes:
pbfcomics.comView Full Size

/Obligatory hotlinked topical PBF comic
2013-06-18 10:14:54 AM  
3 votes:
Seaman Crunch sounds like a condition you really should have a doctor check out.
2013-06-18 09:24:20 AM  
3 votes:
Major Major Major Major feels no sympathy for him.
2013-06-18 11:00:10 AM  
2 votes:
At least we can be safe in knowing that his army namesake is legitimate.

weknowmemes.comView Full Size
2013-06-18 10:52:15 AM  
2 votes:
andrewwheen.comView Full Size
2013-06-18 10:33:02 AM  
2 votes:
Don't worry, there is a promotion in his future :

theinfosphere.orgView Full Size
2013-06-18 06:30:06 PM  
1 vote:

flondrix: DrunkWithImpotence: It was one of the few offices you couldn't buy back then.  Rarely, someone would come from "before the mast" to get promoted up, otherwise, the only way to become a naval officer was to spend some years as a midshipman, learning navigation and ship handling et cetera.  Then you took a test in front of some senior captains.  If they passed you, you weren't an officer but you were at least eligible for promotion.  Next step was to find a captain willing to take you on as a junior Lieutenant.

But could you apprentice to be a Pilot?

Just make sure your nurse hears right when she makes the agreement.  Oh, and check for wording about birthdays.
2013-06-18 04:36:29 PM  
1 vote:
"TIL Captain Crunch isn't..."

img.fark.netView Full Size
2013-06-18 02:34:48 PM  
1 vote:
Who likes Strawberries on their Commander Crunch?
tvworthwatching.comView Full Size
2013-06-18 11:54:53 AM  
1 vote:
Captain Crunch is a real captain. He's a pirate captain. The uniform he is wearing simply doesn't belong to him. And his hat was fifty years out of style by the time he got his first ship.

The cereal aisle is full of scandalous secrets (not counting the 36 different words for sugar on cereal box labels).

Count Chocula is only a Papal Count.

Frankenberry is made with people!

Not only was Boo-Berry unpopular, but the Creature from the Black Lagoon was a complete failure and didn't last a week in the stores. People said it made your milk green and tasty "fishy".

Lucky Charms are not magically delicious. They're basically candy, as is most pre-sweetened cereal.

The Michael Jackson Cereal was recalled because it contained wine and Coca-Cola.

Scooby Snacks can still be purchased, but they were all made in 1973. Some of them are as hard as dog biscuits.

The green dye used in Apple Jacks used to glow in the dark during the 1970s thanks to a deal with the Radium Dial Co. of Delaware.

Cornflakes never lose their crispness or flavor if keep tightly sealed. I had a box that I only used to make chicken breading and it lasted over ten years.

Cornflakes and a meal consisting of milk, juice, fruit, toast, eggs, etc., makes a healthy breakfast. In fact, Cornflakes plus a turkey and the fixings makes a healthy Thanksgiving dinner. Cornflakes plus anything is anything, plus Cornflakes.

When one of my teacher's wife was a schoolgirl in England, the (private) school served Cornflakes for dinner. The English hate children as much as they love their pets.

The Mad Bomber from The Muppet Show had a short-lived cereal that went snap, crackle and ka-boom. The little bombs proved a bit too volatile and are now classified by the US military. (Fun fact: sugar has about the same energy per gram as jet fuel.) At the end of the episode, the Mad Bomber is revealed to be the guest star, Sandra Bullock. Did you think I was talking the other guy, Crazy Harry? He never had a cereal. He did have a movie and used car business in Burbank, California, though.
2013-06-18 11:07:18 AM  
1 vote:

Oldiron_79: Because that sonofabiatch has been spreading lies, my cereal does NOT cut the roof of your mouth.

memepics.comView Full Size
2013-06-18 10:41:14 AM  
1 vote:
Never needed insignia:

toonopedia.comView Full Size

2013-06-18 10:34:32 AM  
1 vote:

padraig: Don't worry, there is a promotion in his future :

No love for Archduke Chocula?
2013-06-18 10:24:24 AM  
1 vote:

Krymson Tyde: Perhaps the cap'n doesn't feel the need to adhere to your preconceived notions of what constitutes a cap'n's uniform.

Perhaps a man with an unlikely tattoo?

xmova.comView Full Size
2013-06-18 10:12:56 AM  
1 vote:
2013-06-18 09:27:12 AM  
1 vote:
I wonder if it was intentional on Futurama's part to have Admiral Crunch only really be a captain?
theinfosphere.orgView Full Size
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