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(C|Net)   NSA chief hints at ISP and email wiretapping. If you haven't curled up into a ball and renounced your religion because there is no god yet, now may be a good time   ( news.cnet.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, ISP, NSA, Julian Sanchez, Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court, Patriot Act, Fort Meade, warrantless wiretapping, Internet Protocol  
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7382 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jun 2013 at 9:30 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-06-13 09:32:14 AM  
11 votes:
img.photobucket.comView Full Size

/this q&d pic is going to get quite a workout before the government [REDACTED BY NSA] me
2013-06-13 10:33:23 AM  
8 votes:

Point02GPA: Every once in a while a 50-60 yo undelivered letter/postcard appears. I wonder what the oldest undelivered email will contain?

25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
2013-06-13 09:05:03 AM  
7 votes:

Walker: Just assume the Feds see everything you do....then start masturbating furiously.

/business as usual then

art.penny-arcade.comView Full Size
2013-06-13 08:26:52 AM  
4 votes:
It's just metadata, so I don't see what the big deal is. I mean, my phone takes pictures with metadata embedded, and all it does is record the time the picture was taken, the exact location, the name of my phone, my name, and... Dear lord...
2013-06-13 10:30:02 AM  
3 votes:
Can't you all see how overblown this is? All of this anger against a program that's saving American lives, just because you're concerned over privacy? Everyone one of you ungrateful sops bellowing about how the NSA is violating the 4th Amendment should be shaking our hand for all of the terrorist attacks we have saved you from using all of this metadata. Would you rather be blown up by suicide bomber?

I can assure you that we're only looking at the information we need to protect you. Sure, along the way we may inadvertently see some unrelated info, like Skleenar's Natalie Portman fanpage or Nekom's love for erotic bonsai. Just because we know that Pants full of macaroni!! once ate 27 Encharitos and threw up on a cop doesn't mean we're violating the constitution. And of course, all of that intel on Nana's Vibrator's "experimental" phase in college and neversubmit's closely guarded Elvis collector's plate collection was key in foiling 9/11 2 (which would have been far worse than regular 9/11, trust me.)

This is very important work that you just wouldn't understand. Even though we stumbled upon  Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich's frankly frightening browser history or unlikely's LiveJournal of Scooby Doo/Species crossover fanfiction, not to mention Drew's collection of vegetarian chili recipes (the white vegan chili is to DIE for), you have nothing to worry about. Your privacy is our biggest concern.

I promise.
2013-06-13 09:36:51 AM  
3 votes:

doglover: I've just always assumed the Feds read ALL my emails.

I HOPE they are reading my Aunt's emails.

FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW Pratyer request! Please send this request to all your friends and family!

FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW  Missing girl have you seen this girl?

FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW: Obamacare is coming read these 5 tricks the Liberals don't want you to know!
2013-06-13 09:25:30 AM  
3 votes:

James!: I bet they're also watching you poop.  You better freak out.

They'll freak out, I had Taco Hell last night.
2013-06-13 08:36:51 AM  
3 votes:
Just assume the Feds see everything you do....then start masturbating furiously.

/business as usual then
2013-06-13 08:17:58 AM  
3 votes:
It's for the children, citizen, don't you care about all the children this will save?

/we know what's best for you
//you can trust us
2013-06-13 10:59:24 AM  
2 votes:

Slappajo: the government is your God.  Or wants to be.


s3.amazonaws.comView Full Size
2013-06-13 10:28:22 AM  
2 votes:
I just did a GIS. How is there not a "Ceiling Obama is watching you masturbate" pic yet? How is that even possible that not one person has put that out there?
2013-06-13 09:48:11 AM  
2 votes:
Looks like this guy's been reading all the V1agra and P3nis Enlargement spam I've been getting and sending off for the product.

And using it.

And applying twice as much as recommended.

asset2.cbsistatic.comView Full Size
2013-06-13 09:39:29 AM  
2 votes:
When they see what I've been downloading to my iPad, they're gonna sh•t.
farm9.staticflickr.comView Full Size
2013-06-13 09:35:41 AM  
2 votes:
wait, so all my weblogs going to midget donkey porn are in that NSA datacenter?


what a waste of space. rm -rf that directory.

all 14 Tb of it.
2013-06-13 09:33:28 AM  
2 votes:
I think it's good that people are learning to joke about this situation that is already way out of their control.
2013-06-13 03:43:57 PM  
1 vote:
They only do it to keep your Freedom loving asses Free.  and don't forget, you can always trust a Government Of, By, and For Big Business/Wealthy.

2013-06-13 02:39:53 PM  
1 vote:
explosm.netView Full Size

/also the filename
2013-06-13 01:28:33 PM  
1 vote:
uber humper
By that remark I'm guessing you're into CP.

I fail to see what Captain Picard has to do with MLP:FIM, or why I should be imprisoned for liking the best Starfleet officer evar.
2013-06-13 12:53:33 PM  
1 vote:

They have nice staffers that will only ask your zip code and message to deliver.

2013-06-13 12:22:00 PM  
1 vote:
Well, at least someone is reading my emails, cuz I'm sure as hell not.
2013-06-13 11:35:19 AM  
1 vote:

tylerdurden217: What if we collectively fought back against the NSA by contributing (orders of magnitude) more garbage communication in an attempt to overwhelm their metadata collection efforts?

Uh, take a look around you.
2013-06-13 11:05:56 AM  
1 vote:
I wonder if the NSA knows where my mother saved her word doc she keeps calling me about.
2013-06-13 11:05:27 AM  
1 vote:
notablebiographies.comView Full Size

Presently blowing huge wads of
dusty  jizz onto the lid of his coffin.

2013-06-13 10:56:01 AM  
1 vote:

ows: can I still google myself?

You dirty boy, you.
2013-06-13 10:55:20 AM  
1 vote:
Good luck NSA

i86.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-06-13 10:52:13 AM  
1 vote:

Agent 84: Skleenar's Natalie Portman fanpage

Wow.  1267 hits in the last half hour.  Thanks!

/I love how when I try to make a point about accuracy, suddenly I am a apologist for the police state.  Whatever.
2013-06-13 10:48:53 AM  
1 vote:
I am going to forward all my spam to them... you know for safety.
2013-06-13 10:45:59 AM  
1 vote:
s23.postimg.orgView Full Size

tinypic.comView Full Size

politifake.orgView Full Size
2013-06-13 10:45:03 AM  
1 vote:

Katolu: Screw it. Everyone with a phone, or email, anything that can be tapped needs to use all of the keywords that triggers the NSA to investigate. Hundreds of millions of instances of those words showing up daily and the NSA wouldn't know where to begin or have the manpower to investigate.

This. We need a fw:fw:fw:fw:fw: email with the list of word triggers in it, get that email to your average Rushbo fan and every granny and neocon uncle this side of the Pacific will be triggering it.
2013-06-13 10:41:13 AM  
1 vote:
The Feds are listening to my phone calls:
"The warranty on your vehicle is about to lapse."
"My vehicle is from the 1980s, and I bought it two years ago."
"Oh, our program can't help you."
"I know."
2013-06-13 10:40:02 AM  
1 vote:
"I don't want to make a mistake" and reveal too much, Alexander said,

Yeah it sucks when people learn information you want to keep private.
2013-06-13 10:22:08 AM  
1 vote:
If they have the ability to actually find out the true identity of senders of emails can we, just maybe, use this to shut down all the people trying to sell me Vi@gr@ and other spam.  If the NSA cannot do this one reach around, they should stop.
2013-06-13 10:08:33 AM  
1 vote:

Insaniteus: I hate how all of these "revelations" just keep telling us stuff that we've known about for 10 freaking years.

It's just an attempt to pin this whole process on Obama, despite him actually getting the court and Congressional approval for every search (Which W refused to do).  There are seriously people right now that are furious and horrified that Obama is spying on Americans through the courts, who didn't give one rat's half-eaten ass about Bush doing all of that and more illegally and without the slightest shred of oversight.

I have a theory that nothing pisses off a Republican more than when Obama adopts a Republican policy (This, Health care mandate, Amnesty, TSA, Drone strikes, closed-door meetings, etc).

But all of those things were awesome and necessary up until 2008, when Bush won the war on terrorism by lame ducking tarp, dropping the mic and leaving stage.
2013-06-13 09:58:28 AM  
1 vote:
i.imgur.comView Full Size

,,,And is apparently a big dork.
2013-06-13 09:58:05 AM  
1 vote:
Every once in a while a 50-60 yo undelivered letter/postcard appears. I wonder what the oldest undelivered email will contain?
2013-06-13 09:55:10 AM  
1 vote:

YixilTesiphon: A secret court is no better than no court.

In what way is a court that has a denial rate of basically 0 better than no court? It lends an air of undeserved legality to the shame proceedings.
2013-06-13 09:54:13 AM  
1 vote:

unlikely: Again, we've known this since like the 90s... why is it only just NOW a big deal?

Because we didn't have a Muslim Communist in the White House in the '90s.
2013-06-13 09:45:58 AM  
1 vote:
Curled in a ball? Hah! Renouncing one's god should be done while standing defiantly, shaking your fist at the heavens!
2013-06-13 09:45:15 AM  
1 vote:

Skleenar: YixilTesiphon: What is the difference between this and the government reading all of your mail? It's magically different because it's on the internet?

Well, not to take the bait, but what they are discussing here isn't like reading your mail, it's more like reading the address of the recipient, the address of the sender, the time the message was sent and when it was delivered.

They are careful to differentiate between the metadata and the content.  Whether or not this nicety is actually being observed in practice is probably important, but so far these revelations seem to indicate that what is being collected is metadata, which is then likely being used to identify content of interest which is then FISA'd.  (And, I would guess, probably automatically, without human intervention).

You really believe they stop there?
2013-06-13 09:43:49 AM  
1 vote:
Make sure you put all your data on iCloud, Dropbox, Google Docs, et. al.  Think of the convenience!
2013-06-13 09:40:31 AM  
1 vote:

Sock Ruh Tease: netweavr: This is like Gay Rights. The older generation is upset and despondent that they exist. The younger generation doesn't care.

The older generation will die off and this "scandal" will disappear.

The younger generation understands the logistics that would be required to read every message and figures the government focuses on known terrorists and their plots, not my text to my BFF Jill.

It is my guess that they are so overwhelmed by all the data that they are incapable of doing much. It would be like a 13-year-old having 100,000 porno magazines.
2013-06-13 09:39:19 AM  
1 vote:
That's it.  I'm going back to handwritten postal mail.
2013-06-13 09:39:00 AM  
1 vote:
Let's all take pictures of our poop and email it to the NSA. They would love .... <carrier lost>
2013-06-13 09:38:26 AM  
1 vote:
My employer already does, might as well add the government.

I LOVE MY JOB. IT'S THE GREATEST THING EVER. SO IS THE GOVERNMENT.... except the parts that my employer doesn't like.
2013-06-13 09:36:54 AM  
1 vote:

doglover: I've just always assumed the Feds read ALL my emails.

They do. And have been for years.

That pretty data mining facility outside Salt Lake City is now where all the magic happens.
But dont worry, you're not saying bad things. Are you?
2013-06-13 09:28:16 AM  
1 vote:

basemetal: James!: I bet they're also watching you poop.  You better freak out.

They'll freak out, I had Taco Hell last night.

They were probably like... in your taco somehow.
2013-06-13 08:10:24 AM  
1 vote:
I've just always assumed the Feds read ALL my emails.
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