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(BBC)   Sure, the Finns put babies in boxes and get praised for having one of the world's lowest infant mortality rates. I put a baby in a box and suddenly I'm "grossly misusing the US postal system"   ( divider line
    More: Interesting, National Institute for Health, quality of lives  
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4989 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jun 2013 at 9:01 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-06-04 11:03:31 AM  
8 votes:

dragonchild: This is one of those excellent ideas that, if implemented in the U.S., would be politicized, undermined, corrupted, taken over and turned into a steaming pile of corporate welfare before the bill had even left committee.

6/4/13: A Senate bill is introduced in commitee to provide all new children with a box full of useful things.

6/5/13: Right Wing Blogosphere explodes in outrage over the government trying to take over our children's minds.

6/6/13: Fox News reports that Obama's new program, called the "Islamist Youth" effort by some, is a scandal worse than twenty Watergates combined with finding a pile of dead hookers in the Lincoln bedroom.

6/7/13: Other cable news outlets report that even though the box just contains clothes and health supplies most analysts agree is would be bad for the government shove propaganda into the home of every new child.

6/9/13: The Sunday talk shows feature the Senator who introduced the bill, attacking him for foolishly instituting a program that would cost Americans precious pennies every year. Doesn't he know there's a recession?

6/24/13: The bill is brought before the Senate having been edited so that it is financed by letting corporations sponsor it with branded items. The decision about what items are included and which corporations sponsor the bill requires an addendum hundreds of pages long.

7/1/13: The bill goes to the House. Ted Cruz introduces a competing bill to give every baby a copy of the Bible, a FairTax pamphlet, and a chastity belt. It dies in committee but the media reports on it heavily for days.

7/4/13: The House adds a rider to the bill repealing Obamacare and requiring that the box not go to any who receive welfare, as well as several more regulations about what can be included in the box.

7/7/13: The Conference Committee strikes the Obamacare resolution and synthesizes a new bill from the ones passed by the House and Senate.

7/22/13: The new bill passes Congress and is signed by the President. Nobody really knows how it will work in the real world.

9/17/14: New parents are finally allowed to fill out forms to request the box for their baby. The forms require a high fee, credit check, and drug test to screen out those that are undeserving. Processing takes 14-18 months as local governments sort out the parents eligibility and figure out what they are allowed to put in the box this year. The box usually contains a corporate branded blanket, a McDonalds gift card, a voucher for a free Bible, and several cans of corn.
2013-06-04 09:05:55 AM  
5 votes:

Nogale: Did you remember to poke air holes?

No need; babies automatically come with a few.
2013-06-04 09:10:03 AM  
4 votes:
Finland is the capital of Norway.
2013-06-04 08:58:40 AM  
4 votes:
It's sounds all good until you realize those boxes are made out of ticky-tacky and they all look just the same.
2013-06-04 12:48:00 PM  
1 vote:
Kuni: You took the box? Let's see what's in the box!

[Hiro-san opens the box; the audience gasps. There is a silence]

Kuni: Nothing! Absolutely nothing! STUPID! You're so STU-PIIIIIIIIIIID!
2013-06-04 09:40:14 AM  
1 vote:, wait.....WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDR.....hold on, that isn't right.....I'm so confused
2013-06-04 09:15:52 AM  
1 vote:

IdBeCrazyIf: Should have used Brown, they have better insurance on the shipping in event of package loss

it's for a baby, it'll be brown soon enough.
2013-06-04 09:14:45 AM  
1 vote:
looking at the contents...why does a baby need condoms?
2013-06-04 09:07:09 AM  
1 vote:

dragonchild: Nogale: Did you remember to poke air holes?

No need; babies automatically come with a few.

Some more than others.
2013-06-04 09:06:31 AM  
1 vote:
Subby:Headline.  You magnificent bastard.
2013-06-04 09:03:41 AM  
1 vote:
Did you remember to poke air holes?
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