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(CapAlert)   CAP reviews Harry Potter (repeat?)   ( capalert.com) divider line
    More: Amusing  
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2760 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Nov 2001 at 4:43 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2001-11-29 07:47:48 PM  
I really can't stand the design of that site. If you can even call it design...
2001-11-29 07:56:42 PM  
"Now there's a good topic for our kids to ponder while waiting for sleep to come at night -- kill, kill, kill."

Right. Have the kids try pondering Psalm 137.9:

"Happy be he who taketh thy little ones and dasheth them against the stones"

What imagery. I can see God now, smashing little babies agains the rocks with his almighy bloody hands and a lunatic smile on his face.
2001-11-29 08:30:57 PM  
I want to know how Mary Poppins got a perfect score??

Spoonfulls of suger used as alternative to god
jumping into moving paintings
flying on umbrellas


2001-11-29 08:51:53 PM  
"Spoonfulls of suger used as alternative to god"

Even worse than that! The sugar helped medicine go down! She should have used the laying on of hands! :)
2001-11-29 09:18:27 PM  
Even worse than that! The sugar helped medicine go down!

How awful! As God said in Isa. 5:20, you cannot make something light with darkness and something sweet with bitterness.

They liked The Tigger Movie except for "a great fall" and "striking out in a blizzard". Damn heathen Tigger!
2001-11-29 09:19:06 PM  
Oh, I forgot. The medicine goes down, and so do we.
2001-11-29 09:42:15 PM  
The guy says,'we have kicked God out of schools, government and many, many homes and what used to be the family.' ...So, after God was kicked out, where did she go to - Wizard school?
2001-11-29 09:43:12 PM  
This CAP fellow reminds me of Grandpa Simpson...

"The following is a list of words I never want to hear on television again: number one: bra, number 2: horny, number three: family jewels..."
2001-11-29 10:49:48 PM  
Ah, religious wackos. My house is located immediately in between a Mormon temple and a Baptist church, and across the street from a Scientologist® "psychological reconditioning facility", so you can imagine what pure hell that is. At least the rent is really farking low.
2001-11-29 10:50:53 PM  
The super right-wing Christians make me sick. Not only because of their intolerant bigoted views, but because they're a minority who give all Christians a bad name.

During the height of the Harry Potter controversy a few months back, in the middle of a sermon my preacher held up the Harry Potter books and declared them wonderful family books that everyone can enjoy. That's what most of us think, it's just these morons have the louder megaphone and seem like a bigger faction than they are...
2001-11-29 11:00:44 PM  
Tioloco wonderful use of imagery! Excellent!

To hell with all fundies of all religions. Jesus called them snakes, right?

I have seen or heard about hundreds of kids who didn't read much before actually sitting down and reading long books because they were Harry Potter, and fluently reading, too (means they see the movie going on in their head while they read). Reading is the foundation of education, and a good, free education for all is what makes good, free Americans. Why else do fundies like the Tali-banned and these CAP freaks attack public education every chance? BTW, thot CAP was "Civil Air Patrol".
2001-11-29 11:24:31 PM  
I am assuming the review was bad...
I cannot read that page with all the farking ads....

I have seen the movie and it says nothing about satan... I was waiting. Not a bad little flick, in my opinion.
2001-11-30 01:51:36 AM  
Henchman: Gotta agree with you about Xmas. We really should call it Baalmas or something. :) Besides there's evidence that Jesus was born in the autumn. And someone tell me again, what does a decorated tree have to do with Jesus' birth...?

Thanos6: Amen to that! I think parents should look at the books themselves, maybe read them with the kids, and make their own judgments.

Next up: CAP reviews farker LadyAlexa's Legend of Zelda fanfic...the NC17 stuff. :) (Hey, there's porn, then there's stories written with taste IMO)
2001-11-30 01:56:07 AM  
CRUDKING: Yep, thank the good old Catholics for 'em! Which is why my husband and I don't observe them!

Cnhn: That's called going WAY overboard. So if I walk in the forest alone, I'm sinning? *rolls eyes* Talk about majoring in the minors! I'm sure they'll find fault with something Christ did--just you watch!
2001-11-30 06:01:22 AM  
LadyAlexa: There was a link posted to a satire page of CAP reviewing the bible a while back. Dunno where it is now, but it's a flawless parody, and absolutely hilarious.
2001-11-30 06:54:35 AM  
Bhamv--You find it, post it here under Satire or Ironic. :) Apparently I'm not the only one who thought of it!
2001-11-30 09:00:19 AM  
And yet ... I still have people who ask me why I haven't found God or Jeebus? With followers like this who condemn everything and only preach hate, I have no desire to "return to the flock" either.

I do feel sorry that so many loving Catholics and Christians get shown in a negative light because fo a few select bigots who just use the Bible and God as their defense to say and do most whatever they want.
2001-11-30 10:00:15 AM  
By the way, Harry converses with a snake in this movie. Not a cow, not a dog, not a cat, but a snake. And one of the characters is 665 years old. Metheuselah? Nebuchadnezzar? NOAH? All old.

beating of a child with a club by a giant troll, seeing the club hit the child, repeatedly I saw the movie; didn't see the troll hit the kid. Did he see something I didn't?

I can sum up CAP in two words:
Jack. Ass.
2001-11-30 11:01:01 AM  
I'd LOVE to see CAP's review of The Black Knight! :) That movie was HILARIOUS!
2001-11-30 01:33:45 PM  
nothing martin lawrence does is funny...
damm little racist fark
2001-11-30 08:28:03 PM  
Offense to God (O)(2):

witchcraft/sorcery to control others, repeatedly


levitation, repeatedly

witchcraft/sorcery to get even

boy conversing with a snake

witchcraft/sorcery to start fires, repeatedly

witchcraft/sorcery to grow tail on a boy

community of witches and wizards

goblins, ghosts, repeatedly

witchcraft/sorcery to destroy property

"You're a wizard, Harry"

"Not all wizards are good"

disappearance by witchcraft/sorcery

walking through walls

casting spells, repeatedly

manifestations in mirror

mirror to show deepest desires

elixir of life to make immortal

half man, half horse beast

protection by unholy force

broom riding, repeatedly

attempted murder with witchcraft/sorcery, repeatedly

offer to resurrect parents by unholy force

"There is no good or evil. There's only power" (Voldemort)

talking witches hat

witchcraft/sorcery to create food

paintings with moving subjects, repeatedly

teaching the use of potions to control others and even "stopper" death

evil eyes, repeatedly

witchcraft/sorcery incantation to do harm

Christmas without Jesus

invisibility by witchcraft/sorcery

face in pain protruding from book pages

demon cat; witch's familiar

evil passing through boy's body, causing unconsciousness

witchcraft/sorcery to change flag colors

unholy possession


Now, I don't want to discriminate against witchcraft and sorcery shiat, as I am skipping school to see lord of the rings on the first day it comes out. BUT, the harry pothead books are pure shiat.

I'm gonna submit a link of their examination of LOTR.
2001-11-30 08:32:17 PM  
Oh, and another interesting note on the Sugar stuff:

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