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(The Week)   Dear Starshine, My mother-in-law is dumb as a bag of hammers. Will my toddler catch The Stupid from her if I let the child hang around with her?   ( theweek.com) divider line
    More: Stupid, The Stupids, Starshine, mother-in-law, hammers, rock musical  
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9533 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 May 2013 at 12:53 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2013-05-10 01:31:28 PM  
4 votes:
Dear Concerned,

How old is your toddler? By the age of four, most toddlers are smart enough to realize that they are dealing with an adult who is an idiot. If the toddler is two or three, there is a slight chance of "catching the Stupid", but it is unlikely to damage the child permanently, provided there are a few better role models around. Living with idiots is a very important life skill which humans and some social animals acquire naturally.

And the role model doesn't have to be anything spectacular. Many toddlers have been rescued from the Stupid by a dog or cat, who act as a corrective to the idiocy of the Mother or Father figures.

About half of human intelligence is innate and half is environmentally determined. A child in an enriched environment can be extraordinarily precocious, precious, and annoying, but even in a deprived environment, where all the adults and children are idiots born and bred, an intelligent child can survive thanks to imaginary friends, demonic possession, or exposure to positive influences from television or books left on park benches by those annoying people who leave books in public places for other people to find and read. And, of course, the family dog may well be able to act as Nanny to the child.

Children were designed by Nature to thrive even if raised by parents with barely the intellectual capacity of apes. Parents have not evolved as quickly as children any way, because they are not affected by neoteny (except for Geek and Nerd Parents), so all children are, as a rule, more open and thoughtful than their care-givers. This explains how the population makes it through grade school teachers and kindergarten twits without serious degeneration of their mental capacity.

In worse cases scenarios, a gay uncle or aunt will take the child under their fairy wings and teach them the concepts of irony, kitsch, camp, and self-depreciating humour. In other words, will teach them that all of the adults that they know are morons. That's why God made gays--to correct the errors of heredity and evolution. Homosexuals are one of the rare creatures of God to pass their genes on two-steps forward and one step to the left or right, like the Knight's move in chess. Gayness is inherited from your uncles and aunts in much the same way that the Queen Bee's children are actually her sisters or something. Who knows from Queen Bees? Look it up in Wikipedia.
2013-05-10 01:47:40 PM  
2 votes:

acad1228: Is it really possible to dye one's hair blonde?

What is the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
//If you dump a load in a washing machine it does not follow you around for a week.
2013-05-10 01:03:58 PM  
2 votes:

moothemagiccow: Dyeing your hair is really stupid, but this person is also requesting advice from a person named Starshine. I don't know where to start.

... With your early morning singing song?
2013-05-10 12:49:50 PM  
2 votes:
Just to be clear here: the person asserting intellectual superiority in this dispute is the person seeking advice from a columnist named "Starshine."
2013-05-10 03:32:44 PM  
1 vote:
Stupid tends to socialize with stupid. Stupid tends to breed with stupid. So chances are the daughter is already stupid.
2013-05-10 02:01:34 PM  
1 vote:

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Crewmannumber6: basemetal: Yes.

The Earth says hello

[lonelymachines.org image 340x269]

Just saw this. Glad you posted it. However it just occurred to me that the Wookie isn't wearing any pants. The question "Where is Scully's hand?" suddenly becomes very important.

Then again, where is a Wookie's anus? It could be high, it could be low, where it is, I just don't know.

Also, how does a Wookie keep its fur clean? Most apes tend to be a bit hairless around the whole general vicinity (and the taint). But Wookies are really covered with fur. Does a Wookie shiat in the woods, and if so, how? Do they carry a small wad of toilet paper somewhere? Is their species one of the few that invented bidets before they invented chairs?
2013-05-10 01:59:32 PM  
1 vote:
"Prolonged exposer?" Dude I know got six months in County for that.
2013-05-10 01:47:46 PM  
1 vote:
My mother is a fundie teabagger type.  My sister & I both have 10 year old sons.

My sister's kid is at grandma's house almost everyday.  Grandma has taught the boy that the world is 6,000 years old and that dinosaurs are the work of the devil.  She has also taught him that black/brown people are scary and bad.  The kid goes to a really good school and is otherwise a smart kid.  Unfortunately, he believes everything his grandma says is true.

We live in a different state and limit visits with her to once a year at most.  I don't want my mom's particular brand of crazy to influence my kid in any way.  Hell, most of my family are drug addicts, child molesters, and/or violent.  You don't get to be around my kid just because we're related.
2013-05-10 01:21:23 PM  
1 vote:

Rapmaster2000: Yes.  Being dumb is a learned behavior.  It's when you've decided that there's no value in not being dumb and that decision is influenced by your role models.

That explains the Tea Party, and most of the GOP.
2013-05-10 01:17:26 PM  
1 vote:
Q: "Is there any possibility, with prolonged exposer, that my mother-in-law could dumb down my daughter? "

A: Glibby gloop gloopy Nibby Nabby Noopy La La La Lo Lo
Sabba sibby sabba nooby abba nabba Le Le Lo Lo
Tooby ooby walla Nooby abba nabba

/den you put de lime in da coconut and drink dem both together
//put de lime in da coconut and den you feel better
2013-05-10 01:16:52 PM  
1 vote:
If stupidity was contagious, humanity would have died off long ago.
2013-05-10 01:13:25 PM  
1 vote:
What kind of parent is he? Children who don't learn how to interact with morons are going to have real trouble later in life.
2013-05-10 01:12:10 PM  
1 vote:
well, the person is a bit rude about it, but I'd have to agree with the concept that if you hang around stupid people, it can influence the person's ability to use their brain.

My kids, when they hang around some stupid people (which can include relatives), they go all derpy for a while.

Heck, sometimes, just reading comments on Fark kills some of my brain cells.

And some people I've know that hung around with the wrong crowd went from good and smart to wasted and stupid.
2013-05-10 01:12:08 PM  
1 vote:
media.theweek.comView Full Size

Good morning, Starshine.
Your lips say hello

Glididdy gloop gloopy
Nibby nobby nooby
La la la lo lo
Sabba sibby sabba
Nooby abba dabba
Le le lo lo
dooby ooby walla
dooby abba dabba
Early morning singing song

And then there's a lot of other dirty thingss in that butchered song. I can't believe I waited30 years to use it on someone actually named Starshine..
2013-05-10 01:09:28 PM  
1 vote:
Only if she's christian, republican, or teabagger. if it's a tri-fecta, you're farked...
2013-05-10 12:12:11 PM  
1 vote:
Your child is already a carrier
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