This would be a funny idea if office buildings had windows from which you could jump. But as it is, these glass and steel towers are shut tight and the only air that's let in is through the HVAC systems sucking in the polluted city air from the outside and intermingling it with the sweaty stench of the engineering department. I've even left bars of Irish Spring outside the elevator doors for them, just to give them a push. I came back two days later and they had built a pyramid out of the soap and it must have been 100 soda cans. The smell was no better. They live in squalor and reek to high heaven, and I can't imagine they're very healthy. One guy comes up to the exec floor every now and then sniffling and dragging some sort of pillow doll behind him. I see him at meetings every now and then, guzzling a soft drink and nuzzling that goddamned pillow. We can't fire him because he apparently knows the entire network and he works for very little pay, only taking the free drinks and free chips. I have been thinking of proposing that we do away with these things in an effort to promote a healthier workplace, but I really just want the engineering floors to stop smelling like a zoo.