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(Sun Sentinel)   Man who stood on his parked sailboat while greeting fellow boat enthusiasts by masturbating told deputies he was just exercising   ( sun-sentinel.com) divider line
    More: Florida, boat enthusiasts, fellow boat, greetings, boats  
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3469 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 May 2013 at 11:27 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

48 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
2013-05-07 08:35:27 AM  
2013-05-07 09:45:31 AM  
Nice boat.
2013-05-07 09:46:19 AM  
Was he using both hands?
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-05-07 09:47:25 AM  
Well, it's not like you can go jogging when you live on a small boat.
2013-05-07 10:06:02 AM  
How do you park a sailboat?   I thought you moored or docked them.
2013-05-07 10:15:42 AM  
Jumping jack-offs.
2013-05-07 10:31:07 AM  
Casually listening to Selena Gomez.
2013-05-07 10:36:25 AM  
Insert "he was a really, really good fisherman" joke here.
2013-05-07 10:37:09 AM  
misterhonk.deView Full Size
2013-05-07 10:39:58 AM  
I thought it was quite common for boaters to play with their dingy.
2013-05-07 10:44:05 AM  
Found a picture:

2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2013-05-07 10:44:07 AM  

I_Am_Weasel: I thought it was quite common for boaters to play with their dingy.

I like the cut of your jib.
2013-05-07 10:58:10 AM  
Chummin' the waters??
2013-05-07 11:11:42 AM  

skinbubble: Found a picture:

On a sailboat too...impressive.
2013-05-07 11:26:00 AM  
"They never told me what 'Hoist the Mizzenmast' really meant, so..."
2013-05-07 11:31:19 AM  
Flogging the dolphin
2013-05-07 11:33:53 AM  
He's the Captain of his ship! He's the Commodore of his destiny!

He's offshore and that asserts his Sovereignty! This fine patriot is not subject to your "laws" based on a tyrannical despot king's centuries-old domination of his colonial territories. No, it is this Free Citizen's right to pull his oar.
2013-05-07 11:34:49 AM  
Dropping the anchor.

/wait... what?
2013-05-07 11:37:34 AM  
There's the makings of a great sea shanty in hear somewheres.
2013-05-07 11:38:34 AM  
Headline we'll soon be seeing: OLD MAN MASTURBATES AT CLOUD.
2013-05-07 11:39:37 AM  
coming about!
2013-05-07 11:40:14 AM  
rowing crews stroke, not sailors.
2013-05-07 11:41:23 AM  

offmymeds: Headline we'll soon be seeing: OLD MAN MASTURBATES AT CLOUD.

2013-05-07 11:44:43 AM  
He was at the back of the boat. Obviously this man is a first timer.

2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2013-05-07 11:45:04 AM  

skinbubble: Found a picture:

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x637]

A Double Date t-shirt?  How does one keep a Double Dare t-shirt in wearable condition?  Are they still selling those?
2013-05-07 11:45:27 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size

The final countdown?
2013-05-07 11:47:22 AM  
So he is that "man in a boat" I keep hearing about? No wonder I could never find him, I don't live in Florida.
2013-05-07 11:48:28 AM  
He was simply giving Masturbation Month the ol' starters pistol.
2013-05-07 11:54:42 AM  
No frigging in the rigging?
2013-05-07 11:56:59 AM  
Huh, turns out I get a lot of exercise after all, then.
2013-05-07 11:58:00 AM  

dittybopper: How do you park a sailboat?   I thought you moored or docked them.

Beats me.
2013-05-07 11:58:56 AM  
Technically correct - the best kind of correct!
Unlikely to cut any ice with the judge, though.
2013-05-07 11:59:15 AM  
He was just demonstrating the difference between flotsam and jism.
2013-05-07 12:01:31 PM  
Yeah, you definitely want to duck on that boat when the "boom" comes around.
2013-05-07 12:02:39 PM  
Dutch rudder?
2013-05-07 12:11:23 PM  
Erecting the mast?
2013-05-07 12:17:02 PM  
At least he wasn't doing it to little buoys.
2013-05-07 12:56:58 PM  
Well of course, he's the coxswain.

Was he doing it in the fo'c'sle?
2013-05-07 01:34:56 PM  
If that is exercise than I must be in outstanding shape and ready for a triathlon.
2013-05-07 01:44:40 PM  
And heave away laddie
Heave away ho
The winds do look fairly
The way that we go

Come on me laddie
One more to go
Just heave away laddie,
Heave away ho

The sun's o'er the mizzen
So break out the rum
Just one more heave laddie
And then you will ....

Anyone care to finish it off?
2013-05-07 01:46:30 PM  
Ctrl-F "Seamen"
Ctrl-F "Poop deck"
0 results.

am disapointed.

/Seems like it is good exercise though. My left arm is noticably stronger.
//Was armwresting with a friend and lost right handed. I suggested we switch hands and he laughed "like it will make a difference". I beat him soundly. He was like "how the fark did you do that?" I said "That's my jackin' arm!" he pulled his hand back and said 'ewww'
2013-05-07 02:20:36 PM  

dittybopper: How do you park a sailboat?   I thought you moored or docked them.

It's moops
2013-05-07 02:28:44 PM  
Exercising the love muscle?
2013-05-07 02:29:18 PM  
Judge Smails?
2013-05-07 03:50:43 PM  
It's my dick, and I'll wash it as fast, and as long as I want to!
2013-05-07 05:11:14 PM  
Am I the only one who thought of the first 2 lines of "Sloop John B"?

We come on the sloop John B
My grandfather and me
2013-05-07 09:18:14 PM  
he is a master bather, just practicing his stroke..
2013-05-07 09:51:00 PM  
Was his boat called Ja Koff?
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