FARK.com: (7723691) From the tombs of King Midas to ancient Persia to the wine of Chinese dynasties, "Our history as a human species is...the history of fermented beverages." Meet the Indiana Jones of booze

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		From the tombs of King Midas to ancient Persia to the wine of Chinese dynasties, "Our history as a human species is...the history of fermented beverages." Meet the Indiana Jones of booze ( thedp.com)		47
		More: Cool, Midas, Chinese, fermented beverage, Iran, Chinese dynasties, Louis Pasteur, Iron Age, history

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5434 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Apr 2013 at 9:24 AM (4 years ago) | Favorite | share:

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47 Comments (+0 »)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Sybarite

2013-04-29 09:22:38 AM

I want to party with that guy.

LittleSmitty

2013-04-29 09:28:36 AM

Well of course. Alcohol was the only safe thing to drink because we were too stupid to understand it's a bad idea to piss and shiat in our water supply.

Parthenogenetic

2013-04-29 09:29:00 AM

It belongs in a museum!

mekkab

2013-04-29 09:41:09 AM

Humanity's greatest invention/scientific advancement? malting barely.

/fermentation gets a close second place.

Bravo Two

2013-04-29 09:41:11 AM

Booze, sex, and violence. The three constants of human history.

mekkab

2013-04-29 09:42:05 AM

PS; that beer he's holding in the pic? Chateau Jiahu is dope, and currently on tap at the DFH Ale House in Gaithersburg.

Booyah!

NumberFiveIsAlive

2013-04-29 09:42:13 AM

LittleSmitty: Well of course. Alcohol was the only safe thing to drink because we were too stupid to understand it's a bad idea to piss and shiat in our water supply.

I'd wager that it had more to do with "smart people haven't invented toilet paper yet, so getting drunk is the best way to forget I have to wipe my ass with my hand" type of reasoning...

/I got caught charioting while intoxicated in a previous life once
//good times, good times...

God Is My Co-Pirate

2013-04-29 09:45:37 AM

There's an argument to be made that beer really did start civilization, because once people learned about brewing and fermentation, they expanded from wild barley into agriculture, and from nomadic life to settlements.
So, thanks, beer.

DubtodaIll

2013-04-29 09:45:50 AM

I'm not sure of the 100% validity of this statement, but I was told during school by a professor that the earliest example of writing we have was a supply list that included hops, barley, and other spices that were presumably used for making alcohol. So as far as I know, the reason we created writing was to track the process of beer making. Therefore alcohol provided the need to create civilization as we know it.

SoupJohnB

2013-04-29 09:45:58 AM

Don't have a link handy (read: "too lazy to find one"), but one of the oldest-known examples of Sumerian art has some guys drinking beer while another guy plays a guitar.

/ok, an ancient lute-like instrument if you want to get picky about it

//plays guitar with guys who drink beer

Gonz

2013-04-29 09:47:35 AM

I have a new pilgrimage to make. I need to talk ancient brews with Dr. Pat.

born_yesterday

2013-04-29 09:49:24 AM

You think you have it rough taste-testing your buddy's homebrew NOW?

i upped my meds-up yours

2013-04-29 09:54:48 AM

Sybarite: I want to party with that guy.

Are you out of your mind? He tucks his sweater in.

theorellior

2013-04-29 09:55:07 AM

Anyone else tried Dogfish Head's Theobroma? It's a re-creation of the Aztec drink based on chocolate. It's... very very odd. It's got cheese and feet and burning plastic and maybe some chocolate in there, and once you drink it odd things happen to your head. At least I had very weird dreams after drinking it.

LZeitgeist

2013-04-29 09:59:38 AM

theorellior: Anyone else tried Dogfish Head's Theobroma? It's a re-creation of the Aztec drink based on chocolate. It's... very very odd. It's got cheese and feet and burning plastic and maybe some chocolate in there, and once you drink it odd things happen to your head. At least I had very weird dreams after drinking it.

Well that's because back then, the Aztecs brewed with cheese, feet, burning plastic and chocolate.

\Duh.

God Is My Co-Pirate

2013-04-29 10:11:27 AM

UnrepentantApostate

2013-04-29 10:12:34 AM

Actually, if you get it on tap rather than in a bottle it's completely different. It's full of the fruity notes of chocolate, that we don't usually notice because we eat it as a confection. I think it's one of those beers that really suffers in the bottle, especially if it's a few months old.

Valiente

2013-04-29 10:27:06 AM

LittleSmitty: Well of course. Alcohol was the only safe thing to drink because we were too stupid to understand it's a bad idea to piss and shiat in our water supply.

Arguably, we still haven't learned that.

Valiente

2013-04-29 10:28:01 AM

God Is My Co-Pirate: There's an argument to be made that beer really did start civilization, because once people learned about brewing and fermentation, they expanded from wild barley into agriculture, and from nomadic life to settlements.
So, thanks, beer.

The cause of, and the solution to, all of life's problems.

puddleonfire

2013-04-29 10:28:15 AM

This article should've came out years earlier since the DFH beers have been around for a while, I'm sure it came out in a different form.
Translation: OLD NEWS but I enjoyed reading.

Arkanaut

2013-04-29 10:29:53 AM

mekkab: Humanity's greatest invention/scientific advancement? malting barely.

I say it's malting in a landslide!

LittleSmitty

2013-04-29 10:42:59 AM

Valiente: LittleSmitty: Well of course. Alcohol was the only safe thing to drink because we were too stupid to understand it's a bad idea to piss and shiat in our water supply.

Arguably, we still haven't learned that.

[www.eoearth.org image 850x485]

To be fair, as long as we allow the "job creators" to continue to dictate environmental policy, we'll all continue to get fecal bacteria and petroleum products in our water and food supplies.

I need a drink

Shrugging Atlas

2013-04-29 10:54:49 AM

The Indiana Jones of anything is just one of the best titles I think a person can shoot for.

Gonz

2013-04-29 11:05:24 AM

Valiente: God Is My Co-Pirate: There's an argument to be made that beer really did start civilization, because once people learned about brewing and fermentation, they expanded from wild barley into agriculture, and from nomadic life to settlements.
So, thanks, beer.

The cause of, and the solution to, all of life's problems.

The cause of, and the solution to, all of modern life, in a lot of ways.

Fermentation created civilization.

StopLurkListen

2013-04-29 11:09:58 AM

My new favorite fermented drink is kombucha. Go ahead, judge me. ha!

Raging Thespian

2013-04-29 11:45:23 AM

Parthenogenetic: [www.dogfish.com image 112x400]

It belongs in a museum!

I shall henceforth refer to my stomach as a museum.

Summercat

2013-04-29 11:47:44 AM

Booze and the dawn of civilization go hand in hand. They were certainly codevelopments.

WhippingBoy

2013-04-29 11:51:16 AM

Shrugging Atlas: The Indiana Jones of anything is just one of the best titles I think a person can shoot for.

The Indiana Jones of pedophiles?

jso2897

2013-04-29 11:51:23 AM

All of human civilization was built by people who were f**ked up on something - and just as this truth has always been with us, so have the prohibitionists and killjoys.

Valiente

2013-04-29 11:57:21 AM

WhippingBoy: Shrugging Atlas: The Indiana Jones of anything is just one of the best titles I think a person can shoot for.

The Indiana Jones of pedophiles?

Short Round is an unfortunate police sketch?

praxcelis

2013-04-29 12:12:17 PM

I am clearly in the wrong line of work. I need to find a career where they pay me to travel the world and drink.

/Still miss "Thirsty Traveler".

Oldiron_79

2013-04-29 12:21:08 PM

Brewing dates back as far as agriculture does, baking does not. So we started agriculture and cities for booze. If not for booze we would still be nomads killing shiat with spears for survival.

tennessee.hillbilly

2013-04-29 12:25:45 PM

praxcelis:Still miss "Thirsty Traveler".

This.

That was a good show.

theorellior

2013-04-29 12:35:08 PM

UnrepentantApostate: Actually, if you get it on tap rather than in a bottle it's completely different. It's full of the fruity notes of chocolate, that we don't usually notice because we eat it as a confection. I think it's one of those beers that really suffers in the bottle, especially if it's a few months old.

Interesting. I'd like to try it on tap, then. Of course, now I have to find it on tap.

liam76

2013-04-29 12:45:06 PM

Parthenogenetic: [www.dogfish.com image 112x400]

It belongs in ~~a museum~~ belly!

FTFY.

pag1107

2013-04-29 12:46:57 PM

I've tried Midas Touch, it's flavor is complex but very pleasant. It's super heavy though, fills you up like a ham sandwich.

The One True TheDavid

2013-04-29 12:48:46 PM

Gonz:

Fermentation created civilization.

And distilling made it portable. Long live bourbon!

fappomatic

2013-04-29 12:55:10 PM

Alan Eames is the real Indiana Jones of beer and was doing it a long time before this fellow.
In Vermont. And Egyptian tombs.

Embden.Meyerhof

2013-04-29 12:55:35 PM

DubtodaIll: I'm not sure of the 100% validity of this statement, but I was told during school by a professor that the earliest example of writing we have was a supply list that included hops, barley, and other spices that were presumably used for making alcohol. So as far as I know, the reason we created writing was to track the process of beer making. Therefore alcohol provided the need to create civilization as we know it.

As far as we know, the earliest use of hops in beer was approximately 1000AD, and it didn't increase in popularity for another 2-300 years.

So, I doubt our earliest-known writing would have hops as an ingredient in alcoholic beverages.

Aquapope

2013-04-29 01:21:02 PM

We have many of the gas laws we all learned in chemistry because of Scotch distillation.

Bruxellensis

2013-04-29 02:02:55 PM

DubtodaIll: I'm not sure of the 100% validity of this statement, but I was told during school by a professor that the earliest example of writing we have was a supply list that included hops, barley, and other spices that were presumably used for making alcohol. So as far as I know, the reason we created writing was to track the process of beer making. Therefore alcohol provided the need to create civilization as we know it.

No hops. Hops weren't popular until a few hundred years ago.

NDP2

2013-04-29 02:11:24 PM

pag1107: I've tried Midas Touch, it's flavor is complex but very pleasant. It's super heavy though, fills you up like a ham sandwich.

I thought it tasted closer to wine than beer (not that there's anything wrong with that). I wouldn't mind having it again but, if given the choice between Dogfish brews, I'd probably pick their 90-Minute IPA, Indian Brown Ale, or Olde School Barleywine first.

Erick Von Tutri IV

2013-04-29 02:28:57 PM

You can hear it straight from the experts at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b1DsfT4RzA

Oldiron_79

2013-04-29 02:35:48 PM

Bruxellensis: DubtodaIll: I'm not sure of the 100% validity of this statement, but I was told during school by a professor that the earliest example of writing we have was a supply list that included hops, barley, and other spices that were presumably used for making alcohol. So as far as I know, the reason we created writing was to track the process of beer making. Therefore alcohol provided the need to create civilization as we know it.

No hops. Hops weren't popular until a few hundred years ago.

Yeah sorry Hops heads, you run against the grain of most of brewing history.

Ambitwistor

2013-04-29 03:00:21 PM

Indiana Jones of booze? Lightweight.

Vangor

2013-04-29 04:35:11 PM

Is there any Dogfish Head ancient ale which isn't awesome? Perhaps Sah'tea, but the black chai tea simply is not my thing, and I still recognize the beer is a good one.

loonatic112358

2013-04-29 07:34:06 PM

really, none of you

What's his Fark Handle?

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