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(Some Guy)   Springfield decides to exterminate 80,000 strong muder of crows. Take that East St. Louis   ( divider line
    More: Strange  
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4756 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Dec 2003 at 11:42 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

90 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-12-28 11:45:35 AM  
I wish they'd do that in my city here. Damn crows are the rats of the sky.
2003-12-28 11:45:42 AM  
That will certainly be a "Murder" of crows...

Bwahahahahaha... I'm here all week, try the fish.
2003-12-28 11:46:08 AM  
Take that, Shelbyville.
2003-12-28 11:46:36 AM  
/Jim Crow
2003-12-28 11:47:45 AM  
They shoulda' asked for a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas.
2003-12-28 11:48:52 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-12-28 11:49:17 AM  
They did that in Connecticut a long time ago, a large flock of 300,000 crows settled in a barn during a storm, the locals closed the barn doors and lit it on fire.

Smelt like chicken, tasted like crap.
2003-12-28 11:49:38 AM  
say the Raven..Never more
2003-12-28 11:49:48 AM  
Crows aren't stupid.

They are probably already contacting their government lobyists for protection.......
2003-12-28 11:51:26 AM  
How will they do it?
Simple, kill 20,000 birds with 10,000 stones.
2003-12-28 11:51:42 AM  
FarkGrudge said: Damn crows are the rats of the sky.

I beg to differ. Pidgeons are the rats of the sky.
2003-12-28 11:52:36 AM  
At first I read that to be "cows" and thought "Ohhh fark."
2003-12-28 11:52:53 AM  
Oh, and squirrels are just bushy tailed rats.
2003-12-28 11:53:16 AM  
Considering that this is Springfield OHIO, and not Springfield ILLINOIS, I would think that Columbus or Dayton would be a better choice of a rival city than E. St. Louis.
2003-12-28 11:53:19 AM  
"Sometimes there are so many of them I'm afraid to put my dog out back," Evans said.

get a real dog
2003-12-28 11:54:35 AM  
Crows with freakin' laser beams.
2003-12-28 11:54:43 AM  
Rat ate a crow and took a crap => grackle.
2003-12-28 11:56:06 AM  
MrNeutron - hahahahaha, thank you for that one :P
2003-12-28 11:58:12 AM  
That is not a worm!

2003-12-28 11:59:45 AM  
When you see crows fighting over something, it may be worthwhile to look into it.

Just yesterday, I scared off a group of crows and got myself a slightly bruised
Hot Cocoa Sampler Box. Score!
2003-12-28 11:59:56 AM  
We'll get bigger more agressive crows to eat the original ones.
2003-12-28 12:01:03 PM  
Considering that this is Springfield OHIO, and not Springfield ILLINOIS, I would think that Columbus or Dayton would be a better choice of a rival city than E. St. Louis.
2003-12-28 12:02:47 PM  
I don't really mind the crows around here since they chase away the farkin' Canadian Geese that congregate and shiat all over the place.
2003-12-28 12:03:02 PM  
Holy Muder of God!

/spelling Nazi
2003-12-28 12:03:54 PM  
Considering that this is Springfield OHIO, and not...

oh, nevermind.
2003-12-28 12:05:59 PM  
It's really bad luck to kill a crow. Oh, and they are as intelligent as monkeys too.
2003-12-28 12:15:01 PM  
/nothin' to crow about ...
2003-12-28 12:15:19 PM  
Haa Haa!
2003-12-28 12:17:09 PM  
They should regroup at Red Lobster.
2003-12-28 12:20:18 PM  
2003-12-28 12:20:38 PM  
Theyd better hope that none of these crows peck at their eyes. Medical marijuana is not legal in Ohio.
2003-12-28 12:21:13 PM  
*now reads the other comments*

Actually the pigeons aren't as bad as those damn Grackles. They look like a homeless crow and are aggressive as hell. They'll eat thier own if given the chance.
2003-12-28 12:29:01 PM  
I once worked at a comic store in Spokane. It was in the old horrible building.
2 floors up, seaguls would flock in there and forget how to get out. When we finally got the nerve to go up and clean them out, mainly because one died in the air conditioner and made the store smell like death, we cleaned out NINETY THREE dead birds.
They were eating each other, banging into windows trying to leave and even just walking around with limp legs and broken wings. Some would fly away and you could see the germs flying in your mouth. My manager caught some kind of rash.
It was NAS-TY.
2003-12-28 12:29:19 PM  
That title makes absolutely no sense. Even if spelled correctly, it's nonsense.
2003-12-28 12:29:57 PM  
I, for one, welcome our black-winged overlords.

(It needed to be said).
2003-12-28 12:31:43 PM  
and they are as intelligent as monkeys...

I, for one, welcome our new hybrid crow-monkey overlords...

(also, I'm not wearing any pants...)
2003-12-28 12:33:55 PM  

murder = crows
pride = lions
pod = dolphins
gaggle = geese

Make more sense now?
2003-12-28 12:37:16 PM  
murder = crows
pride = lions
pod = dolphins
gaggle = geese

Make more sense now?

2003-12-28 12:39:41 PM  
When I was in Ireland a while ago I was shocked...SHOCKED to see just how bold the crows are over there. They were everywhare, like grackles here in CenTex and they were tough muthas' too.
On more than one occasion I would round a corner to see 10 or fifteen of them munching on a cracass in the middle of the road. They wouldn't even fly away as I drove past. they'd just swagger over to the side of the road, leaving their meal in the street. As soon as I passed, they would all trot back over to finish tearing off chunks of rotting flesh. It was kinda' cool.
2003-12-28 12:43:09 PM  
Excellent headline!
2003-12-28 12:48:45 PM  
to ensure killing the birds wouldn't harm the ecosystem. aren't the birds part of the ecosystem?
2003-12-28 12:49:38 PM  

Abso-fragging-lutely, dammit. grackles frelling suck. Pigeons are irritating, but at least all they do is leave mile-deep lakes of dookie behind.

2003-12-28 12:58:35 PM  
I get the feeling the crows will have the last laugh. They are considered the most intelligent of all birds. They have their own language, are truly sentient and adaptive and even do mimicry like parrots. Many native Americans groups have revered them for their cunning.
2003-12-28 01:03:09 PM  
I had a crow problem in my wife's garden two years ago. Went to the pound and got the meanest dog in the place. . . stopped at big five and got a pellet gun and co2. The next week they were all gone, all 200 of them! A couple that I missed went and told their friends and about 50 the asshat birds returned and attacked the dog! He snapped their necks one by one until all were dead! Good dog! We have not had any pigeons seagulls or crows in the yard since. Not to mention squirrels opossum or cats the dog seams very happy.
2003-12-28 01:06:08 PM  
Here is the telltale excerpt:

"'They really are drawn to litter french fries and bread, anything left lying around,' Bodenmiller said. 'They are opportunistic and attracted to trash.'"

So, evidently it is the citizenry of Springfield that can be compared to filthy, unkempt vermin, not the crows. I'd advise the dirty slobs of Ohio to clean up their trash rather than kill a lot of birds. But I forget: this is America, where killing is option Number One; much preferable to causing your fat, french-fry-fed ass to bend over to pick up your garbage.

TheSymbol sez: "I once worked at a comic store in Spokane. It was in the old horrible building. 2 floors up, seaguls (SIC) would flock in there and forget how to get out...My manager caught some kind of rash. It was NAS-TY."

Evidently the citizens of Spokane are similarly intelligent. I'll bet your "manager" didn't think to seal the building, did he?

Has anyone ever noticed that all of these pests are attracted by stupid humans providing them habitat and sustenance? Evidently not. The frequency of these stories confirms my suspicion that my fellow Americans are by-and-large a pack of simpletons.
2003-12-28 01:15:43 PM  
Reminds me of this:

Lisa: What happens when we're overrun by lizards?

Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.

Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?

Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.

Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!

Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.
2003-12-28 01:19:06 PM  
Springfield decides to exterminate 80,000 strong muder of crows. Take that East St. Louis

lol, I think I'm the only one so far that's gotten that obscure simpsons reference.

Good news, Springfield has moved up one position in the Times' 50 worst cities in America list. To number 49! Take THAT East St. Louis!
2003-12-28 01:21:27 PM  
ok Virgo. Astrology and the people who associate themselves with it ARE usually pretty bright. And the snake part woa thats pretty scary. You must be like a cheif or something. Him virgo snake. Him gene pool very deep. HIs dad and his dad and his dad and his dad all come from one big tp. Man you are genius.
2003-12-28 01:38:01 PM  
"Homer, I'm a little scared having this flock of crows in our bed...."

"Murder, honey. It's a murder of crows."
2003-12-28 01:40:23 PM  
SanchezSucio sez: "canyoneer----> Who is the hater there? I've been around enough reservations, sad but true and worse"

I grew up in New Mexico with Navajo, Apache, and Pueblo people. From my perspective, this is a grotesque generalization. I remember a guy from Zia who lived up the street from us when I was a kid. He worked at Sandia Labs (physicist) and drove a Porsche 911, for example. Needless to say, he didn't sit around the res drunk all day.

One of the network guys where I work is a Pine Ridge Lakota, and he's as sharp or sharper than your average white boy, besides having had to face ten times the obstacles faced by your average white boy to get where he is.

I think most Indians have it bad enough even without all the scorn heaped on them by guys like ajint_ornj. I stand by my jab at the citizens of Springfield, grumpy as it was. Pest problems can virtually always be traced to stupidity or slovenliness among the afflicted.

ajint_ornj sez: "...runningbear is in a little plot of land that my people allowed him? if they were more clever they wouldve been a little further along than cavemen when we got here. They were like oh him floatem on water in big boat. wow. how."

I can recommend a few good science books to inform your ignorance about human history. But they might have some big words in them and that might scare you off.

"Guns, Germs, and Steel" - Jared Diamond

Be warned: this book will not feed or reinforce your distasteful prejudices.
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