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(Time)   Six things that are surprisingly banned from most front yards   ( business.time.com) divider line
    More: Silly, vegetable gardens, garden gnomes, Whitefish Bay  
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24688 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Apr 2013 at 8:43 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-04-22 09:08:55 PM  
6 votes:
portalisimo.comView Full Size

Zombies vs HOA's
2013-04-22 08:57:29 PM  
5 votes:
i34.tinypic.comView Full Size
2013-04-22 09:31:26 PM  
4 votes:
i237.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-04-22 09:14:38 PM  
3 votes:

Ambivalence: I could have farking goats and chickens in my yard if I wanted.

Um, did anyone tell you goats and chickens cannot have offspring?
2013-04-22 09:09:51 PM  
3 votes:
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
2013-04-22 10:34:54 PM  
2 votes:
List fails without old bath-tubs converted to shrines to the BVM. (Italian, Portuguese neighbourhoods)

Mirror balls and planters made from old tires painted white. (proles with a touch of DIY)

Concrete geese and deer. (animal lovers who love their animals stuffed and mounted.)

Excessive numbers of whirligigs and ducks with wings that rotate. (Insane People Live Here.)

Old men mowing the lawn with scythes (time warps)

Goats. (back roads full of hippies with suspiciously large collections of luxury four-wheel drives)

Junked pick-up trucks, with resident goat. (Adam Sandler sketches)

Matched sets of tiny lions, tight-assed 50s and 60s topiary. (People who know all the words to Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail)

Rented signs that quote Scriptures (Dangerously religious people).

Shoes hanging from the telephone wires. (Foot fetishists that don't take down their Christmas decorations).
Christmas decorations galore (People who can't let go.)

Easter decorations (People who go too far.)

Over-wrought Halloween decorations (cool people if the date is between Oct 1-31), creepy people if the date is between Dec 1- Feb 14).

The overflow of cars from the driveway (Party people, working class rural people with six teenage children).

A Rolls Royce Silver Phantom (Very, very lucky people. And you're lucky too if you got that far up the drive without being shot.)

A complete set of garden gnomes (people who sell garden gnomes and the people they sell them to.)

Tombstones (The house was once a church or the home-owner sells funeral monuments from his home.)

Jimmy Carter wearing a giant beehive wig. (You are watching a Simpsons cartoon. Or else you are stoned.)
2013-04-22 10:08:31 PM  
2 votes:

TheSwissNavy: What the bloody hell is the purpose of licensing bicycles ?

It's the first step toward confiscating your guns and the introduction of the New World Order.
2013-04-22 09:56:22 PM  
2 votes:
I'm all for freedom of expression, but can we please ban this shiat?

paulalovesmarla.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2013-04-22 09:25:42 PM  
2 votes:
I agree with everything but the garden gnomes. They should be encouraged, and in fact a tax break should be given out to residents for each and every garden gnome they put out on their front lawns. This way when people walk or drive down the streets, they can see that it's a happy, peaceful community, and maybe then the actual gnomes will stop killing our first-born and all will be back to normal.
2013-04-22 08:14:10 PM  
2 votes:
Until someone finds a better jart target than lawn gnomes, my neighbors can kiss my ass.
2013-04-23 07:54:51 AM  
1 vote:

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: oohpah: Two blocks from me a guy planted flowers in an ugly toilet in his front yard. Came here to see toilets on the list. Didn't see squat.

You should put a flowerbox full of feces on your front lawn. It will balance out the universe.

Or you could be like this guy who lived down the street from me and put this up in your yard.  That'll show 'em.

upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
2013-04-23 02:57:34 AM  
1 vote:

oohpah: Two blocks from me a guy planted flowers in an ugly toilet in his front yard. Came here to see toilets on the list. Didn't see squat.

You should put a flowerbox full of feces on your front lawn. It will balance out the universe.
2013-04-23 01:43:32 AM  
1 vote:

Forsythe P. Jones: 27 years same house, no HOA, small cul-de-sac by a lake.
We just give polite nods to each other and help each other when we can.
When the Cessna bit the trees 20 something years ago, we all worked together for minor repairs and stuff. Other than that, our damn pink plastic flamingos stay.

surroundedbyreality.comView Full Size

Saw this live in 1979, my first day at Madison.  Thought they did this every year.
2013-04-22 11:29:11 PM  
1 vote:

*Not valid in Morgantown, WV during football season

//if they are having a good season, they won't be there long and you'll be able to see the smoke from miles away
2013-04-22 10:13:48 PM  
1 vote:
If somebody has to tell you not to put a couch on your lawn, you should probably go live in a trailer park anyway. You'll fit in much better there.
2013-04-22 09:44:55 PM  
1 vote:
I keep my tacky lawn art in the back yard where it amuses me and bothers no one but badly decorated yards are sort of a local art form. One of my area's less subtle displays:

i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-04-22 09:42:55 PM  
1 vote:

SurelyShirley: I've lived in too many crowded and over regulated places where a flower pot in the wrong place or ivy that grew 6" over the fence would get you a stern wag of the finger from your friendly HOA brown shirt in no time.
Finally had enough of all the nonsense of city life and retreated deep into the woods. No complaints about too many howling dogs, a boat trailer parked in the driveway, a basketball hoop or the handful of picknick tables around the fire pit.

/Land of the free

It seems like overzealous HOAs are mostly a suburban thing.  I've lived most of my life in a city, a rather large one and people put all sorts of random shiat in their little postage stamp front yards.   Not too long ago someone made an eight foot white crane out of fabric and installed that in their front yard and nobody cared except to take pictures of it or make fun of them.  I've seen people grow vegetables (a bad idea in this soil if not done right), make shrines to whatever saint or god they worship, construct elaborate 'art' installations, set up a fire in a container in a double lot and hang around it drinking beer etc. and I've not seen much in the way of concern by the city unless it is unsafe to passerbys or is attracting rodents.

Whenever I hear stories about these HOAs, I just imagine watching their collective heads explode if they had to live by the guy in my old neighborhood who did this to his house (who sadly died in 2007).  Thankfully nobody around here seemed to care about his unique sense of exterior decoration and let him be.

wurlington-bros.comView Full Size
2013-04-22 09:28:37 PM  
1 vote:
Obviously, this list does not apply to Council Bluffs, Iowa...
2013-04-22 09:13:10 PM  
1 vote:
It's a good thing I don't live any place that had a front lawn; one of the first things I'd do is plow up the useless inedible grass and put in some raised beds for actual produce. That way, any labor I have to expend on the plants will eventually come back to me as calories or as nutrients.

Of course, any place around here that has plots with lawns will probably have HOAs or neighbors that will have a shrieking shiat fit about someone actually tilling the soil instead of creating a living monument of too much free time and OCD.

Have I mentioned I hate lawns? They suck.
2013-04-22 08:54:40 PM  
1 vote:
Funny garden gnomes seem so quiet and meek.

s15.postimg.orgView Full Size
2013-04-22 08:54:36 PM  
1 vote:

Nuclear Monk: Yes, HOAs are insane.  However, this particular article deals primarily with municipal regulations...not HOAs.  City government can occasionally be insane too.

Forget it, this thread is headed for an HOA derp storm. It's going to get out of control and we'll be lucky to survive it.

/no couches in the front yard? Where am I supposed to lay naked? In the grass?
//the human wang is a beautiful thing
2013-04-22 08:02:53 PM  
1 vote:
cdn1.elitedaily.comView Full Size

HOA is an acronym for what?
2013-04-22 07:58:34 PM  
1 vote:
Oooo HOA thread.

/runs for popcorn
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