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(Washington Post)   Is it too soon for a bad story about Roger Ebert??   ( washingtonpost.com) divider line
    More: Followup, Roger Ebert, Siskel  
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18801 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Apr 2013 at 12:23 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2013-04-12 01:28:14 AM  
7 votes:
I have an Ebert story: Once, while on a business trip in Chicago, I stopped for a quick dinner at Lawry's. Sitting next to me was a very drunk Roger Ebert, just staring down at a hunk of prime rib. I asked him if he wanted to join me and after he did, one thing lead to another and we started drinking like Amy Winehouse at a Hole concert - or vice versa...anyway, with both of us swimming in booze, he mentioned that he was a member of the Aryan Nation and hated everyone except, well, Aryans. I was shocked and I was furious. I screamed at him to leave. He lunged for his steak knife and I wrestled it from him with a kimura lock. I then threw the seasoning salt at his face and that's actually what doctor believe caused his face cancer.

As god as my witness everything in the above story is as I remember it... except, after I went back and checked, it wasn't Chicago, it was Baton Rouge, and it was wasn't Lawry's, it was Ruth's Chris and it wasn't the Aryan Nation, it was Mensa, and it wasn't seasoning salt, it was my fist and it wasn't cancer it was a broken jaw, and it wasn't Roger Ebert, it was my brother, and he didn't have face cancer, but does have a touch of psoriasis on his left elbow.

My bad.
2013-04-11 09:54:10 PM  
4 votes:
The guy who wrote that nearly incomprehensible essay won TWO Pulitzers? Kill me.
2013-04-11 10:49:19 PM  
2 votes:
Two thumbs WAY down
2013-04-11 10:14:41 PM  
2 votes:

And here I was expecting "Confessions of an Unanticipated Ingredient in a Theater Popcorn Bag"...

/Hot buttered
//And salty
///One thumb down
2013-04-12 03:54:24 AM  
1 vote:
Speaking of the "I've won a Pulitzer" thing, I'm just gonna leave Ebert's review of 'Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo' here for those of you who aren't familiar with it. Read it through to the end. Oh so worth it.


/Ebert WAS a bit of a pompous jerk sometimes but he was one hell of a writer and he knew his movies. I miss him.
2013-04-12 02:39:56 AM  
1 vote:
Once, late in his career, I saw Barry Bonds take such a monstrous swing at a ball that he stumbled backwards out of the batter's box and nearly fell on his ass. It was like a parody of a home run swing. If he'd actually made solid contact with the ball he probably would have hit it 500 feet, but instead he was up there weaving around like a drunken, 275-pound Little Leaguer.

I felt sorry for him, kind of like I feel sorry for this author. You can see the flop sweat all over this. It's one thing to aim at "funny yet touching" and miss; it's another thing to take point-blank aim at it with everything in your arsenal and yet repeatedly shoot yourself in the foot.
2013-04-12 01:52:15 AM  
1 vote:
Page 1: A long-winded apology for speaking ill of the dead that leads me to expect some sort of Jimmy Savile-esque revelation on the second page.

Page 2: The author admits to wrongly criticising Ebert for a pompous letter that was actually written by Siskel. And can't even be arsed to run the letter, or a link to it, or even an excerpt.

Granted, I have seen worse links greenlit, but this is still pretty poor. Not quite FarkTV bad, but definitely AskMen bad.
2013-04-12 01:08:01 AM  
1 vote:

gingerjet: Ebert did a lot of fark'd up stuff early in his life and this is all somebody can come up with that's "bad"?

/love Ebert

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/culture/2013/04/roger-ebert-me mo ries-bad-review-zweibel.html Here's an article written by a guy he had kneecapped, then gangraped and left for dead.
2013-04-12 12:36:15 AM  
1 vote:
A pompous film reviewer? My lawd, where's my fainting couch? Never heard tell of such a thing!

2013-04-12 12:17:36 AM  
1 vote:

namatad: Chariset: Eddy Gurge: I guess reading the entire article is a lost art.

Here's the entire article.

Page 1 -- a heck of a lot of throat-clearing about how it's soooo icky to mock the dead, and the writer feels just awful that he's about to tell a story on Ebert

Page 2 -- author tells his story on Ebert, which is the very definition of a non-story and doesn't make Ebert look bad at all.  The end.

some loser who won two pulitzers and felt the need to let us know?

summercampculture.comView Full Size

Roger Ebert writes, from beyond the grave: "TotalFarkers were enjoined after the article to avoid revealing the article secrets. That is not because we would spoil the article for you. It's because if you knew them, you wouldn't want to click the link."
2013-04-11 09:02:31 PM  
1 vote:

UNC_Samurai: Not if you're just jawing.

He's just flappin' his gums.
2013-04-11 08:57:39 PM  
1 vote:
Not if you're just jawing.
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