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(SeattlePI)   'Please help' and the 8 other things Earthlings want to say to extraterrestrials ... Turns out, we're a fairly self-obsessed bunch   ( blog.seattlepi.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, earthlings, SETI Institute, Tim Lower, University of Alaska  
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5374 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Apr 2013 at 12:17 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-04-10 12:11:49 PM  
3 votes:
Welcome to Earf
2013-04-10 11:18:40 AM  
3 votes:
"we taste bad!"
2013-04-10 01:00:04 PM  
2 votes:
Where's your sex hole?
2013-04-10 06:06:14 PM  
1 vote:
1. Cigarette smoking taints the meat. Therefore, massive PR campaign to get us to quit smoking.

2.  For the true believers, the hardcore science fiction fans and space experts in alien xenobiology the question is ignored because, well .... it would be the ultimate buzz kill. Why. The ultimate question.

Why would alien races come to Earth with conquest in mind?


There's more water in this galaxy than we have numbers to express. Comestibles? It is to laugh. Air? Look around. There are entire super massive celestial bodies made up of basic gases to supply any race. Unguarded, no need to kill and conquer to get at the basic ingredients for atmosphere. Minerals? Get a grip. The asteroid belt alone is richer in both base and exotic metals for the taking than the Earth could ever be and, again, no need to fight the locals for those minerals. Territory? Have you looked into a telescope how big the Universe really is?

What, then? Why would an alien race want to try and conquer a planet where the local population is clearly created for survival of the fittest, breed like rats on crack, is structured to run and fight like hell-spawn demons, has the intelligence to improvise, adapt and overcome and is imbued with an inner sense of cussedness where they just won't lay down and take it. An impossible planet, so impossible the local populations war with each other constantly. What would they be capable of if faced with a common enemy?

Better to go somewhere else where the trade goods aren't infested with war-seeking crazies.

This simple obvious fact doesn't sell movie scripts or hardback science fiction novels or comic books. It's immensely implausible for the Conspiracy Theory communities. And it's just not sexy to ask why would aliens want to try to take over Earth?
2013-04-10 03:59:15 PM  
1 vote:

Quantum Apostrophe: Hey aliens, you go the same stuff we do?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 790x450]

Naaw. Lots of Unobtainium, and a little Dilithium. Wanna trade?
2013-04-10 03:51:58 PM  
1 vote:

Caffandtranqs: The "We are afraid of our propensity for violence" should have been accompanied with "Please save us from ourselves."

We have a Small Talent for War
2013-04-10 02:45:47 PM  
1 vote:
Klaatu barada nikto
2013-04-10 01:28:41 PM  
1 vote:
25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
2013-04-10 12:52:13 PM  
1 vote:
Oh what the hell. One more:

So what did you guys do to Jesus when he came a-calling?
2013-04-10 12:51:43 PM  
1 vote:
"Enslave Canada or Holland first."
2013-04-10 12:49:35 PM  
1 vote:
You are in violation of the Prime Directive. You are visiting a pre-warp planet and have infected us with an unnatural thirst for technology. Or something. You are hereby ordered to turn over your ship, you weapons and your hotter females to me. I didn't write the Prime Directive even though it's known as the Harry Freakstorm Prime Directive, I just try and follow the parts of it that benefit me. So, show me how your toilet flushes, where the shifter for the warp drive is and un-ass that spaceship,
2013-04-10 12:49:00 PM  
1 vote:
The people in the following cities will try to kill you so use your death ray and destroy New York, Washington DC, Detroit, Seattle, New Orleans, Chicago and Los Angeles.  I'll add to this list later.
2013-04-10 12:45:06 PM  
1 vote:
Welcome to the Stuckeys of the universe. Those specials that you saw on the billboard out past Mars? Yeah. We're out of them. Yeah. We don't got none of them 99 cent pecan logs but we gots lots of the $2.99 ones.
2013-04-10 12:42:32 PM  
1 vote:
The people on Alpha Centauri said you guys were pussies. If you ever came around them, they'd beat you like a red headed stepchild.
2013-04-10 12:38:16 PM  
1 vote:
Run and hide, because the monsters are coming - the human race.
2013-04-10 12:25:20 PM  
1 vote:
Get me off this miserable rock.
2013-04-10 12:12:08 PM  
1 vote:
All Natural #erbal V!@gra!!! Please her in bed Genuine all natural pharma Ceutical the Secret big Pharmacies dont want u 2 Know!  OrDer Now!
2013-04-10 12:06:16 PM  
1 vote:
"Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"
2013-04-10 12:04:44 PM  
1 vote:
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure
How amazingly unlikely is your birth
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth
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