Knucklepopper: That was such a shocking bit of news; like finding out your fifth grade teacher died.But now I'm obsessed; what did Ebert say about Siskel's death in 1999? I can't find an obit him quoting anywhere.
Raptavio: I just want it stated explicitly that when Abe Vigoda finally shuffles off this mortal coil, I will personally hunt down and murder any of you farkers who start in with the "RIP (kinda sounds like the guy's name)" posts.You're pushing it with Ebert.
PanicMan: But you could always read his reviews, and learn exactly why he didn't like it. Often his well explained negative reviews got me more interested in seeing a movie than any other glowing positive review.
gunga galunga: SilentStrider: I hope his will contains a dig at Rob Schneider.No. Ebert stopped slagging on Rob Schneider after Rob sent him some flowers when he was first diagnosed with cancer with a card reading "from your least favorite actor".
srtpointman: I remember watching At the Movies. Very sad.
I Said: My jaw is on the floor at this news
bonzeemer: Why do a few assholes have to make jokes of somebodies death?
barneyfifesbullet: . He lost many admirers in the process
"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.The plot is incomprehensible. The dialog of the Autobots®, Decepticons® and Otherbots® is meaningless word flap. Their accents are Brooklyese, British and hip-hop, as befits a race from the distant stars. Their appearance looks like junkyard throw-up. They are dumb as a rock. They share the film with human characters who are much more interesting, and that is very faint praise indeed.The human actors are in a witless sitcom part of the time, and lot of the rest of their time is spent running in slo-mo away from explosions, although--hello!--you can't outrun an explosion. They also make speeches like this one by John Turturro: "Oh, no! The machine is buried in the pyramid! If they turn it on, it will destroy the sun! Not on my watch!" The humans, including lots of U.S. troops, shoot at the Transformers a lot, although never in the history of science fiction has an alien been harmed by gunfire.There are many great-looking babes in the film, who are made up to a flawless perfection and look just like real women, if you are a junior fanboy whose experience of the gender is limited to lad magazines. The two most inexplicable characters are Ron and Judy Witwicky (Kevin Dunn and Julie White), who are the parents of Shia LaBeouf, who Mephistopheles threw in to sweeten the deal. They take their son away to Princeton, apparently a party school, where Judy eats some pot and goes berserk. Later they swoop down out of the sky on Egypt, for reasons the movie doesn't make crystal clear, so they also can run in slo-mo from explosions.The battle scenes are bewildering. A Bot makes no visual sense anyway, but two or three tangled up together create an incomprehensible confusion. I find it amusing that creatures that can unfold out of a Camaro and stand four stories high do most of their fighting with...fists. Like I say, dumber than a box of staples. They have tiny little heads, although Jetfire® must be made of older models, since he has an aluminum beard.
http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2013/04/a_statement_from_chaz_ebert .ht ml
bigbobowski: gunga galunga: bigbobowski: are you kidding me? he turned himself into a sideshow freak! oh I know so sad. I know he couldn't feed himself anymore, but he could have ate a bullet. why not just get a V for vendetta mask and spare us the horrorI live with my momWorst attempt I've seen in a long time. And that includes the politics tab.worst attempt at what? I can't post my opinion because it is not the same as yours? let me know if this is better: He was a great man. granted he made his fortune watching movies, and telling you should go see them or not. 50 percent of the time he may have been right (in your opinion) the other 50 he was just some a**hole. who cares that he's dead. maybe his family and they should be. he added absolutely nothing to the human condition, except whether Aliens vs. Predators should get a thumbs up or thumbs down.
bigbobowski: are you kidding me? he turned himself into a sideshow freak! oh I know so sad. I know he couldn't feed himself anymore, but he could have ate a bullet. why not just get a V for vendetta mask and spare us the horror
dramboxf: The point is that the eyes rarely stay closed when you do that with a real dead body. Also, you never see them actually close the eyes; they just pass their hands over the eye "area". Try closing someone's eyes (dead or alive) with the pinky-edge of your hand. They do it that way, I'm almost certain, so as not to mess up the makeup.
Zapruder: The very last lines of his review of the new Evil Dead:"I love horror films that truly shock, scare and provoke. But after 30 years of this stuff, I'm bored to death and sick to death of movies that seem to have one goal: How can we gross out the audience by torturing nearly every major character in the movie?"Nice job, Sam Raimi.
Nana's Vibrator: GOOD NEWS EVERYONE! ROB SCHNEIDER CAN STAR IN MOVIES AGAIN!!!
dramboxf: rickythepenguin: No shiat? wow. that's awesome.Yeah.It used to appear at the end of his Movie Home Companion.Then he released a tiny little standalone version, "Ebert's Little Movie Glossary," and by that time I had five or six in it.Then The Bigger Little Movie Glossary came out with another six or so.It's been so long, I forgot what most of them are. I remember Hollywood Cop Car was mine, I think.This (when the site comes back up) is the last thing of mine that he published.This is killing me. I told my wife on the 2nd when he posted that he was taking a step back from reviewing that I didn't think he had a chance of making it to 2014. Little did I know he didn't have a chance at making it to Friday.
Mimic_Octopus: considering 90% of his reviews were absolutely off base and geared for the mcdonalds walmart church crowd, i dont see the big loss. like movies are even worth reviewing, if you want drama or education you read a fuking book, if you have 2 hours you need to kill, you watch a movie.
L.D. Ablo: More than anything, that show was genuine. Even reality TV is scripted today. But when Roger looked pissed off, he really was pissed off. Aside from sports, there's nothing genuine anywhere today.
Blues_X: Cancer... you go fark yourself.:(
Abe Vigoda's Ghost: So I wonder what they are reviewing tonight?
SilentStrider: I hope his will contains a dig at Rob Schneider.
HaywoodJablonski: Get ready for Roeper and White
Mike: He was one of us too. Sigh.
downstairs: Watched him growing up./sad.
jigger: Well, let's get it started.[25.media.tumblr.com image 180x252]RIP Hebert
DemonEater: That was quick, we just had the "Ebert cuts his workload" article about his cancer returning yesterday.
TWX: So much for a sequel to Beyond the Valley of the Dolls...
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