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(Apple Insider)   U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency openly frustrated that they cannot crack Apple's iMessage encryption to listen in on suspects   ( appleinsider.com) divider line
    More: Spiffy, DEA, encryption, Mac computers, Internet Crime Complaint Center  
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9675 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2013 at 3:56 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-04-04 03:48:10 PM  
7 votes:
What if the DEA cracked the encryption and want all drug dealers to use iMessage now thinking it's safe?

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2013-04-04 04:57:55 PM  
3 votes:

Uzzah: dittybopper: DanZero:
[imgs.xkcd.com image 448x274]

Assuming this is pointed at me, you can't be expected to remember a long string of random numbers that you destroyed immediately after use.

Makes it a lot harder for you to decrypt if you neither have nor can remember the key, though.

And sure, here's a block of text from a famous historical document encrypted according to my own uncrackable cipher:


Just try to crack that one, guys.


 Since, moveover, for God and the amendment of our kingdom and for the better allaying of the quarrel that has arisen between us and our barons, we have granted all these concessions, desirous that they should enjoy them in complete and firm endurance forever, we give and grant to them the underwritten security, namely, that the barons choose five and twenty barons of the kingdom, whomsoever they will, who shall be bound with all their might, to observe and hold, and cause to be observed, the peace and liberties we have granted and confirmed to them by this our present Charter, so that if we, or our justiciar, or our bailiffs or any one of our officers, shall in anything be at fault towards anyone, or shall have broken any one of the articles of this peace or of this security, and the offense be notified to four barons of the foresaid five and twenty, the said four barons shall repair to us (or our justiciar, if we are out of the realm) and, laying the transgression before us, petition to have that transgression redressed without delay. And if we shall not have corrected the transgression (or, in the event of our being out of the realm, if our justiciar shall not have corrected it) within forty days, reckoning from the time it has been intimated to us (or to our justiciar, if we should be out of the realm), the four barons aforesaid shall refer that matter to the rest of the five and twenty barons, and those five and twenty barons shall, together with the community of the whole realm, distrain and distress us in all possible ways, namely, by seizing our castles, lands, possessions, and in any other way they can, until redress has been obtained as they deem fit, saving harmless our own person, and the persons of our queen and children; and when redress has been obtained, they shall resume their old relations towards us. And let whoever in the country desires it, swear to obey the orders of the said five and twenty barons for the execution of all the aforesaid matters, and along with them, to molest us to the utmost of his power; and we publicly and freely grant leave to everyone who wishes to swear, and we shall never forbid anyone to swear. All those, moveover, in the land who of themselves and of their own accord are unwilling to swear to the twenty five to help them in constraining and molesting us, we shall by our command compel the same to swear to the effect foresaid. And if any one of the five and twenty barons shall have died or departed from the land, or be incapacitated in any other manner which would prevent the foresaid provisions being carried out, those of the said twenty five barons who are left shall choose another in his place according to their own judgment, and he shall be sworn in the same way as the others. Further, in all matters, the execution of which is entrusted,to these twenty five barons, if perchance these twenty five are present and disagree about anything, or if some of them, after being summoned, are unwilling or unable to be present, that which the majority of those present ordain or command shall be held as fixed and established, exactly as if the whole twenty five had concurred in this; and the said twenty five shall swear that they will faithfully observe all that is aforesaid, and cause it to be observed with all their might. And we shall procure nothing from anyone, directly or indirectly, whereby any part of these concessions and liberties might be revoked or diminished; and if any such things has been procured, let it be void and null, and we shall never use it personally or by another.
2013-04-04 04:11:53 PM  
3 votes:

dittybopper: DanZero:
[imgs.xkcd.com image 448x274]

Assuming this is pointed at me, you can't be expected to remember a long string of random numbers that you destroyed immediately after use.

Actually not only is it directed at you, Randall Munro originally created the comic with you in mind.  You're that big a deal.
2013-04-04 02:26:25 PM  
3 votes:

TommyymmoT: It's Drug Enforcement Administration, Not Drug Enforcement Agency.
In any case, those assholes are the problem, not the solution.

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2013-04-04 04:11:30 PM  
2 votes:
I didn't submit this link with a funnier headline...but I'm confident someone did.
2013-04-04 03:47:33 PM  
2 votes:
This is terrifying!

If the DEA can't read everybody's texts then the bad guys will win the drug war, causing black men to smoke pot and have sex with white women!

The 4th Amendment is NOT a suicide pact.
2013-04-04 02:02:46 PM  
2 votes:
It's Drug Enforcement Administration, Not Drug Enforcement Agency.
In any case, those assholes are the problem, not the solution.
2013-04-04 06:02:39 PM  
1 vote:
2013-04-04 04:52:04 PM  
1 vote:

A Shambling Mound: As far as I am aware no one has ever found a backdoor of any kind into any Microsoft operating system, working or otherwise. The simple presence of code allowing for that kind of operation would have been found by now if it existed. Further, if it existed it would have been exploited by malware authors.

For further proof, plenty of people have run Windows machines behind Linux box firewalls/bit-loggers (which have had code reviewed all the way down), and haven't seen any evidence of unanticipated communications.  Unless they're hiding their communications very cleverly (timing of packets or some such) or communicating some way other than the internet, there's not much evidence of backdoors.
2013-04-04 03:12:02 PM  
1 vote:
Well bless their hearts.
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