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(IndyStar)   Hooking up with a 16 yr. old girl you met on Facebook to have sex is usually going end being a police sting, or a group of people who are going to kick your ass and rob you. This time it wasn't the police   ( indystar.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department, Noblesville, sting operations, Facebook, Downtown Indianapolis, Indianapolis  
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14948 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Apr 2013 at 2:13 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-04-02 02:28:18 AM  
12 votes:
Ironically, I once made arrangements to be savagely beaten and robbed by a group of strangers on Facebook and instead had wild, animalistic, passionate sex with a 16 year old girl.

Never believe what you read online, people. It's all lies.
2013-04-02 08:21:52 AM  
7 votes:
Hi honey. Oh what a day. That Kellerman project is eating up all my time at work. I had to skip lunch. Sorry I'm late. I was driving home and there were 4, no, 6 full grown men beating up this teenage girl. Well, I had to stop the car and stop this horrible attack. No! No one else was doing anything about it. I called 911 but I got a busy signal. I guess that's because of the sequestration/fiscal cliff thing, right? Anyhow, I jumped right in. they didn't see me coming and I got the drop on them. A few karate chops and they ran like cowards. Well, I couldn't leave the girl there so I put her in the car and we drove to the hospital. She was really beaten up!

When I got to the hospital, I realized that I must have dropped my wallet. I'll bet it was when I was doing that flying roundhouse kick to the biggest, baddest guy. It really took him down. So I drove back to where I fought them and looked around. I saw them coming out of an Ambercrombie and Finch store with a bunch of stuff and my wallet so I laid in to them again. I went full Jackie Chang(*) on them.

I was so afraid that I might kill them with my patented Death Punch of Death, that I had to step back and let them limp away. They'll probably stop their even ways and join a ministry.

Anyhow, let me tell you about that Kellerman. He keeps submitting changes even though the close date was last week. The boss plays golf with him so he says "Let Kellerman get what he wants. He brought 14% more business in last year. He doesn't even use the correct change request form. He e-mails me the stuff and I have to fill out the form and chase him down to sign it.

(*) I know. He doesn't. Did you lose your place? I often do when there's a (*) and I look at the bottom of the page to see what it referring to. I really hate it when you gotta go to the end of the book to look. And it's a damn Michael Crichton novel and you have to dig though "Chapter 3 - 2 The Welsh Doctrine stated in 1992 that only a specific blend of cheeses and standard toast could constitute Welsh Rabbit. This was amended in 1994 with the Denny's Welsh Amendment when Texas Toast could be substituted. Welsh, Denny's Welsh Doctrine 1992 (amended 1994)." And it turns out, Michael Crichton made all this crap up! I cited a bunch of his stuff in college term papers. I'm not giving back my associate's degree in liberal arts just because he can't tell the truth.
2013-04-02 10:34:59 AM  
2 votes:
Ever hopeful guys.

The beauty of this is that the girl can contact him again on Facebook, apologize, saying it was never her intention, but her brother found out and he set up the whole thing as a 'lesson'. A couple of nude pics later, and she can meet up with the guy where they can rob him again.

/testosterone FTW!!
2013-04-02 07:05:55 AM  
2 votes:
It's kind of creepy how many Farkers are so familiar with age of consent laws.
2013-04-02 02:19:01 AM  
2 votes:
What?  Real 16-year-olds usually don't want to have sex with random creeps they meet on Facebook and such deals usually end badly?  Who'd a-thunk it?

/is 41 his age or IQ?
2013-04-02 02:18:24 AM  
2 votes:
He then drove back to his Far-Northside house, where he told his wife he had been robbed,

That's gotta be one hell of a conversation.
2013-04-03 02:13:36 AM  
1 vote:

untaken_name: missmez: If I had my way the age of consent would be 22 outside of the kid's peer group, and Im an atheist.

That's bizarrely arbitrary. Not that age of consent isn't arbitrary anyway, but 22? That's just weird. You're telling me that people would be old enough to go to war and old enough to drink and old enough to drive and old enough to start their own company and old enough to get a home loan....but not old enough to pick their own sexual partners? You're quite an authoritarian.

You're not paying attention.  I'm not saying they should't fark, I'm saying they shouldn't box outside their weight.  Now that you bring it up, I'm changing it to 28.
2013-04-02 06:27:08 PM  
1 vote:
While I normally don't approve of assault and battery as a means of making a living, I have to applaud the kids' entrepreneurial spirit here.  They figured out a winning business plan and carried it through successfully.
2013-04-02 10:36:09 AM  
1 vote:
Psycat: ,,,, Fat, balding, middle-aged, not rich or famous, just average or even below-average--and yet they have the delusion that smoking-hot 16-year-olds without serious mental issues just want to throw their bodies at them.  ,,,

I see you read my profile.
2013-04-02 09:15:39 AM  
1 vote:

Quantum Apostrophe: Hmm, why does Nature make youth so attractive?

Because those are the ones who know how to work a 3D printer.
2013-04-02 08:10:49 AM  
1 vote:
Why don't you have a gurney right over there?
2013-04-02 07:39:21 AM  
1 vote:

UtopianDevil: untaken_name: Neondistraction: And as someone else already pointed out, merchants aren't required to check for ID unless the card is unsigned.

Which would first require them to examine the card, which no retailer I've done business with in the past 5 years has done.

I haven't signed the back of a credit card in over ten years. No merchant has ever mentioned it.

I signed mine with 'poop' and a little drawing of a turd with flies. In 7 years I've had one person go 'uh....okay', but that was about it.
2013-04-02 04:41:05 AM  
1 vote:

Psycat: I've known way too many people like this guy.  Fat, balding, middle-aged, not rich or famous, just average or even below-average--and yet they have the delusion that smoking-hot 16-year-olds without serious mental issues just want to throw their bodies at them.  WTF?

To be fair, now that I have somehow survived into my early 40s I do think I might conceivably stand a chance with a smoking hot 16 year old, provided she has intense daddy issues. And is blind. And also stupid and possibly suffering dementia as well.
2013-04-02 02:46:49 AM  
1 vote:
farm5.staticflickr.comView Full Size
2013-04-02 02:35:17 AM  
1 vote:
Why were they able to use his credit cards?  Did the merchants not even bother to ask for ID with a gaggle of teenagers buying tons of expensive shiat?
2013-04-02 02:33:47 AM  
1 vote:
"Have a seat right over there.. and give me your wallet and keys."
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