FARK.com: (7657983) Further proof that those making technology laws have no clue what they're doing: Watch Congressman Louie Gohmert try to question a Google rep about e-mail privacy

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		Further proof that those making technology laws have no clue what they're doing: Watch Congressman Louie Gohmert try to question a Google rep about e-mail privacy ( boingboing.net)		98
		More: Dumbass, Louie Gohmert, Gmail, Google, Electronic Communications Privacy Act, Techdirt, AdWords, Gohmert try, Google rep

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Dinki

2013-03-21 02:41:23 PM

Silly Subby - Gohmert has no clue about anything, much less technology. He makes the Potato kid look like a farking mensa candidate. He truly is one of the most ignorant human beings on the planet.

MaudlinMutantMollusk

2013-03-21 02:43:40 PM

Gohmert couldn't spell CAT if you spotted him the C-A-_

/the pride of the Republican party

what_now

2013-03-21 02:55:24 PM

This..this is almost exactly how this conversation would go if I tried explaining Google to my dad.

Of course, my dad is a 70 year old high school dropout who spent his whole life a truck driver, not a United States Congressman.

/not dissing my dad. Hardest worker I've ever met.

Relatively Obscure

2013-03-21 02:58:19 PM

How the hell does that Google rep support his own head? He looks kinda like that "Mm'kay" dude from South Park.

TuteTibiImperes

2013-03-21 02:59:19 PM

There are a few good ones out there. Zoe Lofgren in CA and Ron Wyden in OR both seem to have a solid grasp on internet technology and have for the most part been on the correct side of things in terms of debates and legislature concerning it.

Dr Dreidel

2013-03-21 03:02:00 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Gohmert couldn't spell CAT if you spotted him the C-A-_

"Come on, Louie. 'Cat' - C-A..."
"Benghazi!"
"For the fortieth time, no. Look, try sounding it out in your head: 'cat'. Ca-tuh. What letter makes the 'tuh' sound, Louie?"
"Global warming is a hoax perpetuated by communists and gays to steal our military technology!"
"[sigh] Yes. Fine. Whatever. Have some paste - '010 was a good year."

Cyberluddite

2013-03-21 03:02:25 PM

As stupid as Gohmert comes off in this clip, it's not even on the top 100 list of stupidest things that farking moron had said. The motherfarker is so dumb I doubt he can even tie his own shoes without help.

In other words, he's a perfect representative for his constitutents in the great state of Texas.

MaudlinMutantMollusk

2013-03-21 03:03:27 PM

Cyberluddite: As stupid as Gohmert comes off in this clip, it's not even on the top 100 list of stupidest things that farking moron had said. The motherfarker is so dumb I doubt he can even tie his own shoes without help.

In other words, he's a perfect representative for his constitutents in the great state of Texas.

He has to wear loafers

Cyberluddite

2013-03-21 03:04:02 PM

Dr Dreidel: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Gohmert couldn't spell CAT if you spotted him the C-A-_

"Come on, Louie. 'Cat' - C-A..."
"Benghazi!"
"For the fortieth time, no. Look, try sounding it out in your head: 'cat'. Ca-tuh. What letter makes the 'tuh' sound, Louie?"
"Global warming is a hoax perpetuated by communists and gays to steal our military technology!"
"[sigh] Yes. Fine. Whatever. Have some paste - '010 was a good year."

Oh, come on, at least he's able to spell things out phonetically. Which is why, near the beginning of the thing, he pronounces the word "vendor" as "ven-DOOR."

TuteTibiImperes

2013-03-21 03:05:08 PM

what_now: This..this is almost exactly how this conversation would go if I tried explaining Google to my dad.

Of course, my dad is a 70 year old high school dropout who spent his whole life a truck driver, not a United States Congressman.

/not dissing my dad. Hardest worker I've ever met.

It seems that the congressman's fundamental misunderstanding is that he thinks Google sells companies lists of people talking about certain things so that those companies can advertise to them, instead of realizing that Google handles it all internally. Somehow he doesn't seem to understand that Google is effectively the advertising agency.

There are companies that sell personal information to third parties for advertising purposes, and that is a worthwhile concern to address, he just picked the wrong person to talk to about it.

what_now

2013-03-21 03:11:56 PM

TuteTibiImperes: what_now: This..this is almost exactly how this conversation would go if I tried explaining Google to my dad.

Of course, my dad is a 70 year old high school dropout who spent his whole life a truck driver, not a United States Congressman.

/not dissing my dad. Hardest worker I've ever met.

It seems that the congressman's fundamental misunderstanding is that he thinks Google sells companies lists of people talking about certain things so that those companies can advertise to them, instead of realizing that Google handles it all internally. Somehow he doesn't seem to understand that Google is effectively the advertising agency.

There are companies that sell personal information to third parties for advertising purposes, and that is a worthwhile concern to address, he just picked the wrong person to talk to about it.

Yes, and when that person explained it to him, he simply couldn't understand. It's like when someone tries to explain astrophysics to a cat.

impaler

2013-03-21 03:34:04 PM

TuteTibiImperes: It seems that the congressman's fundamental misunderstanding is that he thinks Google sells companies lists of people talking about certain things so that those companies can advertise to them, instead of realizing that Google handles it all internally. Somehow he doesn't seem to understand that Google is effectively the advertising agency.

There are companies that sell personal information to third parties for advertising purposes, and that is a worthwhile concern to address, he just picked the wrong person to talk to about it.

You're doing a good job defending Google. Also, I would like to state "Benghazi."

Now excuse me, I have to go run for Senate as a Republican in 26 minutes.

mrshowrules

2013-03-21 04:20:14 PM

This is painful to watch. Also the guy from Google is trying to hard to be polite. The first couple answers should have been simply "No."

Or, "No, we don't five E-mail or any other information to other customers."

Or, "The E-mails have ads on the screen automatically triggered by words in the users E-mails."

I could be a better PR spokesman than that guy with about 30 minutes prep time. If you want to be polite the answer is "No Congressman" or "No Sir".

mrshowrules

2013-03-21 04:20:50 PM

mrshowrules: This is painful to watch. Also the guy from Google is trying to hard to be polite. The first couple answers should have been simply "No."

Or, "No, we don't provideE-mail or any other information to other customers."

Or, "The E-mails have ads on the screen automatically triggered by words in the users E-mails."

I could be a better PR spokesman than that guy with about 30 minutes prep time. If you want to be polite the answer is "No Congressman" or "No Sir".

Ahhh_Ennui

2013-03-21 04:21:26 PM

I have an uncle who is a Very Successful Job Creator, but is dumber than Sarah Palin's left tit. His yahoo account was hacked, and his daughter told him he should set up a gmail account. His response was incredible: "I am NOT going to use government email!"

Yes. Gmail is obviously a government entitlement. Just look at the G in its name!

/css

mrshowrules

2013-03-21 04:26:17 PM

Ahhh_Ennui: I have an uncle who is a Very Successful Job Creator, but is dumber than Sarah Palin's left tit. His yahoo account was hacked, and his daughter told him he should set up a gmail account. His response was incredible: "I am NOT going to use government email!"

Yes. Gmail is obviously a government entitlement. Just look at the G in its name!

/css

Tell him to Google "G-Spot" which is a web-site of all the internet spaces used by the Government.

Rincewind53

2013-03-21 04:37:03 PM

Gohmert is a complete idiot, but the Google Rep could have explained AdSense better.

IgG4

2013-03-21 04:42:09 PM

Look, it's a series of tubes, what more do you need to know?

StreetlightInTheGhetto

2013-03-21 04:42:56 PM

Car_Ramrod

2013-03-21 04:44:10 PM

"Would you discriminate against the government, or would you allow the government to know about all emails that included those words?"

"Uh... sir, I think those are apples and oranges. I think the disclosure of the identity..."

"I'm not asking for a fruit comparison. I'm just asking would you be willing to make that deal with the government?"

Ho. Ly. Crap. This sounds like something Colbert would say.

CheetahOlivetti

2013-03-21 04:44:38 PM

Gohmert: I'm not asking for a fruit comparison.

StubhyGraham

2013-03-21 04:45:07 PM

Just one time, I wish someone would answer the teatards questions with, "cause jesus" just to see what they would do. For example:

Graham: "Mr. Hagel, what exactly happened in Benghazi?"
Hagel: "Well, senator, I'm gonna have to go with Jesus on this one."
Graham: "What does Jesus have to do with that?"
Hagel: "Are you questioning Jesus' master plan, Senator Graham? Are you claiming our lord and savior to be infallible?"
Graham: (hoisted by his own petard)

Peter von Nostrand

2013-03-21 04:45:12 PM

I just the other day got an Internet sent at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday. I got it yesterday. Why? Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the Internet commercially.

StreetlightInTheGhetto

2013-03-21 04:45:43 PM

Delusional help-I'm-being-oppressed types took to calling Gmail Government-Mail because of Google's liberal stances/support of liberal candidates/whatever dumbass reason/excuse not to move from AOL even though it's a great example of failed business and not changing with the times / whatever.

So your uncle heard someone call it Government Mail and took it literally, because of course he would. Because the type of person to believe that in the first place isn't the type to question.

Sigh.

Peter von Nostrand

2013-03-21 04:46:29 PM

StreetlightInTheGhetto: [colecamplese.typepad.com image 456x335]

[farm1.staticflickr.com image 500x375]

Bah... I should have refreshed.

StreetlightInTheGhetto

2013-03-21 04:46:41 PM

CheetahOlivetti: Gohmert: I'm not asking for a fruit comparison.

oh boy.

A lot of fun could be had with this.

make me some tea

2013-03-21 04:46:46 PM

I could say the same thing about my dad except replace truck driver with HVAC technician.

He's barely ever used a computer and doesn't understand why he'd want to.

I remember showing him how cool Google Street View was one time and he said "Great, so now the government can look in your windows and watch you take a shower? That's dangerous right there."

Into the blue again

2013-03-21 04:48:12 PM

Oh. My. God.

GreatGlavinsGhost

2013-03-21 04:49:28 PM

StreetlightInTheGhetto: [colecamplese.typepad.com image 456x335]

[farm1.staticflickr.com image 500x375]

Link

StreetlightInTheGhetto

2013-03-21 04:50:56 PM

Peter von Nostrand: StreetlightInTheGhetto: [colecamplese.typepad.com image 456x335]

[farm1.staticflickr.com image 500x375]

Bah... I should have refreshed.

To be fair, I watched that clip this morning. It was in one of the Daily Show's we're-on-vacation-again-biatches, but-we'll-throw-you-a-bone montages.

Bareefer Obonghit

2013-03-21 04:52:14 PM

Notice this fancy, big-city lawyer never actually answered the question. How can our privacy be protected from Google if we don't know how their ad machines work? If we don't get some straight talk out of these computer nerds we'll never know how compromised our privacy is by these non existent practices. Comparing apples and oranges? More like comparing Apple and Communism. Same damn goals, different leader. I'll bet 0bamao is smiling in his throne room right now at how Google is selling our private information to ourselves.

Maud Dib

2013-03-21 04:52:14 PM

Fixed that for me.
We tend to know what technology is here in the Silicon Hills of Austin, Texas.
It's a whole 'nother country out there. A no-liquor, God-fearing, retarded cousin-farking country.
We might as well give it to Louisiana or Arkansas.

RealityChuck

2013-03-21 04:52:43 PM

The Google rep is doing a piss-poor job of explaining the situation. If the congressman is ignorant, the Google rep is even worse.

He should have given an example: An advertiser sells cars. If mail comes in with the word "cars" in it, that advertiser's ad will show. But the advertiser does not know who's looking at it any more than an advertiser knows who's looking at one of their billboards on the highway.

As for other questions about the government, the answer is, "No, senator. Google does not work that way and it would be impossible to do what you describe."

what_now

2013-03-21 04:53:30 PM

make me some tea: what_now: This..this is almost exactly how this conversation would go if I tried explaining Google to my dad.

Of course, my dad is a 70 year old high school dropout who spent his whole life a truck driver, not a United States Congressman.

/not dissing my dad. Hardest worker I've ever met.

I could say the same thing about my dad except replace truck driver with HVAC technician.

He's barely ever used a computer and doesn't understand why he'd want to.

I remember showing him how cool Google Street View was one time and he said "Great, so now the government can look in your windows and watch you take a shower? That's dangerous right there."

Oh God, we got my dad a GPS and he got all confused about how the thing knew where his house was, and he didn't like it, not one little bit. We had to take it back.

Rann Xerox

2013-03-21 04:54:38 PM

CheetahOlivetti: Gohmert: I'm not asking for a fruit comparison.

"Louie Gohmert, with apples and oranges."

StreetlightInTheGhetto

2013-03-21 04:55:59 PM

GreatGlavinsGhost: StreetlightInTheGhetto: [colecamplese.typepad.com image 456x335]

[farm1.staticflickr.com image 500x375]

Link

Aw, I forgot about that.

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-july-12-2006/headlines---inter ne t

Daily Show coverage of it, fwiw.

/forgot when Stevens said it he was head of the Commerce committee
//sigh

tnpir

2013-03-21 04:58:13 PM

Gohmert is at the front of the list of Members of Congress Who Need to be Punched in the Face. Repeatedly.

/see also: Bachman, King, Cantor, Stockman, and most GOP Senators

TuteTibiImperes

2013-03-21 05:00:24 PM

what_now: make me some tea: what_now: This..this is almost exactly how this conversation would go if I tried explaining Google to my dad.

Of course, my dad is a 70 year old high school dropout who spent his whole life a truck driver, not a United States Congressman.

/not dissing my dad. Hardest worker I've ever met.

I could say the same thing about my dad except replace truck driver with HVAC technician.

He's barely ever used a computer and doesn't understand why he'd want to.

I remember showing him how cool Google Street View was one time and he said "Great, so now the government can look in your windows and watch you take a shower? That's dangerous right there."

Oh God, we got my dad a GPS and he got all confused about how the thing knew where his house was, and he didn't like it, not one little bit. We had to take it back.

My dad was convinced the internet was slow because my little sister was downloading anime which had somehow attracted hackers.

I also had a hell of a time trying to explain to an older co worker that if he wanted internet access at his home he had to buy some form of service ("But the laptop is wireless" "Yes, but that just allows it to connect to the router, the router still needs to be connected to an ISP" "But it works here at work" "Because we have internet service here attached to the routers" "So I just have to buy a router? I just want the internet without having to pay money every month" "*Facepalm*")

Dee Snarl

2013-03-21 05:00:30 PM

Dr Dreidel: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Gohmert couldn't spell CAT if you spotted him the C-A-_

"Come on, Louie. 'Cat' - C-A..."
"Benghazi!"

Oh god, I'm dying over here. I'm drawing attention to myself. Have my babies...

Rapmaster2000

2013-03-21 05:01:00 PM

Maud Dib: Cyberluddite: As stupid as Gohmert comes off in this clip, it's not even on the top 100 list of stupidest things that farking moron had said. The motherfarker is so dumb I doubt he can even tie his own shoes without help.

In other words, he's a perfect representative for his constitutents in the great state of East Texas.

Fixed that for me.
We tend to know what technology is here in the Silicon Hills of Austin, Texas.
It's a whole 'nother country out there. A no-liquor, God-fearing, retarded cousin-farking country.
We might as well give it to Louisiana or Arkansas.

[www.ece.utexas.edu image 565x605]

Had a call with ALU-Motive out of there a few months ago.

Rapmaster2000

2013-03-21 05:03:23 PM

I think he's saying that the tubes are crammed with men made of straw.

Maud Dib

2013-03-21 05:04:09 PM

Rapmaster2000: Maud Dib: Cyberluddite: As stupid as Gohmert comes off in this clip, it's not even on the top 100 list of stupidest things that farking moron had said. The motherfarker is so dumb I doubt he can even tie his own shoes without help.

In other words, he's a perfect representative for his constitutents in the great state of East Texas.

Fixed that for me.
We tend to know what technology is here in the Silicon Hills of Austin, Texas.
It's a whole 'nother country out there. A no-liquor, God-fearing, retarded cousin-farking country.
We might as well give it to Louisiana or Arkansas.

[www.ece.utexas.edu image 565x605]

Had a call with ALU-Motive out of there a few months ago.

It's an older poster, but things are hopping around here. We weathered the shiatstorm of the last few years pretty well, job-wise.

DeaH

2013-03-21 05:09:43 PM

How can we turn this privacy into a sage argument about Benghazi? How about a dumb argument about Benghazi?

Score!

Chummer45

2013-03-21 05:10:14 PM

I'm surprised he didn't ask

"so what if the government wanted to enter a deal where you would send them a list of every person who talks about guns or the NRA in their emails, and the government used that information to find second amendment patriots and then kill them with drone strikes?"

"So what if the President used gmail, and he sent an email to the secretary of state saying, 'great job writing the lies that we used to cover up the fact that my criminal negligence got people killed in Benghazi.' Would google's computers sell that email to advertisers?"

Gohmert is basically a living parody of the utterly stupid, useless congressman.

runwiz

2013-03-21 05:13:19 PM

The fact that Louie Gohmert can refer to anyone else as a simpleton is mind-boggling unless you adhere to the belief that it takes one to know one. The person from Google has to understand that in dealing with many Congressmen over technology issues you have to start with the assumption that they know less than nothing and go from there. They should offer him and his staff a private briefing to explain how it all works.

Kome

2013-03-21 05:16:50 PM

For whatever reason, that reminded me of a scene from the Sarah Palin parody porn video where they had a vocal coach try and get Palin to say something besides "you betcha"

make me some tea

2013-03-21 05:19:07 PM

what_now: Oh God, we got my dad a GPS and he got all confused about how the thing knew where his house was, and he didn't like it, not one little bit. We had to take it back.

LOL! My mom got dad a GPS but I don't think he could figure it out.

TuteTibiImperes: My dad was convinced the internet was slow because my little sister was downloading anime which had somehow attracted hackers.

I also had a hell of a time trying to explain to an older co worker that if he wanted internet access at his home he had to buy some form of service ("But the laptop is wireless" "Yes, but that just allows it to connect to the router, the router still needs to be connected to an ISP" "But it works here at work" "Because we have internet service here attached to the routers" "So I just have to buy a router? I just want the internet without having to pay money every month" "*Facepalm*")

Wow...

When Wikileaks was all in the news last year, the CFO of the company came up to me and said "Is our network secured from Wikileaks hacking in and downloading our data?" (we are a health insurance brokerage/billing admin firm)

wamser

2013-03-21 05:20:45 PM

what_now: TuteTibiImperes: what_now: This..this is almost exactly how this conversation would go if I tried explaining Google to my dad.

Of course, my dad is a 70 year old high school dropout who spent his whole life a truck driver, not a United States Congressman.

/not dissing my dad. Hardest worker I've ever met.

It seems that the congressman's fundamental misunderstanding is that he thinks Google sells companies lists of people talking about certain things so that those companies can advertise to them, instead of realizing that Google handles it all internally. Somehow he doesn't seem to understand that Google is effectively the advertising agency.

There are companies that sell personal information to third parties for advertising purposes, and that is a worthwhile concern to address, he just picked the wrong person to talk to about it.

Yes, and when that person explained it to him, he simply couldn't understand. It's like when someone tries to explain astrophysics to a cat.

Nope, that's actually much easier

http://www.amazon.com/How-Teach-Physics-Your-Dog/dp/1416572295

/old professor of mine wrote it
//good book

SisterMaryElephant

2013-03-21 05:21:02 PM

Jesus farking Christ

BEN
GHA
ZI

BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI

and
HUFFINGTON LIBERALLIEPOTTYSMASH POST

oh, did you know
BEN
GHA
ZI

Nemo's Brother

2013-03-21 05:24:13 PM

Clearly we need more government and more people like this making more laws!

Yay Obama!

Gyrfalcon

2013-03-21 05:28:36 PM

Rincewind53: Gohmert is a complete idiot, but the Google Rep could have explained AdSense better.

Gohmert doesn't understand that "apples and oranges" is a metaphor for two things that are different. You think he'd EVER understand what AdSense is all about?

USA Prime Credit Peggy

2013-03-21 05:38:52 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Cyberluddite: As stupid as Gohmert comes off in this clip, it's not even on the top 100 list of stupidest things that farking moron had said. The motherfarker is so dumb I doubt he can even tie his own shoes without help.

In other words, he's a perfect representative for his constitutents in the great state of Texas.

He has to wear loafers

Chummer45

2013-03-21 05:41:21 PM

Gyrfalcon: Rincewind53: Gohmert is a complete idiot, but the Google Rep could have explained AdSense better.

Gohmert doesn't understand that "apples and oranges" is a metaphor for two things that are different. You think he'd EVER understand what AdSense is all about?

This. The man is an effing idiot. More importantly, he had no interest in actually understanding what Google does, or what very real privacy concerns are associated with those practices. He just wanted to sit there and look "tough" and talk about Benghazi and how evil the government is because Obama is in charge of it. Oh, he asked all of his questions as though he actually understood Google's practices, even though it was very obviously that he had no idea what he was talking about.

It's a pretty good case study in how utterly worthless and stupid congress can be. I'm pretty sure congress has devolved to the point where it's just full of hacks who loudly grandstand for their constituents, while quietly passing any meaningful legislation (without understanding what they were passing) simply because a lobbyist or their political party told them to.

goatleggedfellow

2013-03-21 05:46:37 PM

Gohmert wonders why you shouldn't back-hack and fry the computer that hacked yours. Lawyer keeps a straight face.

http://ustre.am/_21EUj:1oJ1

DrD'isInfotainment

2013-03-21 05:48:37 PM

Dinki: Silly Subby - Gohmert has no clue about anything, much less technology. He makes the Potato kid look like a farking mensa candidate. He truly is one of the most ignorant human beings on the planet.

And he clearly surrounds himself with meat-heads, judging by the guy in background, and clearly judging by that guys replacement, he likes empty-headed redheads around just in case,well y'know...

jesus, She almost picks her nose...which would have been awesome

HellRaisingHoosier

2013-03-21 05:50:51 PM

To be honest, I don't think the Congressmen from Texas came off as stupid, just a little ignorant. That said, Google DOES discriminate who they allow their information to go to. However, with the correct warrants in place, I'm sure the government could strong-arm Google into letting them get whatever information.

Google's systems scan your emails for key words then they match up people who have bought ad space from them with your email. Automated or not, they are browsing through what you've written.

MaudlinMutantMollusk

2013-03-21 05:51:19 PM

DrD'isInfotainment: Dinki: Silly Subby - Gohmert has no clue about anything, much less technology. He makes the Potato kid look like a farking mensa candidate. He truly is one of the most ignorant human beings on the planet.

And he clearly surrounds himself with meat-heads, judging by the guy in background, and clearly judging by that guys replacement, he likes empty-headed redheads around just in case,well y'know...

jesus, She almost picks her nose...which would have been awesome

Must have been hungry

shanrick

2013-03-21 05:59:24 PM

goatleggedfellow: Gohmert wonders why you shouldn't back-hack and fry the computer that hacked yours. Lawyer keeps a straight face.

http://ustre.am/_21EUj:1oJ1

What a strange man. His private life must be a constant loop of old twilight zone episodes.

DrD'isInfotainment

2013-03-21 06:02:33 PM

RealityChuck: He should have given an example:

That was a he?

Heraclitus

2013-03-21 06:06:18 PM

HA, I've got you now!

I didnt understand a word you said...

What are you trying to HIDE?

/ Burn him! He's a WITCH!

Curious

2013-03-21 06:07:34 PM

Chummer45: This. The man is an effing idiot. More importantly, he had no interest in actually understanding what Google does, or what very real privacy concerns are associated with those practices. He just wanted to sit there and look "tough" and talk about Benghazi and how evil the government is because Obama is in charge of it. Oh, he asked all of his questions as though he actually understood Google's practices, even though it was very obviously that he had no idea what he was talking about.

that was the most annoying part. i don't want to know how much grandstanding goes on at those hearings.

fusillade762

2013-03-21 06:10:02 PM

Car_Ramrod: "Would you discriminate against the government, or would you allow the government to know about all emails that included those words?"

"Uh... sir, I think those are apples and oranges. I think the disclosure of the identity..."

"I'm not asking for a fruit comparison. I'm just asking would you be willing to make that deal with the government?"

Ho. Ly. Crap. This sounds like something Colbert would say.

Stupid quote of the month right there. Meme-worthy.

/I'm sorry, that's not a fruit question.

impaler

2013-03-21 06:10:39 PM

goatleggedfellow: Gohmert wonders why you shouldn't back-hack and fry the computer that hacked yours. Lawyer keeps a straight face.

http://ustre.am/_21EUj:1oJ1

What a farking piece of shat. This is typical of authoritarian scum. When the "well, making it legal to counter-hack someone is complicated. You don't know who is hacking you. They could be routing... For instance you think some French Company..."

Dumbarse Republican: "Why you want to protect hackers?"

Lord_Baull

2013-03-21 06:12:50 PM

Just think, there was a time when our representatives were voted into office because of their charisma, intelligence or diplomacy.

aug3

2013-03-21 06:29:08 PM

the best part is how he plans to use this to read people's emails. since emails are small, I guess he really is for small government.

also, i'm sure all the teabadgers will be delighted since they are constantly emailing about Benghazi

dababler

2013-03-21 06:45:33 PM

People if you know anyone who lives in his district reach out to them, make sure they go out and vote against him in the next election. We (smart people) need to do heavy outreach in that district. If you are a Republican even you guys shouldn't want this retard on your side.

for the record Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) is as stupid when it comes to technology, watch her try and explain IP addresses sometime.

sabreWulf07

2013-03-21 06:48:14 PM

HellRaisingHoosier: Google's systems scan your emails for key words then they match up people who have bought ad space from them with your email. Automated or not, they are browsing through what you've written.

This is wrong. Nobody gets your email, it's a realtime system that matches keywords to ads. The parser is not reading your email in the way a person would, it just finds words that match a list.

Dr. Goldshnoz

2013-03-21 06:57:26 PM

StreetlightInTheGhetto: [colecamplese.typepad.com image 456x335]

[farm1.staticflickr.com image 500x375]

that 2nd pic lol what the fark?!

Gilligann

2013-03-21 06:58:00 PM

RealityChuck: "No, senator. Google does not work that way and it would be impossible to do what you describe."

So you would discriminate against the government?

sinanju

2013-03-21 07:01:10 PM

Gohmert is a moron of the first order. That said, the Google guy was doing a really bad job of explaining things. Once he recognized Gohmert wasn't getting it, he should have used an analogy.

1870's salon: Blacksmith gives a bartender a stack of cards and tells him to hand them out to anyone he hears talking about shoeing his horse. Blacksmith pays bartender to do it and Blacksmith never knows what was said in the salon or who said it.

Instead, Google guy let Gohmert get away intentionally ignorant and when Gohmert makes ridiculous claims in the future, he can point to Google as the source.

Yuri Futanari

2013-03-21 07:12:40 PM

sabreWulf07: HellRaisingHoosier: Google's systems scan your emails for key words then they match up people who have bought ad space from them with your email. Automated or not, they are browsing through what you've written.

This is wrong. Nobody gets your email, it's a realtime system that matches keywords to ads. The parser is not reading your email in the way a person would, it just finds words that match a list.

So you're telling me that Google is helping the government put you on a list because of what you may have said in a private email?

/Benghazi

StreetlightInTheGhetto

2013-03-21 07:13:06 PM

Dr. Goldshnoz: StreetlightInTheGhetto: [colecamplese.typepad.com image 456x335]

[farm1.staticflickr.com image 500x375]

that 2nd pic lol what the fark?!

jigger

2013-03-21 07:21:20 PM

Lord_Baull: Just think, there was a time when our representatives were voted into office because of their charisma, intelligence or diplomacy.

Those are just the ones that made it into the history books. The majority have always been crooked retards.

impaler

2013-03-21 07:22:36 PM

sinanju: Gohmert is a moron of the first order. That said, the Google guy was doing a really bad job of explaining things. Once he recognized Gohmert wasn't getting it, he should have used an analogy.

Like apples and oranges?

gas giant

2013-03-21 07:24:42 PM

This is the man who can't understand continental drift, evolution or that the earth is more than 6000 years old.
I'm not exactly surprised.

HellRaisingHoosier

2013-03-21 07:25:03 PM

sabreWulf07:
This is wrong. Nobody gets your email, it's a realtime system that matches keywords to ads. The parser is not reading your email in the way a person would, it just finds words that match a list.

I think maybe I worded it incorrectly or you are misunderstanding me. Google isn't GIVING any information, they are making a connection. They are able to make the connection because they have read/scanned/automated/browsed the content of your email box.

Yuri Futanari:
So you're telling me that Google is helping the government put you on a list because of what you may have said in a private email?

/Benghazi

I am telling you that Google has a record of EVERYTHING you have emailed or searched from their services. So if you did Google the word Benghazi, and the U.S. Government came knocking with warrants, police and guns ... that Google WOULD hand that information over.

fusillade762

2013-03-21 07:30:43 PM

impaler: sinanju: Gohmert is a moron of the first order. That said, the Google guy was doing a really bad job of explaining things. Once he recognized Gohmert wasn't getting it, he should have used an analogy.

Like apples and oranges?

I'm not asking for a fruit comparison.

Duke Phillips' Singing Bears

2013-03-21 07:35:34 PM

Mr. Gohmert does not accept emails from users outside of his district. However, Mr. Gohmert is also very stupid. So the page that kicks you out is one search result above the page that lets you send an email.

Anyway: here is the email I sent this stupid, stupid man.

Mr. Gohmert,
Although not in your district, I felt your honorable person was in need of some assistance, and so I find myself assisting.
I watched, with a great deal of trepidation and no insignificant amount of indigestion, your understandable difficulties in grasping the finer points of Google's targeted email marketing. I wish to help. Here is how it functions:
1) Advertiser buys keywords
2) Advertiser creates advertisement
3) Google saves advertisement for later
4) Google finds those keywords in a user's emails and web searches
5) Google displays saved advertisement for user
That's it. That's AdWords in five steps. It is not insidious. I hope that helps.

Bathia_Mapes

2013-03-21 07:46:22 PM

Jesus Christ! I'm 60 years old and I understand how Google Adwords works. It's not rocket science for Pete's safe!

Lenny_da_Hog

2013-03-21 08:23:40 PM

gas giant: This is the man who can't understand continental drift, evolution or that the earth is more than 6000 years old.
I'm not exactly surprised.

But he does know how to appeal to Texans who want their school books turned into proselytizing and propaganda.

/surprised he isn't more computer literate, considering he's a Texas Instrument.

make me some tea

2013-03-21 08:24:03 PM

Duke Phillips' Singing Bears: Mr. Gohmert does not accept emails from users outside of his district. However, Mr. Gohmert is also very stupid. So the page that kicks you out is one search result above the page that lets you send an email.

Anyway: here is the email I sent this stupid, stupid man.

Mr. Gohmert,
Although not in your district, I felt your honorable person was in need of some assistance, and so I find myself assisting.
I watched, with a great deal of trepidation and no insignificant amount of indigestion, your understandable difficulties in grasping the finer points of Google's targeted email marketing. I wish to help. Here is how it functions:
1) Advertiser buys keywords
2) Advertiser creates advertisement
3) Google saves advertisement for later
4) Google finds those keywords in a user's emails and web searches
5) Google displays saved advertisement for user
That's it. That's AdWords in five steps. It is not insidious. I hope that helps.

You might have to explain "keyword" to him.

ifarkthereforiam

2013-03-21 08:45:46 PM

Here's a scary thought. Gohmert and Michele Bachmann producing off-spring!

Phoenix87ta

2013-03-21 08:50:06 PM

make me some tea: Duke Phillips' Singing Bears: Mr. Gohmert does not accept emails from users outside of his district. However, Mr. Gohmert is also very stupid. So the page that kicks you out is one search result above the page that lets you send an email.

Anyway: here is the email I sent this stupid, stupid man.

Mr. Gohmert,
Although not in your district, I felt your honorable person was in need of some assistance, and so I find myself assisting.
I watched, with a great deal of trepidation and no insignificant amount of indigestion, your understandable difficulties in grasping the finer points of Google's targeted email marketing. I wish to help. Here is how it functions:
1) Advertiser buys keywords
2) Advertiser creates advertisement
3) Google saves advertisement for later
4) Google finds those keywords in a user's emails and web searches
5) Google displays saved advertisement for user
That's it. That's AdWords in five steps. It is not insidious. I hope that helps.

You might have to explain "keyword" to him.

As well as "honorable," "trepidation," "indigestion," "insidious" and "assistance"

zerkalo

2013-03-21 08:59:56 PM

He took his mouth off of an oil company's CEO's dick long enough to ask a question? Shocking

BarkingUnicorn

2013-03-21 09:09:23 PM

Guys, he got it. He knows that Google doesn't give email addresses to advertisers. He kept cutting off pencil-neck's attempts to get that on the record. He kept repeating his own conscious lie.

Lenny_da_Hog

2013-03-21 09:25:08 PM

"Now, you send your Geek Squad cars out to ransack and loot private homes for your customers. Would you do that for the Federal Government?"

"Now, you offer murder-for-hire services for your clients. Would you do that for the Federal Government?"

"You steal babies from adoption centers and use their blood in Satanic rituals before torturing them to death for your clients. Would you offer those services to the Federal Government as well?"

theknuckler_33

2013-03-21 10:45:09 PM

In fairness, understanding an issue has absolutely nothing to do with the manner in which a witness is questioned. The witness was cut off numerous times before he was able to make a point explaining the congressman's (senator's?) apparent misunderstanding and was cut off each time.

I don't doubt, necessarily that Gohmert is ignorant of how web technology works, but I'm saying that knowing how it works had nothing to do with his agenda. You see, Google is either going to provide private email addresses to the government or they are going to discriminate by providing those email addresses to advertisers for a fee while not doing the same thing to the government... the latter of which can be dismissed as a lie.

Flint Ironstag

2013-03-21 10:47:59 PM

mrshowrules: This is painful to watch. Also the guy from Google is trying to hard to be polite. The first couple answers should have been simply "No."

Or, "No, we don't five E-mail or any other information to other customers."

Or, "The E-mails have ads on the screen automatically triggered by words in the users E-mails."

I could be a better PR spokesman than that guy with about 30 minutes prep time. If you want to be polite the answer is "No Congressman" or "No Sir".

That's what I thought as well. As dumb as the politician is the Google rep did not explain it clearly enough. I assume he was (a) trying to be polite and respectful and (b) was used to dealing with people who have a clue rather than having to dumb things down as if he was talking to a five year old.

Flint Ironstag

2013-03-21 11:05:24 PM

sinanju: Gohmert is a moron of the first order. That said, the Google guy was doing a really bad job of explaining things. Once he recognized Gohmert wasn't getting it, he should have used an analogy.

1870's salon: Blacksmith gives a bartender a stack of cards and tells him to hand them out to anyone he hears talking about shoeing his horse. Blacksmith pays bartender to do it and Blacksmith never knows what was said in the salon or who said it.

Instead, Google guy let Gohmert get away intentionally ignorant and when Gohmert makes ridiculous claims in the future, he can point to Google as the source.

That's a good analogy. It also shows this is not a "high tech" concept even if the technology used to do it today is high tech.

bill_01915

2013-03-21 11:14:37 PM

theknuckler_33: In fairness, understanding an issue has absolutely nothing to do with the manner in which a witness is questioned. The witness was cut off numerous times before he was able to make a point explaining the congressman's (senator's?) apparent misunderstanding and was cut off each time.

I don't doubt, necessarily that Gohmert is ignorant of how web technology works, but I'm saying that knowing how it works had nothing to do with his agenda. You see, Google is either going to provide private email addresses to the government or they are going to discriminate by providing those email addresses to advertisers for a fee while not doing the same thing to the government... the latter of which can be dismissed as a lie.

Makes a lot of sense. Maybe this is less about his ignorance and more about him making sure he could hit all of his talking points in his allotted time.

Don't Troll Me Bro!

2013-03-21 11:29:34 PM

goatleggedfellow: Gohmert wonders why you shouldn't back-hack and fry the computer that hacked yours. Lawyer keeps a straight face.

http://ustre.am/_21EUj:1oJ1

That man is laughable. Just damn. And the lady in back of him on the left is so cute to watch. It's like watching a mother enjoying the innocent and naive ramblings of her child.

Atillathepun

2013-03-21 11:56:25 PM

HellRaisingHoosier: To be honest, I don't think the Congressmen from Texas came off as stupid, just a little ignorant. That said, Google DOES discriminate who they allow their information to go to. However, with the correct warrants in place, I'm sure the government could strong-arm Google into letting them get whatever information.

Google's systems scan your emails for key words then they match up people who have bought ad space from them with your email. Automated or not, they are browsing through what you've written.

Who is this "they" you speak of? Look, if you bought a novelty disco light that flashes and changes color based on the sounds you make near it, would you accuse "them" (the makers of said novelty disco light,) of monitoring you?

Obiwontaun

2013-03-22 12:22:46 AM

SisterMaryElephant: Jesus farking Christ

BEN
GHA
ZI

BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI

and
HUFFINGTON LIBERALLIEPOTTYSMASH POST

oh, did you know
BEN
GHA
ZI

I am becoming convinced that Benghazi has become a game to the republicans, like they have a bet going on to see how often they can slip it in to hearings that have nothing remotely to do with it. Kind of like the Meow in Super Troopers.

rosebud_the_sled

2013-03-22 12:42:39 AM

Give the poor guy a break. He is both a Texan and a Conservative. Each reduces his IQ by 50, so he starts with a 100 point deficit right out of the chute. Good lord, we should be giving him a congratulatory clap every time he remembers to unzip before he takes a piss.

Gyrfalcon

2013-03-22 01:13:28 AM

But if the government wants to buy the emails and web searches and use them to track the people who use them, Google would sell them to the government, right? Or would they discriminate against the government, and by the way Benghazi?

nobodyUwannaknow

2013-03-22 02:13:28 AM

Remember that one time some 30+ years ago ... Well *you* might not , but *I* do.
Anyway, I tried to explain to Grandpa how the barcode doesn't contain or represent the price that the supermarket scanner charges you. Unlike this congresscritter, he wasn't a total dumbass (expert cabinet maker), just that the technology in question was outside of his skill set and knowledge base.

Cheron

2013-03-22 09:42:02 AM

I'm not sure how stupid he is or if he was just trying to make a point to his base. He worked benghazi in a couple of times and then he was able to state for the cameras how tech companies discriminate against the government.

phyrkrakr

2013-03-22 03:32:12 PM

Maud Dib: Fixed that for me.
We tend to know what technology is here in the Silicon Hills of Austin, Texas.
It's a whole 'nother country out there. A no-liquor, God-fearing, retarded cousin-farking country.
We might as well give it to Louisiana or Arkansas.

Doing that would certainly raise the IQs of both states.

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