Cardinals hire new manager, man sought for bestiality charge may be on the lamb, and Carnival becomes the Windows ME of the cruise world: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/10 - 3/16
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-03-18 4:45:57 PM (13 comments) | Permalink
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You'll notice one small change this week--the top voted headline of the week was "Cardinals hire new manager" and it's brilliant, but technically, it's a context headline that will be in the context contest.
Most of the time, I don't list the context headlines here, but I've decided that when a context headline performs so well, I'll still show it here, even though it'll be in another contest later.
It won't change the Headline of the Year contest at all, but you'll get to appreciate it in these weekly writeups
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-03-10 to Sat 2013-03-16:
Woman caught performing sex act on boyfriend inside bank. It's not clear if he left a deposit
Image of Jesus appears on car's windshield. Must have been a Christler
Cardinals hire new manager
Entire Vatican library to be digitized across 2.8 pedobytes
Carnival, the Windows ME of the cruising world, has yet another ship stuck in Safe Mode
Why the new pope, even though he is a Jesuit, chose the name "Francis" rather than Ignatius to honor his order's founder: Maybe to invoke St Francis' commitment to charity and social justice, or maybe just to avoid being "Iggy Pope"
Reporters can't track down man charged with bestiality. Could be he's already on the lamb
Inoperable NYC railroad station elevator nicknamed a "vertical urinal". NYC subways still considered horizontal urinals
Violin played while the Titanic sank in 1912, goes on display with no strings attached
♫The poop police, they live inside of my head. The poop police, they come to me in my bed. The poop police, they're coming to arrest me, oh no♫
LAFD sprayed the foam to drown the bees that killed the dog that jumped the tree that the neighbors chopped that housed the hive that hurt the dog whose owners declined to speak on cam but said "never would have expected this" -- will get jack squat
Nani... Nami... Nnamdi...Notgonnaworkhere anymore, am I right?
Ray Lewis allegedly joining ESPN as an analyst, which is odd as he didn't see anything
Duke is sucked out of the ACC tournament by Maryland
New study says length of DNA strands can predict life expectancy, prove Peter North may be immortal
Self-healing computer chips invented. Take that, Dave
Researchers discover penis can cure migraines. No word on whether one must apply directly to forehead
Bob Dylan voted into American Academy of Arts and Mmgrmphms
Apparently Jason Statham is the only actor who is willing to pass on Star Wars VII: A New Hip
Bruce Dickinson (yes, THE Bruce Dickinson) introduces Iron Maiden Trooper Beer. It tastes okay, but could use a little more cowbell
North Korea makes good on one of its threats. Of course, it was the threat to lock itself in the bathroom and not talk to anyone until it gets its way, but that's still a threat
Forbes says that the Denver Post says that the Associated Press says that Homeland Security wants to buy 1.6 billion rounds of ammunition. So I guess it's pretty serious
To offset liberal bias, university to add "Conservative Thought and Policy" professor. Topics of study include "The Reagan Colonoscopy: A Journey Inside Greatness"
Kraft joins the NASDAQ 100 on the news that Kraft is TFARK spelled backwards
Air India jet clips a JetBlue airliner on the tarmac at JFK. Pilot says he was caught off guard when the JetBlue plane actually started to taxi towards a runway
U.S factory employees averaged a record 41.9 hours a week in February, or as six-year-old Nike workers call it: the swing shift
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