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(Boing Boing)   Loose Change: Death Star Edition   ( divider line
    More: Amusing, Loose Change, Death Star, Rapture of the Nerds, With a Little Help  
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15271 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Mar 2013 at 9:03 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-03-17 09:14:47 PM  
4 votes:
Won't some one please think of the Bothans
2013-03-17 09:53:35 PM  
3 votes:
cdn3.sbnation.comView Full Size

This picture proves that the Death Star could not have been destroyed by a single shot from a fighter, like the Jawa-run lamestream media would have you believe.

/wake up sheeple
2013-03-18 11:37:01 AM  
2 votes:

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Still think flight 93 Porkins was shot down to prevent collateral deaths.

2013-03-18 01:13:35 AM  
2 votes:
This will blow your mind, man!

There's evidence that shows that Obi-Wan Kenobi was NOT killed by Darth Vader, but was, in fact, a STAND-IN who was also the victim of a conspiracy to remove him from the picture so that Luke could go on to become the Master Jedi. Look at the facts:

* Obi-Wan disappeared moments before Darth Vader's lightsaber even touched his robes.

* Luke, Han, and Chewbacca were all in strategic positions behind the glassy hole, and they had their guns aimed in the direction of Obi-Wan Kenobi!

* Stormtroopers on the scene reported that one or several of their number were known impostors. Two are believed to be Skywalker and Solo, but the third remains unidentified-- All that is known is that he was taller than regulation Stormtrooper height, and was caught banging his head on doorways.

* Respected Imperial leader Grand Moff Tarkin, honored for his participation in the Clone Wars and lifelong service to the Empire, stated on the record that "surely, he [Kenobi] must be dead by now" and that Vader was "all that is left of their religion."

* And what of the fact that no body was recovered. Numerous Stormtrooper reports claim he just disappeared "as if someone had turned off a hologram." Perhaps there was never any real Obi-Wan at the Death Star? Perhaps he was a mere holographic projection all along!
2013-03-17 09:58:13 PM  
2 votes:

Gulper Eel: Shrugging Atlas: The Skywalkers were mad with power and would stop at nothing to take over the Galaxy."

Brilliant how anybody biatching about a 'berucracy' could simply be dismissed as a crank with horrible spelling skills.

You leave her out of this.

starwarsfunsite.webs.comView Full Size
2013-03-17 09:42:29 PM  
2 votes:
Luke was the perfect patsy; young, idealistic and easily manipulated. Clearly Yoda and Obi wan were complicit in creating the "Tatooine Candidate".
2013-03-18 02:39:23 PM  
1 vote:
Quote from George Lucas in response when informed of these allegations:

"Ok, you want the TRUTH??

Kids, we live in a world that has a fictional space frontier in the distant future.  And that fictional space frontier is guarded by men in starships.

Who else is gonna do it?  You, ya basement dweller??  You, hippie??  We have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom!

You weep that Luke was a patsy and you curse the conspiracy that made him one.

You have that luxury.  You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Luke's "heroism" while unbelievable and ludicrous, DEFENDS FICTIONAL SPACE.  And that fact, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, SAVES FICTIONAL LIVES!

You don't want the truth, because deep down in places you don't talk about at Star Wars conventions, you want these heroic antics to be true.  YOU NEED them to be true!

We use words like "Jedi", "storm trooper", and "Death Star".  We use these words as a backbone of a life spent worshipping something.  You use them as a punchline.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to men and women who rise and sleep under the very blanket of Space Defense that I provide and then question the manner in which I provide it!!  I would rather you just said, "Thank you," and went on your way.  Otherwise, I suggest you pick up laser rifle and shoot some swamp rats.  But either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!!"
2013-03-17 10:41:11 PM  
1 vote:
What really matters is to follow the money, ask the question "cui bono". Anakin Skywalker had substantial investments in Sienar Fleet Systems and Kuat Drive Yards.... and GUESS WHO got huge stock boosts right after this event happened.

 Also, many Bothan contractors working on the Death Star were noted as absent on the day that it was destroyed....were they 'sick' or did somebody TIP THEM OFF?

 Also, the infamous spice smuggler Han Solo, a known Hutt affiliate, was observed flying a YT-1300 freighter. That's a Corellian Engineering ship (where Leia 'Organia' Skywalker has a lot of stocks)- how could it be able to fly at the speeds of starfighters UNLESS it was secretly an imperial Sith Infiltrator using a cloaking field to disguise itself.

 I find it a shame that our brave and valiant clones are dying to pursue this 'Mon Mothma' character, who, for all we know, could be a hired actress. It's been years and they still haven't killed her. If she does exist, she's probably drinking Pan-Galactic gargle blasters in some Imperial bunker on Nar Huttaa! THE REBEL ALLIANCE IS A FALSE FLAG OPERATION!

 The occupation of Endor is a sham! There were no weapons at Hoth base!  This was all a pack of lies to ensure more contracts for AT-AT walkers and Super Star Destroyers!

 If you're a true imperial patriot, then support Ronnn Pol and his demands for a full imperial inquistion!
2013-03-17 10:15:47 PM  
1 vote:
It was the Space Jews!
2013-03-17 09:49:20 PM  
1 vote:
Clearly a POV issue. Everybody has one.
2013-03-17 09:45:32 PM  
1 vote:
Sh*t, this is too f*cking big for you, you know that? Who blew up the Death Star? Who destroyed the biggest battle station ever? F*ck man! It's a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma! The f*ckin' Rebels don't even know! Don't you get it?!
2013-03-17 09:41:12 PM  
1 vote:
2013-03-17 09:39:22 PM  
1 vote:
Excellent exposé, but they failed to address the rumors concerning an apparently unorthodox relationship between Luke and Leia. I for one would like to hear more about that.

In detail.
2013-03-17 09:36:02 PM  
1 vote:

NightOwl2255: You fools! This video is clearly a false flag operation.

It is being linked on boingboing.
2013-03-17 09:26:23 PM  
1 vote:
Anybody know where I can get a copy of the original video? I doubt it exists.
2013-03-17 09:23:36 PM  
1 vote:
Thanks Obama!
2013-03-17 09:20:14 PM  
1 vote:

Shrugging Atlas: The Skywalkers were mad with power and would stop at nothing to take over the Galaxy."

Brilliant how anybody biatching about a 'berucracy' could simply be dismissed as a crank with horrible spelling skills.
2013-03-17 09:12:06 PM  
1 vote:
Awesome. Needed, though, a slight pause before saying "Anakin is also Luke Skywalker's father"

/pregnant pause
2013-03-17 07:20:21 PM  
1 vote:
Man that really makes you think...
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