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(Telegram)   Why would a cop suspect that woman is driving drunk? Driving with four flat tires and heavy front end damage, just might have something to do with it   ( telegram.com) divider line
    More: Fail, flat tires  
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2742 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Mar 2013 at 9:35 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

19 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-16 09:03:44 PM  
Why would a farker suspect that a newspaper editor is posting drunk? Forgetting to close an <em> tag so everything from "Contact Linda" to the end of the page is in italics just might have something to do with it.
2013-03-16 09:39:02 PM  
...resisting urge to make joke about female drivers...
2013-03-16 09:43:27 PM  
Too early for flapjacks?
2013-03-16 09:51:11 PM  
Typical Wal-Mart parking lot.
2013-03-16 09:59:57 PM  
Four flats don't mean she is drunk, maybe she isn't attractive enough to get four guys to change them for her.  Also, front end damage, aren't all women's cars have front end damage?  Lindsey sure thinks so.

Maybe she heard Bill Engvall's joke about the flat tire, she was waiting to see if they would just re-inflate.

Pulling all women with four flats is just profiling, and profiling is wrong.
2013-03-16 10:01:05 PM  
She may have had 4 flats but they weren't in the nicest part of town.

//yeah, i'm fine

2013-03-16 10:01:10 PM  
So I found out they was stopping everyone driving on that paticular sidewalk that nite, and that is profiling I do believe.
2013-03-16 10:03:22 PM  
It's clear that the entire ordeal left the woman.....

*dons sunglasses*

.......completely deflated.

2013-03-16 10:05:02 PM  
At least she wasn't submitting with a, superfluous comma.
2013-03-16 10:14:42 PM  

monty666: At least she wasn't submitting with a, superfluous comma.

I came here, to say the same.
2013-03-16 10:14:59 PM  
Women drivers, yada, yada, yada...
2013-03-16 10:24:41 PM  
But did they give her a field sobriety test? Otherwise it's a bogus arrest.
2013-03-16 10:30:33 PM  
Time for a CSB....

One night, just before I left the real world for a job on a remote Pacific atoll, my friends threw me a going away party. Since I was the guest of honor, I drank way more than I should have and was in no shape to drive.
This wasn't a problem though, because one of the women there hadn't been drinking, and offered to drive me home. Since the lease had expired at my old place, and I didn't renew (because I was going out to a remote island in a month), I was staying at my mom's place just outside of town. I told her to drive me home, and she could take my car back to her home, and I would retrieve it in the morning.
I laid down in bed after being dropped off, and noticed my alarm clock suddenly die, but, hey, no problem, it was Saturday night, I really didn't need it on Sunday morning anyway.

The next morning, I'm awakened by cop knocks on my front door. I open it  and see a sheriff's deputy and a state trooper standing there, looking somewhat annoyed. They start talking some stuff about my car being being parked somewhere in town, something something utility pole, gouge marks...and start asking me about my evening.

Turned out that after leaving my mom's place, the girl was messing with the radio while flying down the gravel road, lost control of the car, went into the ditch, striking a utility pole and snapping it off (thus explaining the alarm clock suddenly dying). She then drove the car out of the ditch, and drove it, with all of that front end damage and one flat tire, leaving a gouge mark in the asphalt from the rim from the intersection of the gravel and the paved country road all the way back into town...a distance of about 5 miles. The car was found parked in the middle of the street about a block from the police station, with a dead transmission (due to being driven that distance with asymmetrical spin going to the one wheel with a tire and the other without from what the shop told me), heavy front end damage, and a destroyed right front wheel.

I was pretty pissed off...instead of walking the 500 yards back to my house, she did all of that, and still hadn't had the decency to call me and tell me what had happened. I mean fark, she wasn't drunk, just stupid. End of story, turns out she was on probation for something else, and ended up doing 4 years for leaving the scene (felony, due to the dollar amount of damage to my car and the utility pole) that could have been completely avoided by walking back to my house and saying what happened. Would have taken one call to the sheriff for an accident report, and another to a towing company to take the car to a salvage yard.

Moral of the story: I have made poor decisions in making friends in my past life.
2013-03-16 10:41:36 PM  
^ awesome story. and friends over overrated.
2013-03-16 11:17:37 PM  
When explaining herself to the police she claimed..
...she was just tired.

2013-03-16 11:44:42 PM  
What on earth did she do to get <i>four</i> flats?  Run over a herd of porcupines?  Not one or two or three but FOUR!

img.photobucket.comView Full Size

Does NOT approve.
2013-03-16 11:54:48 PM  

Kensey: What on earth did she do to get <i>four</i> flats?  Run over a herd of porcupines?  Not one or two or three but FOUR!

[img.photobucket.com image 559x239]

Does NOT approve.

OK, well, when I worked for The Mouse, we were in the process of remodeling the Disney Hotel (the first time, not the more recent upgrade). They installed one of those permanent spike strips in the parking lot, the kind where if you go over one way the spikes retract, but if the other way, they rip the hell out of your tires. We (security) had also just acquired half a dozen brand spanking new vehicles with brand new tires.

So the second night all of these came together, one of my coworkers was patrolling the new parking lot in his new Tracker and went backward over the spikes...and got, yes, all four tires. I think it only took the rest of us a week to stop laughing...and Grant didn't get a new Tracker for at least another month.
2013-03-17 05:52:50 AM  
She was just waiting for a mate.
2013-03-17 08:27:49 AM  

Would've sucked if she abandoned the car at the first accident, for it would've been harder to prove your story without the trail of evidence going the other way.
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