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(The New York Times)   What's on your nightstand? A good book? A phone charger? Maybe your 3-hp electric vibrator?   ( nytimes.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, National Sleep Foundation, Connecticut College, Good Vibrations, art collectors, sleep apnea, Pew Research  
•       •       •

13577 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2013 at 6:37 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-03-15 05:25:32 PM  
6 votes:

ZAZ: One "nightstand" has drawers with clothes and condoms if I'm feeling lucky.

PSA: Check the expiration date on the condoms, they're only good for 10 years or so.
2013-03-15 06:56:54 PM  
4 votes:
Your moms false teeth.
2013-03-15 05:41:16 PM  
3 votes:
Your moms panties

\why did this take so long
\\ disappointed in the lot of you
\\\three slashies
2013-03-15 05:23:59 PM  
3 votes:
In before "Glock."
2013-03-15 03:42:55 PM  
3 votes:
At 5 in the morning, each morning, my cat sits on the nightstand and knocks everything off until I get up and feed her.

Sometimes she gets way up on the dresser and knocks my money clip on the floor so the dogs can eat all my money:(
/happened twice in the last 2 months
//puts money in the drawer now
2013-03-16 03:27:20 AM  
2 votes:

Livingroom: BuckTurgidson: derp

This is my Hotel Defense kit, and what my nightstand at a motel looks like any night that i travel for business:
[s14.postimage.org image 850x635]

if you've ever fired a gun indoors, you know that its 10x louder sounding. so, if i'm ever forced to defend myself in my motel room (as i often spend the night in memphis, jackson, louisville, etc) i'm prepared to do so, without so much as even disturbing the other guests.

Holy farking crap does it suck to be you.
I toured for over 30 years, and not for a minute of it did I live in fear.
How's that whole living in a state of paranoia going for ya?

Oh and by the way....BOO!

Gotcha. Ya big pussy.
2013-03-15 07:26:00 PM  
2 votes:

Smeggy Smurf: Coaster, cat hair, empty cup, ass lube, athlete's foot cream, cat hair, bottle of wintergreen, wallet, cat hair, watch, spectacles, foot lotion, sunburn lotion, KY jelly, cat hair, cat, nail clippers, dagger, 3 books, cat hair, jewelry box, a lamp, Mrs. Smurf's panties on the lamp, 4 remotes and a couple ace bandages.

It's not a nightstand, it's a repurposed table.  With a cat bed under it.

I hate to tell you, but that's a repurposed cat bed that the cat graciously allows you to use as a table and why do you keep moving all the cat hair?
2013-03-15 06:17:14 PM  
2 votes:
img841.imageshack.usView Full Size

My clock blinking after a brief power outage.

/very funny people at the power company
2013-03-15 05:40:31 PM  
2 votes:
how exactly does one measure the horsepower of an electric vibrator?
2013-03-15 08:15:29 PM  
1 vote:
3hp vibrator, mine?  Its starter motor may be 3hp.
2013-03-15 07:33:28 PM  
1 vote:
I have multiple nightstands around my bed. Contents at night:

Box Fan
Tablet (for reading, usually)
iPod Touch (for music almost exclusively and very quick email checks)
Alarm Clock
Cell Phone (a dumb phone because I don't need a data plan)
House Phone
Your mother's phone number
2013-03-15 07:00:10 PM  
1 vote:

Dr_Gene: You named your nose 'Jesus'?

Scuze me, I gotta blow Jesus.
2013-03-15 06:50:04 PM  
1 vote:

GAT_00: Lamp, clock, tissues (no, for my nose, Jesus), almost always a book, and my phone and glasses while I'm asleep.  Book sits on the clock.

You named your nose 'Jesus'?

2013-03-15 06:38:39 PM  
1 vote:
Our surgeons did what they could, but it took them two hours just to get the smile off his face.
2013-03-15 05:52:54 PM  
1 vote:
When I left for work this morning, there was a lamp and a clock radio on my nightstand

/I'm sure those are now on the floor, having been replaced by a happily sleeping cat
2013-03-15 05:40:53 PM  
1 vote:
A Justin Bieber action figure.
2013-03-15 05:26:03 PM  
1 vote:
A clock, a lamp and a big tube of anal lube.
2013-03-15 05:23:33 PM  
1 vote:
a smaller nightstand.
2013-03-15 04:07:49 PM  
1 vote:
Lamp, clock, tissues (no, for my nose, Jesus), almost always a book, and my phone and glasses while I'm asleep.  Book sits on the clock.
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