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(CNN)   Black smoke. Thanks Obama   ( cnn.com) divider line
145
    More: Obvious, College of Cardinals, Sistine Chapel  
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9509 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Mar 2013 at 7:36 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



145 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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LineNoise [TotalFark]
2013-03-12 02:45:54 PM  
Wow, they weren't messing around with that smoke.

I wouldn't be surprised if they don't hear anything from the conclave for a few days, only to open the doors and find them all dead of carbon monoxide poisoning.
 
sarahthustra [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-12 02:48:10 PM  
i remember last time there was some ambiguity in that some of the first smoke came out kind of gray and everyone outside was all, "uh, what do we report?"

i guess they just wanted to make super sure everyone got the message.
 
nekom [TotalFark]
2013-03-12 02:48:19 PM  
LOL, this one!
 
CommieTaoist [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-12 02:48:45 PM  

LineNoise: Wow, they weren't messing around with that smoke.


IIRC, one of the times they burned the ballots before the last guy was elected the smoke started out as slightly white before they added the straw to turn the smoke black which led to a lot of confusion. Glad to see they're not messing around this time around.
 
Shakespeare's Monkey [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-12 02:52:32 PM  
t2.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
Candygram4Mongo [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-12 02:55:16 PM  
This is the year 2013. Just put a neon sign on the roof. Or post online. "Your pope is important to us. Please continue to hold..."
 
Shakespeare's Monkey [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-12 02:55:53 PM  
farm9.staticflickr.comView Full Size
 
KarmicDisaster [TotalFark]
2013-03-12 02:58:41 PM  
What did they burn to get the smoke that Black, some politician souls?
 
pag1107
2013-03-12 03:02:28 PM  

KarmicDisaster: What did they burn to get the smoke that Black, some politician souls?


Probably whatever Silvio Burlesconi puts in his hair.
 
wxboy
2013-03-12 03:08:53 PM  

KarmicDisaster: What did they burn to get the smoke that Black, some politician souls?


The body of a previous pope.
 
SmackLT [TotalFark]
2013-03-12 03:11:52 PM  

Shakespeare's Monkey: [farm9.staticflickr.com image 500x388]


I love this so much
 
Nabb1
2013-03-12 03:12:54 PM  

wxboy: KarmicDisaster: What did they burn to get the smoke that Black, some politician souls?

The body of a previous pope.


If the smoke is accompanied by pained screams, we'll know which previous Pope, too.
 
Shakespeare's Monkey [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-12 03:13:11 PM  
It's interesting that there are no Italian Jehovah's Witnesses.

But then again, Italians don't leave witnesses.
 
Mudgen [TotalFark]
2013-03-12 03:13:16 PM  

Candygram4Mongo: This is the year 2013. Just put a neon sign on the roof. Or post online. "Your pope is important to us. Please continue to hold..."


I just had a vision of a "Hot pontiffs now" sign in red flashing neon....
 
EviLincoln
2013-03-12 03:15:41 PM  

Nabb1: wxboy: KarmicDisaster: What did they burn to get the smoke that Black, some politician souls?

The body of a previous pope.

If the smoke is accompanied by pained screams, we'll know which previous Pope, too.


LOL
 
wxboy
2013-03-12 03:16:28 PM  

Nabb1: wxboy: KarmicDisaster: What did they burn to get the smoke that Black, some politician souls?

The body of a previous pope.

If the smoke is accompanied by pained screams, we'll know which previous Pope, too.


They also might be burning one of the Cardinals.  That way, eventually they'll either come to a consensus or keep burning Cardinals until they're down to one.
 
OtherLittleGuy [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-12 03:27:36 PM  
farm7.staticflickr.comView Full Size
 
Snarfangel
2013-03-12 03:30:01 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: [farm7.staticflickr.com image 640x443]


Vatican City Legalizes Pot
 
MaudlinMutantMollusk [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-12 03:33:21 PM  
They're going to need to smoke some more
 
RminusQ [TotalFark]
2013-03-12 03:35:41 PM  
I am highly curious as to what would happen if they picked a non-Cardinal. How would they get the word out to that guy that he needs to get to Rome triple-quick? Would they put out white smoke, and then a guy saying "Please hold for our pope who is arriving on the red-eye and we hope he says yes"? What would be the reaction of the bishop who got that phone call? "Yeah farking right I'm the new pope." [click]

I know it hasn't happened in like 700 years but NEITHER HAS A POPE RESIGNING.
 
what_now [TotalFark]
2013-03-12 03:49:02 PM  
So, I watched about 15 minutes of the Showtime show "The Borgias" before I thew the remote down in disgust, but I do kind of wish this conclave was like that first one. For the lulz
 
bongmiester
2013-03-12 03:59:44 PM  
so first term - nobel prize, second term - papacy
 
CommieTaoist [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-12 04:01:02 PM  
i1156.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
Torgo_of_Manos [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-12 04:51:38 PM  

Mudgen: Candygram4Mongo: This is the year 2013. Just put a neon sign on the roof. Or post online. "Your pope is important to us. Please continue to hold..."

I just had a vision of a "Hot pontiffs now" sign in red flashing neon....


Dammit now I want donuts
 
Mudgen [TotalFark]
2013-03-12 05:12:49 PM  

CommieTaoist: [i1156.photobucket.com image 425x319]


Brilliant!

Torgo_of_Manos: Mudgen:  I just had a vision of a "Hot pontiffs now" sign in red flashing neon....

Dammit now I want donuts


See?  THANKS, OBAMA!
 
CommieTaoist [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-12 05:21:10 PM  

Mudgen: Brilliant!


Thanks, quickly sketched that out during a meeting.
 
grokca [TotalFark]
2013-03-12 05:23:51 PM  
Maybe they finally picked a black guy.
 
Snarfangel
2013-03-12 06:28:34 PM  
Everyone keeps assuming that black smoke means no Pope has been elected. What if the cardinals accidentally created an anti-Pope?
 
MaudlinMutantMollusk [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-12 06:30:07 PM  

Snarfangel: Everyone keeps assuming that black smoke means no Pope has been elected. What if the cardinals accidentally created an anti-Pope?


They'd need to start having altar girls if they did that
 
sentex
2013-03-12 07:23:11 PM  

Snarfangel: Everyone keeps assuming that black smoke means no Pope has been elected. What if the cardinals accidentally created an anti-Pope?


Yeah by accident
 
Dimensio [TotalFark]
2013-03-12 07:39:18 PM  

KarmicDisaster: What did they burn to get the smoke that Black, some politician souls?


Politicians do not have souls.
 
nekom [TotalFark]
2013-03-12 07:41:02 PM  
Green after all these hours?

POPE THREAD!!!1
 
NobleHam
2013-03-12 07:41:40 PM  

CommieTaoist: LineNoise: Wow, they weren't messing around with that smoke.

IIRC, one of the times they burned the ballots before the last guy was elected the smoke started out as slightly white before they added the straw to turn the smoke black which led to a lot of confusion. Glad to see they're not messing around this time around.


This time it was grey for a few seconds at first.

LineNoise: Wow, they weren't messing around with that smoke.

I wouldn't be surprised if they don't hear anything from the conclave for a few days, only to open the doors and find them all dead of carbon monoxide poisoning.


Last time around, they caused smoke damage to the Sistine Chapel paintings on the last ballot.
 
LeafyGreens
2013-03-12 07:41:41 PM  
Can I post a bunch in this thread about how I'm an atheist and don't believe in your invisible sky friends?

Because I'm really sick of that shiat.

/don't care what you believe in, just don't sound like a sophomore philosophy student
 
Ow! That was my feelings!
2013-03-12 07:42:28 PM  
Dear Papal folks,

Please don't hire the American.

Thanks,
America.
 
Stile4aly [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-12 07:43:08 PM  
I predict they will pick an old Catholic who will maintain centuries of ecclesiastical dogma.

Call me crazy.
 
Ghastly [TotalFark]
2013-03-12 07:43:08 PM  
Meanwhile inside the conclave.

"One last time people, we can't all vote for ourself."
 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-12 07:43:13 PM  

KarmicDisaster: What did they burn to get the smoke that Black, some politician souls?



Straw is burned along with the ballots for the black smoke.
 
gingerjet
2013-03-12 07:46:42 PM  

LineNoise: Wow, they weren't messing around with that smoke.

I wouldn't be surprised if they don't hear anything from the conclave for a few days, only to open the doors and find them all dead of carbon monoxide poisoning.


Its almost happened a number of times.  Imagine having to create a system that a bunch of really old guys must be able to activate without being able to ask for help?  And then its used once every decade or two.
 
bentley57
2013-03-12 07:47:07 PM  
I'm still rooting for the black guy. Heads will explode.
 
Marine1
2013-03-12 07:47:12 PM  
My money's on Turkson. He's not really familiar with the abuse scandal, though, so no idea how he'd handle that in the future.
 
fusillade762 [TotalFark]
2013-03-12 07:47:31 PM  
No pope, sequester AND we're at war with North Korea again! Cats and dogs, living together!!!
 
Marine1
2013-03-12 07:48:01 PM  

fusillade762: No pope, sequester AND we're at war with North Korea again! Cats and dogs, living together!!!


And the world isn't imploding.
 
OtherLittleGuy [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-12 07:48:06 PM  

LeafyGreens: Can I post a bunch in this thread about how I'm an atheist and don't believe in your invisible sky friends?


As long as I get to believe in Penn but not Teller.
 
HalfOffOffer
2013-03-12 07:48:30 PM  
Can't they spare us all the drama of using black and white smoke and just tweet it out when they've picked someone?  Sheesh.
 
gingerjet
2013-03-12 07:48:53 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: Straw is burned along with the ballots for the black smoke.


Actually it isn't.  They've tried flares a couple of times with mixed results.  This time around I read they are using chemicals to produce the right effect.
 
BalugaJoe [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-12 07:49:10 PM  
Valentine Pontifex of Majipoor.
 
Ambivalence [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-12 07:49:37 PM  

Snarfangel: Everyone keeps assuming that black smoke means no Pope has been elected. What if the cardinals accidentally created an anti-Pope.


Isn't there already an anti-pope? I want to say the head of the Eastern Orthodox Church but I don't want to offend if I'm wrong. (And I don't care enough to google it).
 
bdub77 [TotalFark]
2013-03-12 07:51:03 PM  
So...pope is not coming out?
 
ontariolightning
2013-03-12 07:51:23 PM  
Black smoke and no Lost references? Have you all FORGOTTEN?!
 
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