FARK.com: (7637653) Good news: Saudi Arabia may stop beheading people. Not so much: Because there's a shortage of swordsmen

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

		Good news: Saudi Arabia may stop beheading people. Not so much: Because there's a shortage of swordsmen ( english.ahram.org.eg)		162
		More: Fail, Saudi Arabia, riyadh, Sri Lankan, death penalty

• • •

5407 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2013 at 10:02 PM (5 years ago) | Favorite | share:

Share this link:

URL:

https://fark.com/go/7637653

Bookmark:

Article Comments close

162 Comments (+0 »)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all

Generation_D

2013-03-11 08:38:44 PM

These 8th century goat herders that won the oil lotto need to be beheaded. Live by the sword and die by the sword. I'll rejoice the day the House of Saud is consigned to the history books.

AirForceVet

2013-03-11 08:52:37 PM

What are the retirement benefits for swordsmen?

/Hey, I might lose my job due to sequestration.

Mugato

2013-03-11 08:56:10 PM

AirForceVet: What are the retirement benefits for swordsmen?

What do you think?

*lop*

eyeq360

2013-03-11 09:02:43 PM

Beheading people by sword in one blow is pretty hard to do. It takes a lot of talent.

Therion

2013-03-11 09:06:22 PM

And the training/practice sessions ain't that pretty at all.

hardinparamedic

2013-03-11 09:11:36 PM

Generation_D: These 8th century goat herders that won the oil lotto need to be beheaded. Live by the sword and die by the sword. I'll rejoice the day the House of Saud is consigned to the history books.

It's not like it's a medieval beheading anyway. They draw off so much blood and dope them up so much they literally have to drag them to the block to begin with. They're literally in decompensated shock when the sword falls down.

If you ever watch any of the videos of them doing it, there's a reason you don't see fountains of blood.

I_Am_Weasel

2013-03-11 09:26:49 PM

eyeq360: Beheading people by sword in one blow is pretty hard to do. It takes a lot of talent.

Yep. The talented ones are a cut above.

Ambivalence

2013-03-11 09:31:48 PM

hardinparamedic: Generation_D: These 8th century goat herders that won the oil lotto need to be beheaded. Live by the sword and die by the sword. I'll rejoice the day the House of Saud is consigned to the history books.

It's not like it's a medieval beheading anyway. They draw off so much blood and dope them up so much they literally have to drag them to the block to begin with. They're literally in decompensated shock when the sword falls down.

If you ever watch any of the videos of them doing it, there's a reason you don't see fountains of blood.

Ummmm...why are you watching videos of people getting beheaded in Saudi Arabia?

Somacandra

2013-03-11 09:55:10 PM

When you hire the right guy for the job, you know there can be only one.

/This better turn into a Highlander thread pretty goddamn quick or you're all turning in your Fark cards.

Somacandra

2013-03-11 10:00:42 PM

Generation_D: These 8th century goat herders that won the oil lotto need to be beheaded.

They've already started delaying mass crucifixions. What the fark more do you want?

Candygram4Mongo

2013-03-11 10:03:00 PM

eyeq360: Beheading people by sword in one blow is pretty hard to do. It takes a lot of talent.

A chainsaw would be FAR more efficient, but NOOO... That would be too barbaric...

Somacandra

2013-03-11 10:04:41 PM

Generation_D: I'll rejoice the day the House of Saud is consigned to the history books.

So will most of the world, including most of the world's Muslims. Saudi Arabia.....treats objects like women, man.

Seriously, when Muslims worldwide go on Hajj, the Saudis issue them a special visa that says: you can briefly get into Mecca (and Medina if you want), do your few days and GTFO. And don't let them catch you going elsewhere or you're farked.

farkingismybusiness

2013-03-11 10:04:50 PM

You know what they say... no noose is good noose.

freewill

2013-03-11 10:04:54 PM

Wait until you meet their replacements.

mmonnens

2013-03-11 10:05:44 PM

I am wondering if they are looking to see if there are some men from Calais that could do the job?

Born_Again_Bavarian

2013-03-11 10:05:51 PM

Job security!

Fair_Poopsmith

2013-03-11 10:06:18 PM

Well, they've teched up to Steel, so it would be best just to upgrade their existing warrior units.

freewill

2013-03-11 10:07:58 PM

Somacandra: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 400x214]

When you hire the right guy for the job, you know there can be only one.

/This better turn into a Highlander thread pretty goddamn quick or you're all turning in your Fark cards.

I know his name.

GungFu

2013-03-11 10:09:33 PM

They will always lose.

doglover

2013-03-11 10:11:07 PM

eyeq360: Beheading people by sword in one blow is pretty hard to do. It takes a lot of talent.

Depends on the sword.

A nice German longsword would do it easy.

AcesFull

2013-03-11 10:11:17 PM

whistleridge: eyeq360: Beheading people by sword in one blow is pretty hard to do. It takes a lot of talent.

This guy did an ok job. In a suit, no less.

Fore!!

Molavian

2013-03-11 10:12:30 PM

Ah, the voice of Eugene Krabs on SpongeBob.

Magorn

2013-03-11 10:12:49 PM

The former incumbent:

LordOfThePings

2013-03-11 10:13:28 PM

Alex Broughton Butt Chugger

2013-03-11 10:13:40 PM

AirForceVet: What are the retirement benefits for swordsmen?

/Hey, I might lose my job due to sequestration.

There's a great severance package...

untaken_name

2013-03-11 10:14:49 PM

Ambivalence: hardinparamedic: Generation_D: These 8th century goat herders that won the oil lotto need to be beheaded. Live by the sword and die by the sword. I'll rejoice the day the House of Saud is consigned to the history books.

It's not like it's a medieval beheading anyway. They draw off so much blood and dope them up so much they literally have to drag them to the block to begin with. They're literally in decompensated shock when the sword falls down.

If you ever watch any of the videos of them doing it, there's a reason you don't see fountains of blood.

Ummmm...why are you watching videos of people getting beheaded in Saudi Arabia?

Because that's where they behead people. If they did it in France, he'd be watching videos of Frenchmen being beheaded. Duh.

Millennium

2013-03-11 10:15:00 PM

This leads me to wonder: how many swordsmen do they actually need to fit current trends?

eyeq360

2013-03-11 10:16:21 PM

doglover: eyeq360: Beheading people by sword in one blow is pretty hard to do. It takes a lot of talent.
Depends on the sword.
A nice German longsword would do it easy.

And the executioner. It takes a special type of person to execute people by beheading with a sword.
I was reading a book on the various methods of judicial execution that have been used throughout history. Pretty fascinating.

freewill

2013-03-11 10:16:30 PM

Molavian: Somacandra: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 400x214]

When you hire the right guy for the job, you know there can be only one.

/This better turn into a Highlander thread pretty goddamn quick or you're all turning in your Fark cards.

Ah, the voice of Eugene Krabs on SpongeBob.

He told you not to bring that up.

LordJiro

2013-03-11 10:17:38 PM

And we're allied with these scumbags. Yeah, we don't get to biatch about Iran or Pakistan anymore.

Fano

2013-03-11 10:17:43 PM

Somacandra: When you hire the right guy for the job, you know there can be only one.

/This better turn into a Highlander thread pretty goddamn quick or you're all turning in your Fark cards.

Hassan CHOP!

cowgirl toffee

2013-03-11 10:18:45 PM

AirForceVet: What are the retirement benefits for swordsmen?

/Hey, I might lose my job due to sequestration.

There's a nice severance package.

sheep snorter

2013-03-11 10:20:15 PM

Yea I watched the Saudis behead two towers in New York a decade or so back. I think it created many American jobs too, as per the Cheney initiative.

/Beheading is still better than the Christian's version of burning people at the stake.
//But the christians did it because people of science are icky grossy and all that and must be killed to purify the stupids.

i.r.id10t

2013-03-11 10:21:08 PM

Boris! I've got a special - when can you work him in?

"I couldn't possibly sneak him in until Monday, Sir. I'm booked solid!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHSkMwUa2i4

/ a favorite movie

doglover

2013-03-11 10:22:14 PM

Saudi law allows the death penalty for many crimes. For example:

Adultery (Unmarried adulterers can be sentenced to 100 lashes, married ones can be sentenced to stoning.)
Apostasy (Apostates are sentenced to beheading but are usually given three days to repent and return to Islam.)
Armed robbery
Blasphemy
Carjacking
Drug smuggling
Fornication
Home invasion
Homosexuality (If a person is sodomized by his or her own consent, then he/she might also be sentenced to death)
Idolatry
Murder
Prostitution
Rape
Sedition
Sexual misconduct
Sorcery
Terrorism
Theft (fourth conviction)
Treason
Waging war on God
Witchcraft

I don't care how good the cous cous is, I ain't goin' there.

eyeq360

2013-03-11 10:22:21 PM

ultraholland

2013-03-11 10:24:45 PM

hardinparamedic: If you ever watch any of the videos of them doing it, there's a reason you don't see fountains of blood.

Which is why I hate watching those videos. Such a letdown.

Brick-House

2013-03-11 10:24:58 PM

eyeq360: Beheading people by sword in one blow is pretty hard to do. It takes a lot of talent.

Ok, so let's say it takes 2 or 3 hacks to get the head off, the heads still off. I fail to see a problem here.

KrispyKritter

2013-03-11 10:28:08 PM

too stupid to build a guillotine

Pathman

2013-03-11 10:29:34 PM

you were supposed to fire up, we all fired up

TV's Vinnie

2013-03-11 10:30:22 PM

Came for HASAAAAAAAAN CHOP!, leaving satisfied.

Pathman

2013-03-11 10:31:07 PM

doglover: Saudi law allows the death penalty for many crimes. For example:

Adultery (Unmarried adulterers can be sentenced to 100 lashes, married ones can be sentenced to stoning.)
Apostasy (Apostates are sentenced to beheading but are usually given three days to repent and return to Islam.)
Armed robbery
Blasphemy
Carjacking
Drug smuggling
Fornication
Home invasion
Homosexuality (If a person is sodomized by his or her own consent, then he/she might also be sentenced to death)
Idolatry
Murder
Prostitution
Rape
Sedition
Sexual misconduct
Sorcery
Terrorism
Theft (fourth conviction)
Treason
Waging war on God
Witchcraft

I don't care how good the cous cous is, I ain't goin' there.

seriously. i'm pretty much guilty of all of those things at one time or another in one form or another
(lol - 'cept i ain't no idolator)

TomD9938

2013-03-11 10:34:21 PM

Millennium: This leads me to wonder: how many swordsmen do they actually need to fit current trends?

Yeah, seems like one would be enough for the entire country. TFA said there were 76 beheadings all last year.

Do two a week for 38 weeks and kick it for the next 14.

It's a teacher-like workload.

Somacandra

2013-03-11 10:37:43 PM

Magorn: The former incumbent:

A personal favorite cartoon of mine.

Applicable Quote: "Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich"

Gnu Mutant

2013-03-11 10:37:54 PM

I guess I'll scrap my plans of waging war on god with sorcery while I visit.

doglover

2013-03-11 10:39:15 PM

Pathman: doglover: Saudi law allows the death penalty for many crimes. For example:

Adultery (Unmarried adulterers can be sentenced to 100 lashes, married ones can be sentenced to stoning.)
Apostasy (Apostates are sentenced to beheading but are usually given three days to repent and return to Islam.)
Armed robbery
Blasphemy
Carjacking
Drug smuggling
Fornication
Home invasion
Homosexuality (If a person is sodomized by his or her own consent, then he/she might also be sentenced to death)
Idolatry
Murder
Prostitution
Rape
Sedition
Sexual misconduct
Sorcery
Terrorism
Theft (fourth conviction)
Treason
Waging war on God
Witchcraft

I don't care how good the cous cous is, I ain't goin' there.

seriously. i'm pretty much guilty of all of those things at one time or another in one form or another
(lol - 'cept i ain't no idolator)

Just about the only one on the list is apostasy. Not being Muslim I've never turned from Islam's teachings as I'm utter unawares of them and totally willing to talk about it with anyone if it means keeping my head on the neck it came with.

The rest? Yeah... I'm stayin' here.

specialkae

2013-03-11 10:40:05 PM

Anne Boylen called and mentioned her swordsman for a reliable reference.

Before la madame guillotine or whatever the French call it these days.

freewill

2013-03-11 10:40:09 PM

doglover: Saudi law allows the death penalty for many crimes. For example:

Waging war on God
Witchcraft

I don't care how good the cous cous is, I ain't goin' there.

On my first reading, I misunderstood this to mean that they frowned deeply on MMOs.

Kentucky Fried Children

2013-03-11 10:42:33 PM

doglover: Saudi law allows the death penalty for many crimes. For example:

Adultery (Unmarried adulterers can be sentenced to 100 lashes, married ones can be sentenced to stoning.)
Apostasy (Apostates are sentenced to beheading but are usually given three days to repent and return to Islam.)
Armed robbery
Blasphemy
Carjacking
Drug smuggling
Fornication
Home invasion
Homosexuality (If a person is sodomized by his or her own consent, then he/she might also be sentenced to death)
Idolatry
Murder
Prostitution
Rape
Sedition
Sexual misconduct
Sorcery
Terrorism
Theft (fourth conviction)
Treason
Waging war on God
Witchcraft

I don't care how good the cous cous is, I ain't goin' there.

Sorcery and witchcraft? So do they do the whole duck-weight-scale thing, or just say SHES A WITCH and off with her head?

/seriously though, never, ever EVER want to go to S.A. - its scary how easy one can get their head chopped off there

BenJammin

2013-03-11 10:43:27 PM

So, they are switching to guns, not SUVs?

Displayed 50 of 162 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Redisplay/refresh comments

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

If you like these links, you'll love

Come on, it's $5 a month, just do it.

learn more | sign up

Report

Advertise on Fark

learn more

Like Fark!

Follow @Fark On Twitter

Headlines of the Week
Fark NotNewsletter

Report

Fark.com

Top Commented

Top Commented ▼

Top Commented
Top Clicked
Top Voted
My Recent Commented
Recent Mentions

Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.
When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.
Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.
You need to create an account to submit links or post comments.
Click here to submit a link.