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(Daily Mail)   Pop quiz hotshot. The elevator door opens and one man is choking another to death. You have a cell phone, a man bag, and your car keys. What do you do?   ( dailymail.co.uk) divider line
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    More: Amusing  
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17620 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2013 at 8:25 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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oi_piss_me_off [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:45:16 PM  
23 votes:
leave the cell phone, cross the river with the man bag and the car keys, leave the keys on the other side, go back with the bag and get the phone and take them both back.
Yuri Futanari
2013-03-04 07:43:58 PM  
13 votes:
Masturbate furiously.
LlamaGirl [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:47:31 PM  
10 votes:
Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.

img.photobucket.comView Full Size
violentsalvation [recently expired TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:43:00 PM  
9 votes:
Shoot the hostage.
FARK rebel soldier
2013-03-04 08:32:19 PM  
6 votes:
25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
SilentStrider
2013-03-04 08:26:26 PM  
6 votes:

Blushing Wall Flower: PC LOAD LETTER: Spray my man chowder on your mom?

No.

You take that back. Right now.


I'm pretty sure that's stuff that doesn't go back. Its like toothpaste.
LlamaGirl [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:38:58 PM  
5 votes:
Take a picture.

Upload to Fark.

Post a thread asking "Wat do?"
LlamaGirl [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 08:00:34 PM  
4 votes:
media.screened.comView Full Size
monty666 [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:52:21 PM  
4 votes:
Quickly jump in the elevator and press the buttons for every floor and then run out and laugh and then pull my cell phone out of my man purse and call a psychic and ask him "guess what I just saw"
UsikFark [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:42:21 PM  
4 votes:
platypuscomix.netView Full Size
Lucky LaRue [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:38:23 PM  
4 votes:
I check dictionary.com on my cell phone for the definition of "man bag"
One Bad Apple [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 09:40:35 PM  
3 votes:
wearysloth.comView Full Size



Shoot zem. Shoot zem both.
Blushing Wall Flower
2013-03-04 07:55:19 PM  
3 votes:

LlamaGirl: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

That only works if you aren't a wonky titted freak!


And I disagree. Nothing hynotizes a man like an unbalanced pair of boobs. They can't look away, it's like watching a trainwreck with nipples.
redoctober65 [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-04 07:52:32 PM  
3 votes:
I'd annex the Sudetenland and sign a non-aggression pact with Russia
Bugerz
2013-03-04 10:34:37 PM  
2 votes:
What the fark is going on in here? Oh, standard ITG shiat, a random TC shout out, and llama throwing tampons At strangers. Par for the course, carry on.
Brainsick
2013-03-04 09:05:38 PM  
2 votes:
i127.photobucket.comView Full Size

Start strangling the dude strangling the other dude

/There can be only one
PC LOAD LETTER [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 09:00:48 PM  
2 votes:

SilentStrider: Blushing Wall Flower: PC LOAD LETTER: Spray my man chowder on your mom?

No.

You take that back. Right now.

I'm pretty sure that's stuff that doesn't go back. Its like toothpaste.


Wow. You outdid me. By leagues.
orclover
2013-03-04 08:41:52 PM  
2 votes:
chud.comView Full Size

Choking is what you do when you eat chicken wings too fast.  What were talking about here is  STRANGLING.
occamswrist
2013-03-04 08:34:03 PM  
2 votes:
I'd take out my cellphone and call the cops and then give the chokee some words of encouragement like "the cops will be here in about 20 minutes. See if you can hang on until then."
MBK [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 08:14:53 PM  
2 votes:

atlfarkette: Fighting crime with vagoo blood.


GIVING ANAL BY DAYLIGHT

I AM THE ONE CALLED SAILOR POON

yeah I have way too much time on my hand.
atlfarkette [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 08:00:06 PM  
2 votes:

LlamaGirl: atlfarkette: LlamaGirl: Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.

[img.photobucket.com image 139x192]

LOL! If that wont freak the attacker out I don't know what will.

I'd love to see any man that would not shriek like a girl and stop whatever he is doing if that happened.


Or even better if it was a pad. Just stick that thing to his face. He ain't fighting no more!

/we're disgusting
TheGogmagog
2013-03-05 08:37:30 AM  
1 vote:
What do you mean? An African or European man bag?
Tricky Chicken
2013-03-05 07:52:55 AM  
1 vote:
One man is choking another to death.
I have a cell phone, a man bag, and my car keys?

Better drink my own piss.
mikaloyd
2013-03-04 11:38:11 PM  
1 vote:

LlamaGirl: Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.

[img.photobucket.com image 139x192]


bearstudy.orgView Full Size



That bear cub will never sleep again
StokeyBob
2013-03-04 11:22:54 PM  
1 vote:
Being already a pretty much disarmed public, I'm surprised anyone got involved.
The Muthaship
2013-03-04 10:19:47 PM  
1 vote:
Please tell me someone kicked both their asses after finding out what they were up to.
C18H27NO3
2013-03-04 10:14:26 PM  
1 vote:
No good deed goes unpunished as evidenced throughout history.
I would just stand there and wait for the next elevator contemplating why I have a man bag because if I intervened and saved the day somebody somewhere would sue me for something.
Infobahn [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 10:13:44 PM  
1 vote:

NutWrench: Pop quiz hotshot. The elevator door opens and one man is choking another to death. You have a cell phone, a man bag, and your car keys. What do you do?

I pull out a gun and shoot the strangler, then we all share a good laugh at their wacky prank?


It took some time for us to get to this comment...
NutWrench
2013-03-04 10:07:57 PM  
1 vote:
Pop quiz hotshot. The elevator door opens and one man is choking another to death. You have a cell phone, a man bag, and your car keys. What do you do?

I pull out a gun and shoot the strangler, then we all share a good laugh at their wacky prank?
mrlewish
2013-03-04 10:01:01 PM  
1 vote:
Fark I am disappoint.
pauljohnwhite.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
Yogimus
2013-03-04 09:56:22 PM  
1 vote:

Dokushin: I allow a slight grin to decorate my weathered countenance, reaching immediately for the button securing my jeans; using slight but sure movements to overcome the friction imposed by my earthen girth, I allow them to note my commando-style lack of undergarments, and then begin the  pelvic thrusting

.

First a jump to the left
99.998er
2013-03-04 09:49:06 PM  
1 vote:
Yell the "safe" word.
UsikFark [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 09:28:43 PM  
1 vote:

arentol: My "man bag" has a 10mm in it. So this doesn't end well for these "pranksters".


10mm is kind of small for a testicle's diameter... and there should be more than one.
Kumana Wanalaia
2013-03-04 08:54:48 PM  
1 vote:
I attack the darkness.
KrispyKritter
2013-03-04 08:40:21 PM  
1 vote:
take advantage of a captive audience, hand out some Jehovah's Witness tracts, find out if they have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour
martid4
2013-03-04 08:30:16 PM  
1 vote:
Knock both of them unconscious, grab the wallets and walk away nonchalantly.

/was kicked in the man bag once.
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener
2013-03-04 07:58:08 PM  
1 vote:

LlamaGirl: Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.



Oh, c'mon.

You probably shouldn't rag on the attacker.
sarahthustra [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-04 07:56:21 PM  
1 vote:
immediately begin cpr.
UsikFark [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:52:33 PM  
1 vote:

Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!


Something will be choked.
Fatty McFatcheeks
2013-03-04 07:49:54 PM  
1 vote:
wait for the next elevator.
Blushing Wall Flower
2013-03-04 07:48:48 PM  
1 vote:
FLASH YER BEWBS!
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-04 07:47:43 PM  
1 vote:
Throw them both down the well and pee on them.
I_C_Weener [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:47:02 PM  
1 vote:
Wait...which floor are they going to?
LlamaGirl [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:45:45 PM  
1 vote:
KICK THEM IN THE TESIBULLS!
jadeblue
2013-03-04 07:44:38 PM  
1 vote:

violentsalvation: Shoot the hostage.

I came in to post:
silentstephi.comView Full Size
Linkster
2013-03-04 07:44:36 PM  
1 vote:
Watch until the doors close then take the stairs!
eyeq360 [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:42:23 PM  
1 vote:
Swing the man bag as a modified flail.  Take the cell phone, use it as a fist weight and punch the choker.  If the car keys are on a chain, you can use that to flail at the choker--eye level.  Or you take the car keys and use that as a eye-gouging implement.
If you don't want to use your items as tools of pain, a good strike to the shin might do the job.
No_47
2013-03-04 07:41:41 PM  
1 vote:
pee on them
 
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