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(Daily Mail)   Pop quiz hotshot. The elevator door opens and one man is choking another to death. You have a cell phone, a man bag, and your car keys. What do you do?   ( dailymail.co.uk) divider line
268
    More: Amusing  
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17620 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2013 at 8:25 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



268 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Newest | Show all

 
Lucky LaRue [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:38:23 PM  
I check dictionary.com on my cell phone for the definition of "man bag"
 
LlamaGirl [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:38:58 PM  
Take a picture.

Upload to Fark.

Post a thread asking "Wat do?"
 
No_47
2013-03-04 07:41:41 PM  
pee on them
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:42:20 PM  
Kick the attacker in the head.
 
gunsmack
2013-03-04 07:42:21 PM  
Keep going wherever I was going.

/ pretty far past giving a shiat anymore
 
UsikFark [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:42:21 PM  
platypuscomix.netView Full Size
 
eyeq360 [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:42:23 PM  
Swing the man bag as a modified flail.  Take the cell phone, use it as a fist weight and punch the choker.  If the car keys are on a chain, you can use that to flail at the choker--eye level.  Or you take the car keys and use that as a eye-gouging implement.
If you don't want to use your items as tools of pain, a good strike to the shin might do the job.
 
violentsalvation [recently expired TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:43:00 PM  
Shoot the hostage.
 
Yuri Futanari
2013-03-04 07:43:58 PM  
Masturbate furiously.
 
doglover [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:44:15 PM  
I break it up.
 
Linkster
2013-03-04 07:44:36 PM  
Watch until the doors close then take the stairs!
 
jadeblue
2013-03-04 07:44:38 PM  

violentsalvation: Shoot the hostage.

I came in to post:
silentstephi.comView Full Size
 
oi_piss_me_off [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:45:16 PM  
leave the cell phone, cross the river with the man bag and the car keys, leave the keys on the other side, go back with the bag and get the phone and take them both back.
 
LlamaGirl [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:45:45 PM  
KICK THEM IN THE TESIBULLS!
 
we'refromthesamestory [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:46:04 PM  
Subby,

What are you smoking? Can I get some?
 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener
2013-03-04 07:46:47 PM  
Take the stairs.
 
I_C_Weener [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:47:02 PM  
Wait...which floor are they going to?
 
LlamaGirl [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:47:31 PM  
Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.

img.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-04 07:47:43 PM  
Throw them both down the well and pee on them.
 
Purelilac
2013-03-04 07:48:07 PM  
I saw that video on Gawker. I'd probably start screaming and call 911 at the same time.
 
LlamaGirl [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:48:21 PM  
IM THE PEE-ER DANGIT
 
SilentStrider
2013-03-04 07:48:31 PM  

I_C_Weener: Wait...which floor are they going to?


The Thirteenth.
 
Blushing Wall Flower
2013-03-04 07:48:48 PM  
FLASH YER BEWBS!
 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener
2013-03-04 07:49:28 PM  

Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!


THAT'S YOUR ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING
 
Fatty McFatcheeks
2013-03-04 07:49:54 PM  
wait for the next elevator.
 
Linkster
2013-03-04 07:50:00 PM  

Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!


Good answer!
 
Yuri Futanari
2013-03-04 07:50:04 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

THAT'S YOUR ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING


That is the answer to everything.
 
SilentStrider
2013-03-04 07:52:00 PM  

Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!


*note to self, find where Blushing Wall Flower works, wait in elevator with accomplice for her to arrive*
 
monty666 [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:52:21 PM  
Quickly jump in the elevator and press the buttons for every floor and then run out and laugh and then pull my cell phone out of my man purse and call a psychic and ask him "guess what I just saw"
 
OtherLittleGuy [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-04 07:52:21 PM  
Fix the cable.
 
Blushing Wall Flower
2013-03-04 07:52:23 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

THAT'S YOUR ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING


*snort* You wish!

Linkster: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

Good answer!


\o/
 
SirVagTheTighty
2013-03-04 07:52:25 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

THAT'S YOUR ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING


The liters are going to think you are a questionable lady now lol
 
LlamaGirl [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:52:27 PM  

Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!


That only works if you aren't a wonky titted freak!
 
redoctober65 [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-04 07:52:32 PM  
I'd annex the Sudetenland and sign a non-aggression pact with Russia
 
UsikFark [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:52:33 PM  

Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!


Something will be choked.
 
I_C_Weener [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:53:43 PM  

LlamaGirl: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

That only works if you aren't a wonky titted freak!


Well, looks like I've got a new term to GIS.
 
Blushing Wall Flower
2013-03-04 07:54:27 PM  

SirVagTheTighty: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

THAT'S YOUR ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING

The liters are going to think you are a questionable lady now lol


I wasn't talking about *my* boobs, now was I? :P
 
LlamaGirl [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:55:01 PM  
I pull a delicious pastrami on rye out of my man-bear-pig and I offer it to the choker.

The chokee gets a sip of my delicious Ecto Cooler.
 
Blushing Wall Flower
2013-03-04 07:55:19 PM  

LlamaGirl: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

That only works if you aren't a wonky titted freak!


And I disagree. Nothing hynotizes a man like an unbalanced pair of boobs. They can't look away, it's like watching a trainwreck with nipples.
 
atlfarkette [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:55:32 PM  

LlamaGirl: Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.

[img.photobucket.com image 139x192]


LOL! If that wont freak the attacker out I don't know what will.
 
Linkster
2013-03-04 07:55:41 PM  

I_C_Weener: LlamaGirl: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

That only works if you aren't a wonky titted freak!

Well, looks like I've got a new term to GIS.


Also include Walleyed!
 
LlamaGirl [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:56:11 PM  
My eyes are up here Michael!
 
sarahthustra [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-04 07:56:21 PM  
immediately begin cpr.
 
I_C_Weener [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:56:33 PM  

Linkster: I_C_Weener: LlamaGirl: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

That only works if you aren't a wonky titted freak!

Well, looks like I've got a new term to GIS.

Also include Walleyed!


Oh god.  It's like Picasso threw up on RedTube.
 
SilentStrider
2013-03-04 07:56:49 PM  

I_C_Weener: LlamaGirl: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

That only works if you aren't a wonky titted freak!

Well, looks like I've got a new term to GIS.


That GIS is surprisingly mostly safe for work.
 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener
2013-03-04 07:56:51 PM  

SirVagTheTighty: The liters are going to think you are a questionable lady now lol


I DON'T HAVE TO BE OBJECTIFIED LIKE THIS


Yuri Futanari: That is the answer to everything.


I thought 42 was the answer?


Blushing Wall Flower: *snort* You wish!


No, I wished that I had the ability to fly.

It didn't even work.  I can't even jump very high.

*sad face*
 
LlamaGirl [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:56:55 PM  

atlfarkette: LlamaGirl: Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.

[img.photobucket.com image 139x192]

LOL! If that wont freak the attacker out I don't know what will.


I'd love to see any man that would not shriek like a girl and stop whatever he is doing if that happened.
 
GWSuperfan [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-03-04 07:57:23 PM  

Blushing Wall Flower: it's like watching a trainwreck with nipples.


Farkied.
 
I_C_Weener [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:57:56 PM  

SilentStrider: I_C_Weener: LlamaGirl: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

That only works if you aren't a wonky titted freak!

Well, looks like I've got a new term to GIS.

That GIS is surprisingly mostly safe for work.


I know.  But they didn't!!!  Way to ruin everything!
 
spcMike
2013-03-04 07:57:58 PM  

LlamaGirl: My eyes are up here Michael!


I like care
 
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