If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CNN)   Prince Charles anxiously awaiting news of his mum, tells Camilla to get her best riding gear ready for a big ceremony   ( cnn.com) divider line
    More: News  
•       •       •

25698 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Mar 2013 at 11:17 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-03-03 11:54:05 AM  
5 votes:
Elton John will always be The Queen of England.
2013-03-03 11:50:06 AM  
5 votes:
So it;'s true. A Royal Flush beats a pair of Douches.
2013-03-03 11:27:28 AM  
5 votes:
frugal-cafe.comView Full Size

She's just got a tummy ache.

(Sadly wasted 'she's got the trots' joke as it wasn't Camilla.
2013-03-03 11:42:44 AM  
4 votes:
I think this is a great opportunity for a pair of Australian DeeJays to pull one of their whacky Zoo Crew antics.
2013-03-03 11:27:23 AM  
4 votes:
I wonder if they call it the "Cadbury squirts" over there.
2013-03-03 01:27:47 PM  
3 votes:
My ultimate CSB:
I was at a reception with Prince Charles.  My girlfriend was chatting with him and brought me into the conversation.
She: we were just talking about writing. The prince was saying he employs five speech writers.  Towatchoverme here is a writer.
Me: Are they very good?
Charles: Well, no.  I think it's very difficult to find someone to think one's thoughts after one, as it were.
Me: oh yes. It's a lot like a marriage.  Very hard to find a good one.
*Girlfriend shoots me a panicked look.  The enormity of what I've said and who I've said it to begins to dawn. Visions of the Tower of London float before me.*
 Me: ... Or at least that's what Ted Sorensen used to say, who was Kennedy's speechwriter.
 Charles waits a beat ... takes a sip of gin and tonic ... points at me, with a pink finger, and with a hint of a grin says: ... Well played.
2013-03-03 12:10:06 PM  
3 votes:
2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

Don't worry, subby.  We got our best detective on it
2013-03-03 11:38:14 AM  
3 votes:

bborchar: Always found it interesting that the British say "in hospital" as a state of being instead of "in the hospital".  Completely off-topic, though.

/Does anyone really want to see Charles as King?

God, save the Queen.
2013-03-03 11:21:04 AM  
3 votes:
So ERII has the shaits.
2013-03-03 02:21:00 PM  
2 votes:
Bring the Queen her brown corduroy pants . . .
2013-03-03 01:51:16 PM  
2 votes:

roflmaonow: It's a stomach flu.

i.qkme.meView Full Size
2013-03-03 12:57:54 PM  
2 votes:

WeenerGord: ontariolightning: Funny how the americans are commenting on the monarchy when they havent a clue

Funny how ass hats all over the world biatch about Americans when they haven't a clue,  or an apostrophe..

It's  ontariolightning. Hating on Americans is the only thing he lives for now.
2013-03-03 11:57:54 AM  
2 votes:
keepcalmstudio.comView Full Size
2013-03-03 11:54:10 AM  
2 votes:
Incontinentia......... Incontinentia Buttocks.
2013-03-03 11:43:13 AM  
2 votes:
Well, a royal funeral might bring Pippa's behind to the forefront again
2013-03-03 11:28:43 AM  
2 votes:
Better use the Tears of Lys next time Charlie
2013-03-03 11:25:31 AM  
2 votes:
So who are the radio shows going to impersonate when calling the hospital for an update?
2013-03-03 11:22:04 AM  
2 votes:
Don't over-react

/Her Majesty had a slight case of the Royal Trots
2013-03-03 11:21:42 AM  
2 votes:
It's a stomach flu. Nothing to see here. False deathwatch alarm.
2013-03-03 11:20:42 AM  
2 votes:
I'd like to see it go to Harry. He'd have some fun with it, Louis XIV style.
2013-03-04 04:43:36 PM  
1 vote:
Ok, so remember that BBC show Hustle? Where they go after the tabloid gutter-rat with a story about the Queen being replaced after she was killed in the Blitz? (I think it was the Queen Mum now that I think of it, but I was thinking QE2 when I started this)

So I'm looking for a picture from that or some other source taking that as credible to make a joke, and instead, I come across the UK version of Birthers. For those of you arguing what the hell the Queen has to do with the everyday running of the country, check out this big ole bucket o'crazy:


At that Coronation ceremony, Elizabeth signed a binding contract, before God and the British people, that she would do her utmost to maintain The Laws of God. This she solemnly swore to do, with her hand placed on the Sovereign's Bible, before kissing The Bible and signing the contract. Please note well that in The Law of God, found in the first five books of The Bible, man-made legislation is strictly prohibited.

The very first time that she gave "royal assent" to any piece of man-made legislation, she broke her solemn oath with God and with the British people and she ceased to be the monarch with immediate effect. To date, she has broken her oath thousands and thousands of times, which is a water-proof, iron-clad, undeniable FACT. She is therefore without question not the monarch, but instead is a criminal guilty of high treason among her other numerous crimes.

Did you catch that? QE2 made a contract to uphold "the laws of God", but the laws of God prohibit any man-made laws, which means as soon as she approved a piece of legislation, she broke the contract. The result is that she should be stripped of her authority as monarch. Here comes the crazy - since she broke her contract, there can be no criminal prosecutions without a new monarch, because all criminal cases are Regina v. Douchebag, and since the Queen isn't the Queen, there can't be any criminal prosecutions on her behalf. You really have to read the whole thing, because it goes even further off the rails from there - for instance, did you know that the oath that lawyers and judges in England take is the B.A.R. - the British Accreditation Registry? And that all American, Canadian, and Australian lawyers who are members of the bar and take an oath to that effect also report to the Queen, because B.A.R. must mean exactly that and the Queen is the head of the B.A.R.? Yeah, this is some goooooooood stuff - the kind of sovereign citizen derp that you just can't stop herping.
2013-03-03 03:24:14 PM  
1 vote:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Don't over-react

/Her Majesty had a slight case of the Royal Trots


Is she riding Camilla to and from the loo?
2013-03-03 02:57:18 PM  
1 vote:
img.spokeo.comView Full Size
2013-03-03 02:51:18 PM  
1 vote:

uber humper: Prince Charles the patron saint of all basement dwellers.

1. no useful skills, doesn't work
2. lives off his mom's money and entitlement
3. lives in mom's house
4. stands to gain when she kicks off
5. a little strange with poor social skills

What is his Fark handle™?
2013-03-03 02:34:24 PM  
1 vote:
Prince Charles the patron saint of all basement dwellers.

1. no useful skills, doesn't work
2. lives off his mom's money and entitlement
3. lives in mom's house
4. stands to gain when she kicks off
5. a little strange with poor social skills
2013-03-03 02:05:52 PM  
1 vote:
In some distant future time, when QEII exits stage right, they should make HARRY the king. That'd be cool. It'd be like having Joe Biden as president.
2013-03-03 01:50:07 PM  
1 vote:

ontariolightning: Funny how the americans are commenting on the monarchy when they havent a clue

And that's the way we goddamn like it. There's a good reason we told you Limey bastards to GTFO.
2013-03-03 01:16:34 PM  
1 vote:

cptjeff: Besides that being wrong, you do realize that they get to choose their name as monarch, right? Elizabeth kept her given name, but since the English monarchy has had a bit of bad luck with Charles, Prince Charles will probably choose something else. William, who the hell knows.

Some day in the future, King Willy's daughter will name herself Queen TurdFerguson and will wear a giant foam hat for a crown.

2013-03-03 12:54:10 PM  
1 vote:
Must be a really bad case of Gastroenteritis. She's been on the throne 60 years...
2013-03-03 12:53:58 PM  
1 vote:

ontariolightning: Funny how the americans are commenting on the monarchy when they havent a clue

images.hitfix.comView Full Size
2013-03-03 12:40:59 PM  
1 vote:
Could this be the underlying cause???

stuffpoint.comView Full Size
2013-03-03 12:26:01 PM  
1 vote:
Well, I think if this were repeated across the entire country, it'd probably be very messy...Colin?

i47.tinypic.comView Full Size

/No word yet about the swong...
2013-03-03 12:22:13 PM  
1 vote:
"The 86-year-old queen took the throne in 1952."

That's one epic case of shiats!
2013-03-03 12:12:38 PM  
1 vote:
So basically, we're talking about a Royal Flush... just not this kind.

artpoker.netView Full Size
2013-03-03 12:02:48 PM  
1 vote:
So, this is why Charles has the long face . . .
2013-03-03 11:55:38 AM  
1 vote:
So we're playing a game of thrones are we?
2013-03-03 11:55:32 AM  
1 vote:

Nothing To See Here: Elton John will always be The Queen of England.

i thought that was Freddie Mercury
2013-03-03 11:53:13 AM  
1 vote:
It's probably time for Lizzy to think about letting Charlie have a go at king. He's no spring chicken himself, he's got 10, 15 years tops? Then it'll be time for little Willy to take over and we can all be excited at the coronation.

The longest reign of a British monarch is the 63 years, 216 days or 63 years 7 months and 3 days ofVictoria between 1837 and 1901. The second longest reign is that of the current monarch, Elizabeth II (since February 1952).

Really, Lizzy, you're trying for Vicki's record. Aren't you?
2013-03-03 11:51:12 AM  
1 vote:
This chick, as the official head-of-state-without-official-power she's basically the WalMart greeter for a whole country, right?
2013-03-03 11:38:47 AM  
1 vote:
She's got another 40 in her. You have no idea how resiliently they designed that model.
2013-03-03 11:23:09 AM  
1 vote:
Oh, she's not going anywhere yet. Which is good as she's a much better monarch than ol' Charles. William has a lot more hair to lose before Elizabeth goes and things move down the line.
2013-03-03 11:22:57 AM  
1 vote:
The Queen is a robot.

I thought everyone already knew that.
Displayed 42 of 42 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.