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(ABC News)   In a bizarre lawsuit, a man claims a vengeful ex-girlfriend duped a sperm bank into handing over his specimens, which she then turned into a bouncing baby boy   ( abcnews.go.com) divider line
    More: Scary, girlfriend duped, specimens, sperm, lawsuits  
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7898 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Mar 2013 at 3:33 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2013-03-02 03:13:11 PM  
9 votes:
He should switch to direct deposit.

/Blatantly lifted from article comments
2013-03-02 03:55:56 PM  
7 votes:
That reminds me of the time our local sperm bank got robbed.

This guy walks into a sperm bank, decked out in a 9mm and a ski mask.  Points his gun at the receptionist.

"This is a stick-up" he yells while pointning the gun at the receptionist.

"I-I-I think you've got the wrong kinda bank," stuttered the gal at the front desk.

"STFU I know where I am, biatch. Do what I say and nobody gets hurt.  What's in that fridge behind you?"

"Samples," she says, "We don't have any cash here."

"Open one up!!!" he commanded.  When she hesitates he thrusts the gun right to her forehead.  She turns around to the fridge, gets out a sample, opens it up, tries to hand it to him.

"Biatch I don't want that.  You swallow it.  Swallow it now."  She hesitates once more and the robber once again puts the steel to her face.  She obliges and then the robber demands she does it again.  So she takes out another sample, opens it, swallows it.

The robber takes off his mask.  It's the receptionist's husband.  "There," he sighed, "was that so farking hard?"
2013-03-02 06:06:56 PM  
1 vote:

BarkingUnicorn: betelgeux: Without reading the article, do sperm banks allow people to rummage around and take what they want?

Fark you if you can't read the article.

Since when is reading the article part of the terms of use agreement on Fark? If it were, 3 out of 4 comments would be stricken.
So Fark You! for being an ass!
2013-03-02 04:54:35 PM  
1 vote:
i1.ytimg.comView Full Size

Picture of the victim.
2013-03-02 04:51:42 PM  
1 vote:
IMHO this fellow should be given custody if he wants the boy while psycho ex-girlfriend and Bank O Sperm should pick up all expenses including college and incidentals.
2013-03-02 04:19:59 PM  
1 vote:
I-I first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love...Yes, a profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I-I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence. I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women, er, women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake. But I do deny them my essence.
2013-03-02 03:54:28 PM  
1 vote:

betelgeux: Without reading the article, do sperm banks allow people to rummage around and take what they want?

What you're describing is a sperm lost and found.
2013-03-02 03:51:27 PM  
1 vote:
Should have never surrendered his essence, Mandrake.
2013-03-02 03:40:20 PM  
1 vote:
There was 500cc's of your father in that cooler!
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