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(Philly Burbs)   We welcome all worshippers at the Church of the Repeated Punch in the Face   ( phillyburbs.com) divider line
    More: Scary  
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8459 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Feb 2013 at 11:04 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2013-02-27 04:52:36 PM  
1 vote:
Wow I work right down the road from this Church. Don't really hear about too much crime/violence in the general area (wealthy white suburbia)
2013-02-27 03:13:26 PM  
1 vote:
Better than years of repeated punches in the colon as a boy.
2013-02-27 02:21:33 PM  
1 vote:
Holy crap! I went to that church for years growing up. My parents still go there!

2013-02-27 01:30:30 PM  
1 vote:
We put the "accost" in Pentacostalism.
2013-02-27 12:35:52 PM  
1 vote:
Welcome to the Church of Why are You Punching Yourself?

The neighbourhood bully when I was a child became a fundamentalist Pastor when he "grew up".

Somehow, I didn't really find this surprising.

Responsive Prayer

Pastor (parts in italics):   Oh, Lord, why are your sheep punching themselves in the face.

Congregation (parts in normal font): Your premise is faulty. We are not punching ourselves.

Let us stop punching ourselves in the face!

You are making us punch ourselves in the face.

Let us stop punching ourselves in the face.

Please, stop. For the Love of God, please stop!

We are all sinners and guilty of punching ourselves in the face!

It's not us, really, it isn't. You are the one who is doing the punching!

Thank you Lord for not punching us in the face, though, lo! we really deserve it.

Please Lord, let the punching stop!

And now we will take up collection. Be generous and maybe the punching will stop.

Amen, Lord. And once again, we implore you, let the punching stop!


And there you have religion in a nutshell, so to speak, or at least ONE KIND of religion. I am aware of many others. The villages where I lived and grew up where basically labs in comparative religion for anybody over the age of seven and smart enough to pay attention.
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