If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   "Swimmer mauled to death by Great White Shark in front of hundreds of tourists on New Zealand beach as armed police opened fire on the animal at least 20 times." Sonofabiatch. Landshark   ( dailymail.co.uk) divider line
    More: Scary, New Zealand, law enforcement, great whites, New Zealand beach, tourists  
•       •       •

14830 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Feb 2013 at 9:07 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-02-27 10:34:30 AM  
4 votes:
d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.netView Full Size
2013-02-27 09:14:08 AM  
4 votes:

AirForceVet: Tragedy to hear about this. My condolences to his family and friends.

How do you know the shark was male?
2013-02-27 09:10:56 AM  
3 votes:
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size

Good riddance...
2013-02-27 09:52:05 AM  
2 votes:

Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief. It was comin' back, from the island of Tinian to Laytee, just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, chief? You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know... was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. Huh huh. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, chief. The sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it's... kinda like ol' squares in battle like a, you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo. And the idea was, the shark comes to the nearest man and that man, he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark would go away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in and rip you to pieces.

Y'know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men! I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand! I don't know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday mornin' chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player, boson's mate. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up and down in the water, just like a kinda top. Up ended. Well... he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us, he swung in low and he saw us. He's a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper, anyway he saw us and come in low. And three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and start to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

That was one of the best scenes in the Muppet Movie.
2013-02-27 09:39:35 AM  
2 votes:

MBooda: impromptu complete-the-caption-contest:

"We're gonna need a bigger..."

reggiestake.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2013-02-27 09:26:08 AM  
2 votes:
A co-worker of mine was in New Zealand 2 weeks ago, shark was late.
2013-02-27 09:20:01 AM  
2 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-02-27 07:59:59 AM  
2 votes:
mojoimage.comView Full Size

"How's Skoora taking it?"

"Not well!..."
2013-02-27 10:46:07 AM  
1 vote:
I wonder if the swimmer had previously eaten shark. Maybe it was personal.
2013-02-27 10:21:30 AM  
1 vote:

stevie1der: AverageAmericanGuy: If you gain their trust, great white sharks are actually quite docile.

Hell of a step one there though.

The only sharks that do this sort of thing are the ones that had bad owners.
2013-02-27 09:51:00 AM  
1 vote:

Rawhead Rex: TNel: That's why I will not swim in the ocean.  Humans are not apex predators once we step foot into the water, screw it the sharks can have the water.

I know the odds of getting attacked are slim to none but that guy probably thought the same thing before he became dinner.  Just need to get the kids terrified of sharks and then I won't ever have to go the beach again (other than lakes of course, and then only  waist deep... damn phobias)

Exactly this...
I've already got my 10 year old daughter worried about sharks.
Just make em watch Jaws, Deep Blue Sea, and The Reef.
She's vowed to never get in the ocean.

Solid parenting skills.
2013-02-27 09:45:57 AM  
1 vote:

ongbok: stevie1der: AverageAmericanGuy: If you gain their trust, great white sharks are actually quite docile.

Hell of a step one there though.

Really. What if the Great White is just an asshole or has trust issues?

What we need is shark therapy. It's a bastards to get them on the couch, but well worth the trouble.
2013-02-27 09:43:51 AM  
1 vote:
surftherenow.comView Full Size

/sharks repeating
2013-02-27 09:36:22 AM  
1 vote:

AverageAmericanGuy: stevie1der: AverageAmericanGuy: If you gain their trust, great white sharks are actually quite docile.

Hell of a step one there though.

Doesn't seem so hard. Here's some chick swimming with a white.

[www.nydailynews.com image 635x338]

O sure, they're BFF's now, just wait until she gets a visit from her Aunt Flo.
2013-02-27 09:36:03 AM  
1 vote:
i.dailymail.co.ukView Full Size

that boat does not look nearly big enough
2013-02-27 09:33:05 AM  
1 vote:
Friends said they would never meat a better chum.
2013-02-27 09:26:43 AM  
1 vote:
4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

2013-02-27 09:19:49 AM  
1 vote:
If you gain their trust, great white sharks are actually quite docile.
2013-02-27 09:19:38 AM  
1 vote:
Wanted for questioning:
deviantart.comView Full Size
2013-02-27 09:17:36 AM  
1 vote:
What a Great White might look like...
i.dailymail.co.ukView Full Size

2013-02-27 09:09:45 AM  
1 vote:
Displayed 21 of 21 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.