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(The Atlantic Wire)   Today's conspiracy theory on why the pope is resigning: gay clergy sex parties and the plot of Godfather III   ( theatlanticwire.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, sex parties, gay sex, pope, male prostitutes  
•       •       •

4578 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Feb 2013 at 3:52 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-02-22 03:14:59 PM  
7 votes:
Great.  Now I've a mental image of the pope saying the immortal line "I'm going to make him an orifice he can't refuse"
2013-02-22 04:40:16 PM  
4 votes:
i47.tinypic.comView Full Size
2013-02-22 03:36:03 PM  
4 votes:
My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Pope Benedict pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.
2013-02-22 03:18:30 PM  
4 votes:
I am not one for conspiracy theories, but I like this one.  The rich taste of hypocrisy with a mellow undertone of schadenfreude  makes for a lovely combination.
2013-02-22 04:35:35 PM  
2 votes:
Godfather III was easily the best of the trilogy.
2013-02-22 03:57:00 PM  
2 votes:
The Pope himself being exposed as gay would be about as awesome a thing as I can conceive of.

Although not for the mental imagery....
2013-02-23 01:18:45 AM  
1 vote:

oakleym82: CSB?
I was raised Catholic, I was an altar boy, and I was really into my Catholicism.  I also worked at my church a few nights per week while in HS stuffing bulletins, answering phones, and doing other secretarial stuff.  I lost the faith my senior year*, and only occasionally feel the tinge of Catholic guilt.

Our pastor was gay, into gay porn, and into trading gay porn.  It all came out when the diocese held some sort of internal investigation.  Visting priests would come around and swap gay porn.  I don't know what else they did.

Anyway the whole point of this is that when all this came out, I guess what was discovered (or at least speculated), was that the church actively recruited gay men into the clergy, because the celibacy that came with the cloth would prevent them from the abomination of homosexual acts.  I suppose this is all speculation but it makes sense to me.  The gay porn priest at my parish was in the Marine Core during Vietnam, and came back utterly confused.

/no, he never touched me.  nice enough guy, but kind of an asshole to the "teen workers" when we didn't do some menial secretarial shiat right.
//once I was alter-serving for confirmation and the Bishop told me I had the calling.  Scary.

*I lost the faith completely and instantaneously.  It was the Sunday morning after the Saturday night that I lost my virginity.  I was sitting on the alter looking out into the congregation during the Homily as the (above) priest was going on about the abhorrence of abortion, euthanasia, the death penalty, and... contraception.  Having just committed the ultimate sin the night before, I was feeling pretty shiatty until I looked out into the congregation to observe everyone nodding in agreement with him and noticed each family had one, or maybe two children.  Never stopped having sex since.  Sex is awesome.

You quit because you couldn't hide your hairy palms any longer?  I've heard worse.
2013-02-23 01:08:12 AM  
1 vote:

Slaves2Darkness: So, the Pope is Gay.

The dresses and pretty red shoes aren't gay.  They're merely flamboyant.
2013-02-22 07:06:40 PM  
1 vote:

shortymac: You're can't tell people to not have sex AND not masturbate and have them come out normal.

If they want priests to stop having sex they should allow them to get married. It works for everyone else.
2013-02-22 05:44:20 PM  
1 vote:
Each time he tries to come out of the closet they keep pushing him back in.
2013-02-22 05:11:30 PM  
1 vote:
I like that he has a pacemaker.  God designed him a bit faulty, and instead of following God's will and perhaps dying naturally, he gives him the finger and gets a mechanical device to keep him alive.  The hypocrisy in the church is endless.
2013-02-22 05:02:52 PM  
1 vote:
No one saw Godfather III.
2013-02-22 04:47:49 PM  
1 vote:
This guy was elected pope and accepted by Catholics despite everyone knowing the role he played in covering up the Church's sex scandals. Whatever got him to resign has to be huge. Like, he was diddling altar boys in line at the Vatican Bank to cash forged checks from the Mafia while making prank phone calls to the widows of 9/11.
2013-02-22 04:46:31 PM  
1 vote:
I feel obliged to point out that McCain was actually quite tactful, since he wasn't talking to his wife.

In his 1992 Senate bid, McCain was joined on the campaign trail by his wife, Cindy, as well as campaign aide Doug Cole and consultant Wes Gullett. At one point, Cindy playfully twirled McCain's hair and said, "You're getting a little thin up there." McCain's face reddened, and he responded, "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you c--t."

http://rawstory.com/news/2008/McCain_temper_boiled_over_in_92_0407.h tm l
2013-02-22 04:32:07 PM  
1 vote:

Nabb1: My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Pope Benedict pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

Thank you, Simone.
2013-02-22 04:30:39 PM  
1 vote:
Female and married clergy will definitely ruin the gay sex parties.
2013-02-22 04:15:14 PM  
1 vote:
Bruxellensis: "Someone brought lemons to the party. "

What you did there: it cannot be unseen.
2013-02-22 04:14:14 PM  
1 vote:
 "We'll gladly put you at the helm of our little fleet.  But our ships must all sail in the same direction."
- Licio Lucchesi

1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2013-02-22 04:06:39 PM  
1 vote:

SpdrJay: I always thought that relationship between Palpatine and Vader seemed a little sketch.

Palpatine freeballs under his robe.
2013-02-22 04:02:41 PM  
1 vote:
I always thought that relationship between Palpatine and Vader seemed a little sketch.
2013-02-22 03:59:45 PM  
1 vote:
Fark them. I'm down with the church of Zardoz
2013-02-22 03:59:02 PM  
1 vote:

neversubmit: Clock Spider Jerusalem: Cousin farkers? Sofia Coppola's shiatty acting? How are the homosexuals involved?

homo cousin farkers that's how

Stupid Coppolas.

Someone get Nicky Cage to the Vatican to figure this shiat out.
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