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Dorner Kebab, and Kim Jong drops the big Un, and Chris Brown smashes his Porsche, but only because he loves it so much: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/10 - 2/16
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-02-18 2:49:33 PM (6 comments) | Permalink

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2330 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Feb 2013 at 2:59 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Pretty good set of headlines this week. Well done, submitters.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-02-10 to Sat 2013-02-16:

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  Fox attacks four-week-old baby. "Fair and Balanced" my ass    
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  Men's friendships with women 'driven by sexual attraction' according to Dr. N. S. Sherlock of the Institute For the Study of the Forehead-Slappingly Obvious    
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  Day 2: The situation has grown dire. Passengers have eaten the carved watermelon that once adorned the now-empty buffet table. Without leisure activities, factions have formed. The Indonesian room stewards have folded towels into improvised weapons  

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  There's a good chance the next pope will be Canadian. Ehmen    
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  Kim Jong drops the Big Un    
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  Dorner kebab    
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  Woman needs four organs to survive, still has one hand free    
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  Interstate closed due to traffic yams    
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  Crippled cruise ship Triumph finally docks in Mobile, Alabama. Upon realizing they were in Alabama, passengers demand to be put back out to sea    
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  Woman marries man that killed her twin niwt reh dellik taht nam seirram namoW    
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  Now sit ye lads and hear the lore, of the sea shanty singer killed by a falling door. His manager at his side was also doomed. Both of their lives, far too early were consumed. Aargh    
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Sports:

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  Paterno family releases report that rips investigator Louis Freeh a new asshole, which Jerry Sandusky would like to see. NO THE REPORT    
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  Alex Rodriguez confirms he will miss spring training. Yankees say it's an unusual move since he doesn't usually abandon the team until October    
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  Runner's World asks: What makes a good rabbit? Subby would say long battery life, but she isn't sure that's what they meant    
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Geek:

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  Last week: Porn star Ron Jeremy admitted to hospital. This week: Researchers announce breakthrough in bone generation technology. The nurses are STILL limping    
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  Video game sales are dropping like cement shoes because gamers have discovered a thing called "real life" which includes neat skill trees such as talking, going outside, and being nice to strangers    
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  Tiny mutation may have shaped modern humans, rise of Magneto    
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Entertainment:

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  Chris Brown smashes his Porsche into a wall, but only because he loves it so much    
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  Lady Gaga cancels her entire tour after doctors learn her hip was torn this way    
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  Snoop Dogg Lion hit with $500k tax lien by the IRS. This is why you don't take tax advice from Willie Nelson    
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Politics:

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  John Boehner saw a camera today, which indicates six more weeks of sequestration bickering    
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  Hawaii state legislature kills bill that would legalize marijuana, says they're doing just fine with Meth and Spam    
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  Canadian senator and John Travolta lookalike forced out of the Canadian senate to protect "the dignity" of the Canadian senate. In other news, the Canadian senate still has dignity    
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Business:

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  Four in ten Americans are now living paycheck to paycheck. The other six are still asking "What's a paycheck?"    
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  John Deere 1Q up 22% on news that the unemployed have gone back to agrarian living    
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  This slideshow of airlines that no longer exist will make you long for the days when beautiful Trans-World Airlines stewardesses would offer you some of their famed TWA Tea    
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6 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2013-02-18 04:43:43 PM  
You forgot "15 Steps To The Perfect Profile Pic "

That was a great headline, It keeps showing up.
 
2013-02-18 04:54:09 PM  

tdyak: You forgot "15 Steps To The Perfect Profile Pic "

That was a great headline, It keeps showing up.


Greatest, headline, EVAR.
 
2013-02-18 11:09:56 PM  

tdyak: You forgot "15 Steps To The Perfect Profile Pic "

That was a great headline, It keeps showing up.


You'll get over it.
 
2013-02-18 11:45:48 PM  
The day that advertisements are no longer masquerading as content is the day I'll turn AdBlock back off. I could tolerate the animated ads which slow down my computer a little (running a 5 year old lappy, woo!) but cluttering up the site's main content is just uncalled for :/
 
2013-02-18 11:46:41 PM  

FTGodWin: tdyak: You forgot "15 Steps To The Perfect Profile Pic "

That was a great headline, It keeps showing up.

You'll get over it.


Hey, has anybody else had trouble buying the t-shirt for this headline? I can't find the icon to click to make my purchase. If you've already been lucky enough to buy one, please message me. I'd be willing to pay top dollar.
 
2013-02-19 01:56:00 PM  

glassgnome: The day that advertisements are no longer masquerading as content is the day I'll turn AdBlock back off. I could tolerate the animated ads which slow down my computer a little (running a 5 year old lappy, woo!) but cluttering up the site's main content is just uncalled for :/


Didn't realize adblock would fix that.  thanks.
 
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