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(Gawker)   Apparently some people question how a fire could burn a human body beyond recognition while leaving a perfectly intact drivers license handily available. Fark: The third copy of the license found in a week   ( gawker.com) divider line
    More: Unlikely, Christopher Dorner, diplomatic recognition, Lindbergh Field, conspiracy theorists  
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20271 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2013 at 12:27 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-02-14 12:41:43 PM  
10 votes:
i25.photobucket.comView Full Size

Looks legit to me.
2013-02-14 09:23:01 AM  
7 votes:
i42.tinypic.comView Full Size
2013-02-14 12:51:49 PM  
4 votes:
Even more curious is they still haven't found his long form drivers license. What is Dorner hiding?
2013-02-14 12:49:07 PM  
4 votes:
img842.imageshack.usView Full Size
2013-02-14 12:09:14 PM  
4 votes:
cdn.fd.uproxx.comView Full Size
2013-02-14 09:14:34 AM  
4 votes:
fongvisioncenter.comView Full Size
2013-02-14 02:13:04 PM  
3 votes:
24.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
2013-02-14 12:43:19 PM  
3 votes:
content9.flixster.comView Full Size
2013-02-14 10:28:44 AM  
3 votes:
americanradioworks.publicradio.orgView Full Size
2013-02-14 12:53:19 PM  
2 votes:
i272.photobucket.comView Full Size


/wrong thread?
2013-02-14 12:40:48 PM  
2 votes:
Is such a thing even possbile?

3.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

And  the answer is YES!
2013-02-14 12:33:34 PM  
2 votes:
ts3.mm.bing.netView Full Size

How they ID'd him.
2013-02-14 12:30:49 PM  
2 votes:
All police carry fire proof licenses. Everyone knows that.
2013-02-14 12:04:22 PM  
2 votes:

cretinbob: Third copy I can't explain but if had been laying on his back on the floor when the fire started and the wallet was in his pocket, yes it would have survived intact.

Well, that would explain why he first laid down before shooting himself (a well known suicide technique)

He wouldn't want to take the risk that if he was standing that when his body crumpled to the floor, that his wallet would have been at risk of burning. He probably also had some frequent buyer cards (jamba juice?) that he didn't want to ruin.
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-02-14 10:58:09 AM  
2 votes:
It's funny how these carefully scripted conspiracies always involve really careless oversights like multiple wallets and phony shooting victim photographs.

At least we know that reporters never make lazy mistakes so obviously it's a conspiracy between Obama, the Israelis and the sekrit muslins.

Oh, and the UN too.
2013-02-15 09:09:46 PM  
1 vote:

ReverendJasen: If he got multiple valid copies of his license (not hard to do), the DMV would have record of issing them, wouldn't they?

For investigative reporters:

Dont go researching this until the DMV has a chance to create the entries.
2013-02-14 09:50:21 PM  
1 vote:
i1.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
2013-02-14 06:55:48 PM  
1 vote:

Nebulious: [i25.photobucket.com image 428x244]

Looks legit to me.

Oh sweet hell...thank you for the laugh. I needed that.
2013-02-14 05:52:54 PM  
1 vote:
I still have my original MD Driver's License from when I was 18 in 1981. I almost didn't get it because at the end of the course when you have to parallel park I looked in the mirror instead of turning my head around after tipping the cone in front of me. My driver's test in CA in 1987 was even more momentous: I almost got T-boned because the old Dodge Dart stalled out as I was pulling into the road.

I know first-hand how easy it is for incompetents to get licenses. E.g., it's a good thing I used different feet for the gas & brake even in automatics.

I haven't driven since I wrecked my (now ex-) GF's Geo Metro ~10 years ago but I still keep getting a Driver's License just in case I ever need a U-Haul or something. But here in KY they make you turn the old one in so I can't keep dying over & over.
2013-02-14 04:51:39 PM  
1 vote:
The Jazz band shooting did not happen, FYI. It was a hoax.

LAPD only innocently shot at 3 people, hitting 2, with a couple hundred rounds.

Thankfully, those people are on paid vacation now for their actions. So we're good, right?

At least there's no other incriminating eviden..."Burn that motherf***er down..." woops.
2013-02-14 03:24:47 PM  
1 vote:

I_C_Weener: If they bulldoze the site and lose evidence all within 2 weeks like they did at Waco, then I'll start believing in conspiracy.

They'll send all the burnt timber to china.
2013-02-14 02:54:40 PM  
1 vote:
Of course his wallet survived the fire, he lost it when he was trying to steal a boat in San Diego.

could be another wallet.. I guess.
a man's got to have a place to keep his shiat.

...and he definitely would want to keep his driver's license, in case he got pulled over or needed to open a bank account or something.
2013-02-14 02:53:45 PM  
1 vote:

SheltemDragon: Just chiming in here on the grammar/title side show. Grammatically "Driver License" is the most correct because it is a document authorized the possessor as a "Driver". That being said "Driver's License" isn't really wrong either because the document is one that must be possessed by a legal driver. Or, more accurately, what I am trying to say is, "Yay English for being broken!"

authorizing..... yesh.
2013-02-14 02:19:31 PM  
1 vote:

cfroelic: namegoeshere: amindtat: the ha ha guy: cfroelic: It's driver license, not drivers license.

No, it's "driver's license", not "driver license".

Apparently in CA, it IS driver license:

[icenter.ucsd.edu image 225x146]

Huh. NY as well. Who knew?

I knew

In Kansas it's just "DL"
/spelling is hard and stuff
2013-02-14 02:07:13 PM  
1 vote:

dittybopper: Heh, yeah it is.

A couple of problems:

1. Dorner wouldn't likely call the news to say "I'm not dead yet!", because it's useful for his mission for everyone to *THINK* he's dead. Police stop doggy-guarding his targets, and the police don't have itchy trigger fingers every time they see a large bald black man. He can go after them at his leisure, secure in the knowledge that they are no longer looking for him. Then, when he's done what he set out to do, he can just walk away.

2. What news reader would believe him anyway? He's officially dead. Probably some crackpot. They call us all the time. Bet before the call is over he references Bababooey.

Rebuttal 1: Yeah, but the cops KNOW he's alive, so while they might let their guard down a little, it would only be to allow the media, and by association, the public, to forget about the whole thing. Meanwhile, they continue hunting him and take him out a little more quietly. Then, in June, on pg. 23 of the LA Times, a little article appears, "Unnamed homeless man found dead under Santa Monica Freeway overpass. Cause of death, unknown."

Rebuttal 2: Ric Romero is actually a TV reporter in...dun, dun, DUN!!!... Los Angeles!!!~!!11!1!

2013-02-14 02:06:08 PM  
1 vote:
The latest incarnation of the story before the fire:

Jim and Karen Reynolds told reporters Wednesday night in Big Bear that it was not two housekeepers, as widely reported, but they who discovered Dorner Tuesday morning in the apartment where he had taken refuge.

"We happened to walk in on him,'' Karen Reynolds said. "He tried to calm us down, saying very frequently he would not kill us.''

The couple said Dorner tied them up, put washcloths in their mouths, used a cord to tie pillowcases over their heads and told them to keep quiet while he left in their car. They said after he had been gone about a minute, they broke free and were able to contact authorities.

"You could tell he was professionally trained," said Karen Reynolds of Dorner, 33, who was fired from the Los Angeles Police Department in 2009.

- Initially reported two women.
Now it's reported a man and a woman.
Initially reported a woman got away and called for help.

- This couple is saying he put a pillow case over their heads and that he would leave in their car... so they waited a minute, broke themselves free of his restraints (what? he must have intended them to be able to get free, if he didn't tie or gag them tightly enough so that they'd be immobilized) and sought help.

- The cabin was being used as an apartment?  Who else lived there?

- Why would Dorner drive some couple's vehicle, only to take up residence in another cabin a little ways away?


He said deputies initially fired conventional "cold" tear gas into the cabin in Seven Oaks, near Big Bear Lake, then switched to "pyrotechnic-type" rounds" known as "burners."

Authorities have strong evidence that the man deputies tracked to the vacation cabin looked and behaved like Dorner, he said. And though he still could not "absolutely, positively confirm" that the charred body found inside was Dorner's, the sheriff said the coroner would likely make the determination "soon."

A wallet with a California driver's license bearing the name Christopher Dorner was found, the Associated Press reported earlier, citing a law enforcement official who was briefed on the investigation.

"We believe the investigation is over at this point," McMahon said.

It was also revealed that during the manhunt deputies had knocked on the door of the cabin, which was was but moved on when they got no answer.

- Is that evidence as strong as two elderly latin ladies or a white surfer dude? I mean, Dorner could have been anybody, he's like Fletch or Rich Little.
- Given the number of reports out of Big Bear from residents who were proud to be gun owners and talked a big game about having their guns ready to shoot if they thought trouble (Dorner) was coming their way.... but y'all can finish that train of thought for me.
2013-02-14 01:52:01 PM  
1 vote:
Morning meeting pre-attack plan;

Everyone have a Dorner license-check



Cabin sign up sheet for this season-check

We're going to draw straws now to see who we shoot, need 2-check

Meet back here post attack to go over acting and special effects.
2013-02-14 01:48:58 PM  
1 vote:

olapbill: cfroelic: The One True TheDavid: cfroelic: It's driver license, not drivers license.

Driver's. Possessive apostrophe.

No, it's Driver License.  No s, no apostrophe.  Check the California DMV site


driver? don't even know her.
at least up here it's driver's license.  Take off eh?

Hate to be "that guy" but you're still wrong. It's licence in Canada.
ontario.caView Full Size
2013-02-14 01:19:17 PM  
1 vote:
I know!

He was actually inside a robot copy of himself that he used to fake his own death!
2013-02-14 12:55:36 PM  
1 vote:

the ha ha guy: cfroelic: It's driver license, not drivers license.

No, it's "driver's license", not "driver license".

Apparently in CA, it IS driver license:

icenter.ucsd.eduView Full Size
2013-02-14 12:48:58 PM  
1 vote:

Snarfangel: cfroelic: It's driver license, not drivers license.

"I'm 007243911, and I have a license to drive."

No, Meester Bond, I expect you to MERGE!
2013-02-14 12:43:15 PM  
1 vote:

Captain Darling: WTF? If Dorner wasn't really the guy in the cabin, he will surely attempt to kill again.

No he wouldn't.  He gets a free pass if everyone thinks he's dead:  The police won't be looking for him, he won't be on "America's Most Wanted" or whatever, and people who see him, if they do recognize him, will merely shrug and say "Hey, he looks like that guy that got killed" to themselves.

That would give him time to plan out how he'll kill his other targets, oh, and they wouldn't be protected because there isn't a threat anymore.

Having said all that,

img176.imageshack.usView Full Size

He's dead, Jim.
2013-02-14 12:42:10 PM  
1 vote:

cfroelic: It's driver license, not drivers license.

"I'm 007243911, and I have a license to drive."
2013-02-14 12:41:40 PM  
1 vote:

cfroelic: It's driver license, not drivers license.

No, it's "driver's license", not "driver license".
2013-02-14 12:37:56 PM  
1 vote:
On 9/11 the government claimed one of the highjackers paasports was found in the debri of the trade centers. Farkers defended that.
2013-02-14 12:37:18 PM  
1 vote:

Captain Darling: From the comments

"I try not to be too tinfoil, but burning is really convenient since nobody can eyeball and identify the body that way. It's more important for the LAPD to publicly be seen to kill Dorner than for them to ACTUALLY kill Dorner. Think about it."

WTF? If Dorner wasn't really the guy in the cabin, he will surely attempt to kill again. How the hell would it profit the LAPD to fake his death?

What if the officers involved were sympathizers or agreed with... I can't finish this.
2013-02-14 12:32:20 PM  
1 vote:
This guy was standing up the jackboots of Obama's tyranny so had him silenced!
2013-02-14 12:31:49 PM  
1 vote:
Because murder.
2013-02-14 11:24:40 AM  
1 vote:

vpb: It's funny how these carefully scripted conspiracies always involve really careless oversights like multiple wallets and phony shooting victim photographs.

trbimg.comView Full Size

Yeah, photoshopped and obviously fake.
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