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Ahmadinejad to be shot into outer space, Teen Mom's uterus already in syndication, and Pau Gasol to miss six weeks of trade rumors: some of Fark's favorite headlines of the week for 2/3 - 2/9
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-02-12 3:07:11 PM (11 comments) | Permalink

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2445 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Feb 2013 at 3:37 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Have a great week!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-02-03 to Sat 2013-02-09:

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  Boy battles rare condition that leaves him blinded by light, revved up like a deuce    
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  Student creates incident after inhaling crushed smarties. Scene declared safe after student exploded at remote location    
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  Ahmadinejad wants to be shot into outer space, marking the first time Ahmadinejad and Israel have agreed on anything    
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  Athletes more sexually potent than couch potatoes, less likely to get obscure TV and film references    
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  Eight new revelations about ninjas. Read it quickly before they learn you're reading their deepest-kept secr    
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  "Cyberloafing on the rise" according to researcher who's never had the joy of seeing his headline in green    
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  Four men arrested for throwing shoe at Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. That must have been a big farking shoe    
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  Cougars-in-training: Young women are dating even younger men, or as we call them, "school teachers"    
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  Clerk shot by robber in video store... whatever that is    
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  Future tattoos may show when a person has a disease. You mean they don't already?    
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  "Black men [in LA] should avoid even the most banal confrontations with the police...make sure you cooperate with the police; now is not the right time to wear a hoodie," this is not a repeat from every other moment in the history of LA    
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Sports:

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  49ers "just getting warmed up," says columnist. Next year, they plan to show up and play in the first half too    
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  Pau Gasol has a torn plantar fascia, will miss six weeks of being included in trade rumors    
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  Penguins trade Lovejoy to Anaheim. Now they'll never find out what that Louis XIV chaise lounge in the basement is worth    
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Geek:

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  Wolverine listed as threatened species due to climate change, Magneto    
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  NOAA offers new red tide alert service. NOW considering similar alerts    
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  Researchers give randy moths the ability to drive little robots to hunt down sex partners, spawning a whole new genre of horror/action movies    
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Entertainment:

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  "Teen Mom" Leah has her third child at age 20. Apparently her uterus is already in syndication    
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  Xzibit takes over as head of programming at CBS. NCIS spinoff gets its own spinoff    
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  Christina Ricci to star in a new NBC comedy called Girlfriend in a Coma. I know. I know. It's serious    
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Politics:

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  Dick Morris gets the shaft from Fox News, will have to take his limp predictions somewhere else    
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  Penny Pritzker eyed for commerce secretary, great future as crossword puzzle clue    
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  Rand Paul to deliver Tea Party State of the Union response, give dramatic reading of Chapter 12 of Atlas Shrugged    
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Business:

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  Shutterfly earnings jump 50% as more brides no longer wonder if their prints will come    
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  Gas prices expected to rise, tanks Obama    
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  Coinstar 4Q profit falls 27%, investors immediately deduct 6.3% off the stock price    
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· · ·

11 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2013-02-12 03:41:32 PM  
Future tattoos may show when a person has a disease. You mean they don't already?

I love this one.
 
2013-02-12 03:45:44 PM  

cgraves67: Future tattoos may show when a person has a disease. You mean they don't already?

I love this one.


Me, too. How'd I miss it the first time around?
 
2013-02-12 04:03:41 PM  

HaywoodJablonski: cgraves67: Future tattoos may show when a person has a disease. You mean they don't already?

I love this one.

Me, too. How'd I miss it the first time around?


I third the love, and I missed it too.
 
2013-02-12 04:04:11 PM  
Dick Morris gets the shaft from Fox News, will have to take his limp predictions somewhere else

Sweet!  I made it to the weekly list!  :D

Is there anyway to go back and see how many votes you ended up with for a headline?
 
2013-02-12 04:05:31 PM  
I think some of the headlines that were not greenlighted were much much better.
 
2013-02-12 04:23:46 PM  
only 1 this week. I was hoping for one of the better ones getting in. Oh well

/Wolverines
 
2013-02-12 04:27:53 PM  
Both of these made me LOL:

Boy battles rare condition that leaves him blinded by light, revved up like a deuce

Ahmadinejad wants to be shot into outer space, marking the first time Ahmadinejad and Israel have agreed on anything
 
2013-02-12 09:39:58 PM  
The moths and the Dick Morris one are vaguely funny.

But the only one that really made me laugh was the "prints will come" one.

If the best one is a pun, it's been a week with really slim pickings.
 
2013-02-12 10:11:55 PM  
Made this a while back, seems appropriate, now.

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2013-02-13 04:05:33 AM  
Wow! Thanks Fark! I got a headline of the week!

Black men [in LA] should avoid even the most banal confrontations with the police...make sure you cooperate with the police; now is not the right time to wear a hoodie

Dunno if this is my 1st or not. I haven't been paying attention.

Do total farkers vote for these or something?

And, do I get some sort of prize, badge, total fark subscription? :D
 
2013-02-13 04:07:17 AM  
ps: oops, i cut off my own headline! It was...

Black men [in LA] should avoid even the most banal confrontations with the police...make sure you cooperate with the police; now is not the right time to wear a hoodie," this is not a repeat from every other moment in the history of LA
 
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