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(Short List)   Three-year-old joins Mensa after her IQ scores higher than Stephen Hawking. Meanwhile Subby, 32, is so dum he's probably managed a typo somewhere in this submmision   ( shortlist.com) divider line
    More: Cool, Mensa, Prof Stephen Hawking  
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4898 clicks; posted to Geek » on 11 Feb 2013 at 10:04 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-02-11 08:10:25 AM  
8 votes:
Meanwhile in the U.S....

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2013-02-11 09:03:57 AM  
7 votes:
Remember, if you want to boast about the enormous size of your IQ in one of these threads, there are certain standards and procedures that you need to follow lest people think you're some sort of insufferable braggart. First of all, you need to begin your IQ statement with some sort of declaimer explaining that you don't really care about your IQ. Something like, "I'm not really sure that it means all that much," or "I've never really placed much stock in this, but," or something like that. You could also go a slightly different path, acknowledging that your IQ is perhaps not quite as high as that of others, but that you were hung over/sick/distracted/bored when you took the test and so almost certainly didn't score as high as you otherwise might. Be careful to not overplay this hand, especially if others have already used something similar.

When you get to the actual number, it's generally best to express it as a range. Like, saying "I scored a 147" would possibly be impressive, except that, like in the Price is Right when some asshat comes in on the initial bid and goes one dollar over your offer and wins as a result, it's too easy to top. So, keeping it somewhat vague (I scored in the 140s-150s range, but the administrator said there were some irregularities that might have meant I actually scored much higher, etc.) works to your advantage. It's also a good idea to hang back in the thread a bit, wait to see if there some general field of scores being posted, and remain within striking distance of that so that you don't sound too out there. For example, if everyone is placing themselves in the 150-160 range, you might come in the upper 160s. Don't blow the field by more than a few points, though; you're likely to find yourself a target.

Self-hobbling is another great technique to make yourself seem more realistic when it comes to your high IQ score. By this, I mean claiming some sort of amusing defect that you must live with on a daily basis despite being "gifted" with such an enormous intellect. For example, you might be someone with a 180 IQ who can't, for the life of him, change his car oil. And you might sentimentalize a bit about it, must on how sometimes you think it would be a good thing to be just slightly less perceptive, slightly less intelligent, if only you could get your hands around some of the "common sense," "nitty gritty" know how that the less intellectually endowed sometimes seem to have. It doesn't have to be mechanical skills, of course. Maybe you're forgetful, always misplacing your keys. Maybe you're just  terrible with names. Be creative, that's what you do.
2013-02-11 10:58:32 AM  
4 votes:
While I'm not one to consider IQ scores a major achievement, especially since their methodology is so flawed, I've consistently scored in the 170-180 range in many online, time-based IQ tests. I was never really trying that hard, so I probably could have scored over 9000 if I was focused.

I appreciate the finer things in life, like a perfect cup of espresso, or the melody of a bird's song. However, I just can't find the time to put the dishes in the dishwasher. It's such a trivial inconvenience, as is the toilet, which is why I use a jar and a bedpan between games of Arathi Basin and I always keep a minifridge filled with Diet Mountain Dews and a heavy stock of cheetos nearby.
2013-02-11 09:45:21 AM  
3 votes:

Pocket Ninja: Remember, if you want to boast about the enormous size of your IQ in one of these threads


Heh heh!  This.

/How do you know someone is in Mensa?
//They'll tell you!
2013-02-11 10:28:34 AM  
2 votes:
When I was 2 I spoke french, german, russian and chineese equally well. I also taught my younger sister things (like pain). I didn't get some fancy piece of paper.
2013-02-12 08:24:23 AM  
1 vote:

Iluvbeer: My 3-year-old today took a dump in the toilet and then filled it so full of toilet paper, it overflowed.  Then she kept flushing and adding more toilet paper to "clean it up."  What does that score on a MENSA test?

That's easy. Post evidence on your Facebook and divide the number of likes by total number of friends.
2013-02-11 01:14:54 PM  
1 vote:

kvinesknows: DjangoStonereaver: I have heard that MENSA is basically a huge singles club populated by men hoping to find smart women
but only finding other egotistical men.

and one young girl.........

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2013-02-11 11:27:48 AM  
1 vote:

serial_crusher: My first instinct here is to question the validity of the test.
Well, that's my first instinct for any IQ tests really.
"Complete this sequence: 1,2,3,5,7,9, __, __"
I know enough about math to know that any number can come next.  Seeing patterns where they don't necessarily exist does not make you smart.

any number can of course come next, HOWEVER, its about any number using current "normal" considerations.

ie.  that obviously prime numbers in our context.. and the context the test would be written under.  However, a real genius may just find a new number that given proper logical explanation is correct... but NOT what the test is looking for.

Ive tested at 172 myself...
2013-02-11 11:23:43 AM  
1 vote:

Sodoku is an actual six-letter word in the Japanese language.  It means "rat poison," but refers to a disease caused by rat bites.  In particular, rat bite fever caused by the spirillum minus bacteria.  The symptoms are pretty minor like headache and malaise, but the complications include heart problems, hepatitis, and enlarged spleen.  Not as bad as Hantavirus.

Check out the big spleen on Brad!
2013-02-11 11:23:13 AM  
1 vote:

EyeForgot: NSCSB

Back in 1996 I had a major head injury (assault that led to a cerebral hemotomah) but refused surgery (aka ran out of the hospital when they said they were going to saw open my skull).  Some bs happened and I lost custody of my daughter and a couple months later being that I was having issues with communicating with people (language skills were off), making decisions (would basically do whatever the last person told me to do and would mentally shutdown when I was forced to make a decision for myself), they tried to get me declared mentally incompetent by taking an IQ and personality tests at some mental hospital in B'ham, AL.

Ironically that backfired on them as I scored a 159, 159 and 160 on the different tests they gave me (tested me multiple times and the tests only went to 160).  Of course the MRI around the same time said that approximately 20% of my brain was "dead" due to the injury and other areas had more activity than normal.  According to the neurologists I should have been an invalid or dead.

Before the assault I had tested a 148 (as a teen after a suicide attempt while drugged out of my mind) but at the time had a photographic memory and could do calculus in my head with minor note scribble by plugging numbers and not going through the formula. I can no longer do any of that and I'm down to english as my only language vs knowing 4 before the assault.  Not only that but my personality completely changed in the 2 years after the assault.  Where I was assertive, decisive (and a smartass douchebag) I am the complete opposite now.  Hell one of the most difficult things I do is try to figure out what I want for lunch now.

Granted I'm not stupid but I am nowhere near "genius" level IMO.  Plus the personality tests are complete and utter bullshiat.  Honestly I think i should have made a 70 at best as at the time I was extremely retarded and probably would have scored a 0 on the common sense test if they had one.  If the tests were accurate I think i w ...

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2013-02-11 11:17:03 AM  
1 vote:

abhorrent1: So just like a penis thread, this is where everyone lies about how big their IQ is?

No, apparently an IQ thread is where dummies go to snark at people with high IQs. Sorta like how a penis thread is where microphallics go to snark about guys with big dicks.
2013-02-11 11:04:46 AM  
1 vote:

abhorrent1: So just like a penis thread, this is where everyone lies about how big their IQ is?

/no one cares what your IQ is
//no one believes you either

My IQ is 9. I had one girl break up with me because she was so sore afterwards; she just couldn't take a hard thinking.
2013-02-11 10:55:38 AM  
1 vote:

syrynxx: Meanwhile in the U.S....

That just lowered everyone's IQ by 30 points.
2013-02-11 10:44:58 AM  
1 vote:
As an 18 month old super-genius, I'm getting a kick out of some of these replies...
2013-02-11 10:38:34 AM  
1 vote:
I bet she still shiats her pants now and then, but at least she can tell her parents in Russian.
2013-02-11 10:30:47 AM  
1 vote:
Somebody is going to be a social pariah. She'll probably still be a virgin when she graduates from preschool.
2013-02-11 10:24:57 AM  
1 vote:
I enjoyed your headline subby. +1, would grammar nazi again.
2013-02-11 10:17:47 AM  
1 vote:
IQ means intelligence quotient.  It is defined as the quotient of your mental age divided by your physical age.

So if you multiply your physical age by your IQ, you get your mental age.

This girl is the mental equivalent of somewhere between four and seven years old (if it's like, the day before her fourth birthday).

/Last I checked, my IQ was 140.
//On one part of the test (I think the verbal IQ), I scored "off the charts", which caps out at 160.
///Was a LONG time ago.
2013-02-11 10:11:10 AM  
1 vote:
IQ tests test specific knowledge and abstract reasoning, not intellect.

I am programmer with a high IQ. My mechanic step-father has a low one.  Who do you want working on your car?

Here's a harder one: do you want uneducated but experienced construction workers building your house, or the architects and structural engineers that designed it?
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