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(Buzzfeed)   The evolution of the Hollywood zombie   ( buzzfeed.com) divider line
    More: Scary, George A. Romero, Hollywood Zombies, Night of the Living Dead, Day of the Dead, dawn of the dead, the first 48, Origin of Species, Nicholas Hoult  
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5496 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 02 Feb 2013 at 2:23 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2013-02-02 03:12:58 AM  
3 votes:

ExperianScaresCthulhu: MagSeven: Romero's first "Zombie" was a running zombie.

that's why i don't get criticism of fast zombies as unrealistic in a zombie universe. yeah, slow zombies are waaaaaaaaaay more scary than fast zombies, but fast zombies are also canon.

/i also don't get criticism of the intelligent zombies of the first season of the tv version of Walking Dead
//if the lizard part of the brain survives, why not rudimentary tool manipulation and memory in the fresh corpse?

I always wondered about the justification of zombies wanting to eat our flesh. If they are alive with the drive to feed, wouldn't a lifetime of eating other food stuffs be what motivates them? It makes more sense for them to gravitate towards shopping malls, and stores where food and entertainment were readily available in life. Nothing about us in our lived experiences would drive us to eat each other once dead.
I'd expect to see a Safeway full of frustrated zombies clawing at the ice cream coolers as they moaned out in longing for just one more scoop of rocky road.
2013-02-02 03:47:11 PM  
1 vote:
Have the zombies started sparkling in the sunshine yet? If not, we haven't hit rock-bottom just yet.
2013-02-02 12:26:16 PM  
1 vote:
is this where I express outrage since 28 Days Later doesn't use "real" zombies?
/agree about the whole "braaaiiiinnnss" thing
2013-02-02 07:28:15 AM  
1 vote:

FullMetalPanda: Alphax: Mr. Coffee Nerves: Creativity-wise the zombie genre is at the point in the Porn Career Arc where it is reduced to blowing farm animals on a webcam for meth.

The concept needs to lie fallow for a few years, but, cash-cow-wise the genre is roaring along, so we'll soon see a lot more "Warm Bodies" style material. Once we see the Buddy Cop flick where one cop is a zombie, the Group of Friends Hang Out sitcom where at least one friend is a zombie and, the final death knell, the CBS police procedural CSI: Braaaaains.

They had 'Dead Heat', with cops that became zombies, with Joe Piscopo..

I liked 'Dead Heat'!!!

The part that stuck out for me was when the whole butcher shop worth of animals comes back to life to attack the heroes.  Mostly headless pigs and chickens, I think.
2013-02-02 05:30:38 AM  
1 vote:
Here's a summary for those that don't want to click the link:

1932-1967: Classic beginnings
-- Voodoo zombies, supernatural movies, and the last man on earth
-- Also, hammer films, dude.  Good, clean fun.

1968-1984: George A. Romero makes his mark
-- Night of the living dead, its addition to public domain, various "night" ripoffs
-- We have to pretend there was more to it than the previous bullet point because we're not paid if we don't make the minimum word-count

1985: Woah, look, no one cares now
-- shiat no one gave a fark about at the time and even fewer farks are given about this film and its spinoffs now

1985-2001: No one still cares
-- Hey, that one's pretty goo- no, wait, still boring shiat no one gives a fark about
-- More insignificant movies that made essentially zero impact on literature
-- even romero ran out of ideas after the second movie, what do you want from us here?
-- Honestly, this period didn't even have proper exploitation cinema, and you expect us to come up with good zombie movies from the one period in cinema history that could make Tarantino look like something other than a hack?  fark this, man, we quit.

2002-2012: Like, one dude cares, maybe, when he can be bothered
-- 28 days later was OK I guess
-- Nope, nothing else anyone cares about
-- Hell, most of these were box office bombs even at the time, but now... man, just straight embarrassing to even pretend they contributed to cinema in any way
-- I mean, come the fark on, most of these make art school half-term projects by sophomores look like Citizen Kane

2013-: People will continue to give zero farks
-- Wait, is it possible to give negative farks?  Like, the "superman spinning around the earth so hard time goes backward" of fark-giving?
-- Because we're reduced to shamelessly plugging a romantic comedy so shiatty it had to resort to the "Pride and Prejudice with Zombies" shiat.  I don't even thing superman could manage that one.
-- It's somehow even more embarassing even than the "in SPAAAAAAAAACE" shiat from the 50s/60s.  At least that was rooted in a distinct pulp tradition instead of just milking the wallets of exceptionally stupid 30 year olds in argyle vests with false pretensions of culture.
-- Seriously, please just firebomb our offices, this job is slowly killing our souls and we can only beg for a mercy stroke
-- Oh god I wrote a whole article endorsing a Nicholas Holt vehicle, for the love of god kill me before I start trying to carve my own brains out with a spoon.
2013-02-02 05:22:03 AM  
1 vote:
did someone say hollywood zombie?
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
2013-02-02 03:06:51 AM  
1 vote:
The first time I saw an ad for Warm Bodies, I wanted to punch someone so badly...

/look out Mummies and Frankenstein's monster, they're coming for <i>you</i> next...
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