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(Opposing Views)   Bad: Accidentally shooting off your own penis. Fark: Being charged with illegal possession of a firearm and ammunition for doing so   ( opposingviews.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, illegal possession of a firearm, ammunition, firearms  
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6786 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jan 2013 at 5:06 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

73 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-01-23 12:13:21 AM  
Well this thread seems the ideal place to leave this.

The amazing The Voice Of Doom made this for me. It's a filter that changes the word "gun" to "penis" in Fark poli threads. It only works after the thread goes live but it's awesome.
2013-01-23 12:13:51 AM  
A Responsible Gun OwnerTM named Rick
Succeeded in shooting off his own dick
There's no doubt that tonight
Posts from the Outraged RightTM
Will definitely provide a great kick

2013-01-23 12:20:16 AM  
Darwin in action and nobody has to die!
2013-01-23 12:27:44 AM  
cache.gizmodo.comView Full Size
2013-01-23 12:39:18 AM  
gun cocks off, guns cock off.
2013-01-23 12:46:08 AM  
'Shoot your dick off,' is a much more potent warning than 'shoot your eye out' to some people.

/In other news, don't let that person roll dice for your character.
2013-01-23 01:59:53 AM  
It's not as if I haven't told him time after time to not go off half-cocked, but does he listen?
2013-01-23 02:09:33 AM  
Good riddance. He shouldn't reproduce.
2013-01-23 03:07:43 AM  
This is my penis,
this is my gun,
this is for farking,
this is for blowing my dick off and getting myself arrested like the farking idiot that I am.
2013-01-23 03:43:58 AM  
2013-01-23 05:19:43 AM  
That's genitally a bad idea if you're looking to procreate.
2013-01-23 05:20:52 AM  
A man of this calibre shouldn't reload.
2013-01-23 05:22:42 AM  
Back alley circumcisions have gotten way out of control.
2013-01-23 05:25:19 AM  
Yes, you would think he's been punished enough.
2013-01-23 05:26:10 AM  

Valiente: A man of this calibre shouldn't reload.

Should have been shooting blanks instead of blankly shooting.
2013-01-23 05:29:40 AM  
Time served, court adjourned!

/shouldn't have went off half cocked
2013-01-23 05:31:31 AM  

quickdraw: Well this thread seems the ideal place to leave this.

The amazing The Voice Of Doom made this for me. It's a filter that changes the word "gun" to "penis" in Fark poli threads. It only works after the thread goes live but it's awesome.

That's awesome! My husband commented that he didn't know he married a 12 yr old, but I think it's funny.
2013-01-23 05:31:47 AM  
2013-01-23 05:32:16 AM  
And now he can't be charged with having a concealed weapon.
2013-01-23 05:35:14 AM  
I had a friend who shot one of balls off at 16, while playing with a gun
/Everyone use to call him one ball Albert
2013-01-23 05:35:20 AM  
Did they find it in his pants later? Did they give it back to him so he could give it a proper burial?
2013-01-23 05:40:25 AM  
Well, he's mostly finished with his sexual re-assigment and can look forward to life as a reluctant woman or perhaps a happy lesbian!
2013-01-23 05:42:42 AM  

Aces and Eights: Did they find it in his pants later? Did they give it back to him so he could give it a proper burial?

These are legitimate questions. If I survived shooting off my own penis, I'd want to at least give it a shoebox funeral. I mean, dude, it's my penis. We go way back together.
2013-01-23 05:43:04 AM  
poor guy. i'm trying to imagine the gun he'll have to get to make up the penis he doesn't even have anymore.

maybe this thing
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
2013-01-23 05:45:08 AM  
pic20.picturetrail.comView Full Size
2013-01-23 05:47:27 AM  
Bonus: He was a security guard who presumably had gun safety training. Dipshiat. He must be related to this guy.

/Oblig but possibly NSFW.
//Probably not, but better to be safe than sorry.
2013-01-23 05:48:34 AM  

log_jammin: penis

i47.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-01-23 05:57:57 AM  

Apos: A Responsible Gun Owner

A man in the Caribbean, with a highly illegal gun, who violates at least three of the four rules and takes out his own penis?
I predict a thorough lack of sympathy or outrage.
2013-01-23 06:15:40 AM  
That's hard to swallow.
2013-01-23 06:17:37 AM  
FTA: after a gun tucked into his waistband accidentally discharged

I've had accidental discharges when no gun was involved.
2013-01-23 06:22:28 AM  

dickfreckle: [pic20.picturetrail.com image 375x500]

Speaking of phallic tombstones - when doing the "Freedom Trail" walking tour of Boston came upon the grave of John Hancock

s1.postimage.orgView Full Size

Someone had a sense of humor there.
/mind in the gutter, always.
2013-01-23 06:34:13 AM  
Did you learn your lesson now, Plaxico Burress?
2013-01-23 06:47:10 AM  
If there was ever a time a man would have been glad to be shooting blanks...
2013-01-23 06:59:04 AM  
cache.gawker.comView Full Size
2013-01-23 07:01:38 AM  
He'll never do it again.
2013-01-23 07:05:21 AM  
He got a redneck vasectomy.
2013-01-23 07:05:43 AM  
So they really are detachable.
2013-01-23 07:08:27 AM  
Ooh-ooh aah-ahh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh aah-ahh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh

Johnny shot himself in the cock,
shoved a gun down his pants,
and the trigger got caught
It's tough,
so tough.

His penis took a bullet that day
Part of the tip is
on the surgeon's tray
It's tough,
so tough.

Now he's got to hold on,
to what he's got
he didn't have a glans
'cause it got shot off
He's still got the shaft,
and that's a lot
for love,
for love......
2013-01-23 07:09:22 AM  

david_gaithersburg: So they really are detachable.

Metaphorically they are. Just ask the distaffbopper.
2013-01-23 07:14:23 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2013-01-23 07:22:03 AM  
But he doesn't possess it anymore, does he?
2013-01-23 07:27:10 AM  
All a hoax so Obama can come take our guns.

media-cache-lt0.pinterest.comView Full Size

/Oh LOCK and load
2013-01-23 07:27:25 AM  
Darwin works in mysterious (and funny) ways.

If you shoot your own dick off, you deserve neither the penis nor the gun
2013-01-23 07:31:26 AM  
If i ever accidently my penis im pretty sure id intentionally myself in the head afterwords rather than calling an ambulance
2013-01-23 07:34:11 AM  

Apos: A Responsible Gun OwnerTM named Rick...

He lost that title when he stopped being responsible with his firearm.
2013-01-23 07:36:49 AM  
Finally! A thread that justifies the grabber fascination with talking about other men's penises.
2013-01-23 07:45:01 AM  
"Stubby, you're under arrest!"
2013-01-23 07:47:22 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Yes, you would think he's been punished enough.

The real punishment is that he's going to prison, and can't make anyone his biatch.

Oh they can still have the ceremony, but he'll never be able to seal the deal.
2013-01-23 07:50:56 AM  
1-if you can afford a pistol then you can afford a holster

2-keep your finger out of the triggerguard until your sights are on the target

3-never let the barrel line up with anything you don't want destroyed

4-treat the gun as if it is ALWAYS loaded

5-there is no do over once the hammer drops
2013-01-23 07:54:49 AM  
If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will shoot their own dicks off.
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