If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Toronto Star)   Toronto Star columnist garners world-wide attention for writing the worst opening sentence ever to a news story   ( thestar.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Toronto Star, breast reduction, anesthesiologists, David Duchovny, hysterectomy, bench trial, convictions  
•       •       •

23253 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2013 at 9:15 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-01-20 09:33:35 AM  
5 votes:
I wonder what her story on Sandy Hook was like? "20 school children lost their lives, but gained some lead!"
2013-01-20 07:48:59 AM  
4 votes:
In the editor's weekly meeting: "And another thing - do we always have to be so down in the mouth when describing rape? Can't we find a way to punch things up and work in a few zingers?"
2013-01-20 09:28:15 AM  
3 votes:
"It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a doctor rang the doorbell..."
midwifetothestars.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2013-01-20 10:07:24 AM  
2 votes:
The Star is just awful, and Rosie is one of the table legs of its woeful, faux-outraged, faux-earnest, "what about the children", breathlessly biatchy, under-researched tripe. Picture a senile bedwetter left in a cold room with "The Collected Lou Grant" on shuffle, and you'll capture the tone of well-rotted champagne socialism and candy-ass crusading utterly bereft of logic, order and an ability to count. It takes a village of idiots to deliver this muck. They can't even criticize our clown-car of a mayor properly, which is like talking about Lohan's acting ability while she has nodded off in the gutter in front of you.

The Sunday edition is thrown free at my door for some obscure marketing reason, and it makes an excellent liner for the cat pan.
2013-01-20 09:58:07 AM  
2 votes:
Damn shovinists
2013-01-20 09:33:15 AM  
2 votes:

Four Horsemen of the Domestic Dispute: while the latter was forcibly shoved into her slack mouth

and rang it like a dinner bell.
2013-01-20 09:17:39 AM  
2 votes:
The pen is mightier
2013-01-20 01:00:27 PM  
1 vote:
t.qkme.meView Full Size
2013-01-20 12:51:09 PM  
1 vote:
"I smelled him because he had his penis in my mouth..."

justsaypictures.comView Full Size
2013-01-20 10:51:44 AM  
1 vote:

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Hmm. Turns out I suck at reading.

Not as much as me. Here I was thinking the vet surgeon was the one doing the fondling.
2013-01-20 10:50:41 AM  
1 vote:

Fear the Clam: Wow, those Canadians sure like to drug and rape people.

We missed half of hockey season this year. What else were we supposed to do?
2013-01-20 10:26:52 AM  
1 vote:
"Invasive touching around the nipples?"

So, did he make five little slits just big enough for each finger and thumb? Or just three like a bowling ball? Or maybe just one to swish it around in there? Yick.
2013-01-20 10:20:10 AM  
1 vote:
slack jawed lokal
2013-01-20 10:04:04 AM  
1 vote:
Edna Buchanan, she ain't.

Google is awesome. I remember two words from a 1986 news story and I get the info I want in the first result. Anyway, here's a little story about Edna
2013-01-20 09:51:17 AM  
1 vote:

A whole what?

Crap. Such a dumb mistake to make. What good is the Preview button if you don't use it?

/crawls under rock
2013-01-20 09:46:19 AM  
1 vote:
When I read that opening line I thought the article would go on to describe a sex change operation (adadictomy?).
2013-01-20 09:43:14 AM  
1 vote:

Ilmarinen: Bungles: There are quite a number of cases where doctors have been imprisoned for sexual abuse during operations

And why not? You can just cut a whole that's exactly right for you.

/any window seats left?

A whole what?
2013-01-20 09:36:36 AM  
1 vote:
Yeah, right, subby.


Well, I'll be damned.
2013-01-20 09:34:03 AM  
1 vote:
D.D. had undergone breast reduction surgery

Well, yeah.
2013-01-20 09:27:54 AM  
1 vote:
while the latter was forcibly shoved into her slack mouth
2013-01-20 09:27:49 AM  
1 vote:
27 people had the same dream. Weird
2013-01-20 09:27:07 AM  
1 vote:
there's a difference between being touchy-feely and sticking your penis in somebody's mouth
2013-01-20 09:23:25 AM  
1 vote:
The Star Summary

Rob Ford Article
Marine Land Article
Ontario Teacher Article
Liberals are Bad or Good Article
Random articles peppered in for "flavor"

Mix together and print.....
2013-01-20 09:20:31 AM  
1 vote:
2013-01-20 09:19:43 AM  
1 vote:
God I hate Rosie Di Manno. Every article she writes, almost without exception, makes me cringe.

/reads the star
//thinks Heather Mallick is a much better writer
///are slashies still in fashion? It's been a while since I was on Fark
2013-01-20 09:17:57 AM  
1 vote:
I smell a new meme...
Displayed 26 of 26 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.